Charge of the Light Brigade!

Frequently, intense and somewhat heated exchanges occur in discussion forums focusing on spirituality. Usually, this is handled with civility, however, often it tends to create bad feelings amongst individuals and, although, this may rise up occasionally, most tend to seek out greater civility and make apologies as necessary.

But this is life, boys and girls! These discussions are microcosmic representations of life itself, merely abridged and abbreviated.

Yet, lo and behold, we have the charge of the Light Brigade! Because they refuse to enter into the often dark depths of engagement, and often are disengaged from most conflicts of life, the lightworkers come to our "emotional rescue." They seek to spread peace and light in the hopes of redirecting hostilities, but merely make the participants feel even more guilty for their conflictual engagement.

Who could not feel guilty when the interaction they recently engaged in was anything but "peace and light"?

Thank god for the lightworkers and their clichés of love and godliness; with their comfortable pithy quotes from the master teachers of light.

Sometimes I want to ask, are you real? But that would be too controversial and so, It would go unanswered.

I sense their presence always, out there in the margins, rarely engaging except to post a quote from the venerable in the hopes of saving the discussion from death by negativity. Disagree with their means and you instantly indict yourself as in league with the positivity sucking devils of darkness.

Conflict is anathema to the lightworkers who define life as merely the spreading of positive "vibrations." We must remain positive at all times. Philosophical negativity is shunned because, as their creed demands, negativity in all its forms can never have any value and can only lead to more negativity. Negative interactions can have no cathartic effect in aiding individuals in seeing more clearly the views they hold. Life is chock full of conflict and most is of our own doing, individually and collectively. Yet, we tend to grow through spasms of pain and suffering. We watch others struggle to make sense of anger and depression and we identify with them, because their struggle is ours.

Most of us, that is, but not the lightworkers. They seem unusually immune to the conflicts the rest of us poor folk plod through. But if only we would just seek the light, all our troubles would be gone, "come into the light, Caroleanne, come into the light!"

But we are!

For the lightworkers, dirty laundry stinks and so we must quickly wash away our issues and problems with lots of soap and water. Remember when you mother washed out your fowl mouth with soap? You continued to use the ‘F' word even more ferociously! ( well, maybe that was just me)

No, dear friends, we must always shed our light upon the world, because darkness has no value. Ahh... but without darkness to define your seeking the light, how would you define your "self" and the very project you are engaged in?

Forget the deep-seated ancient issues and the wounds crying out to be healed. Just pour pink paint over them and everything will be all better. I avoid lightworkers like the plague, since they deny us our struggle, and merely provide 'lip-service' the aphorisms of the ancient lightworkers.

They deny LIFE.

These frightened folks tend to rile me more than the complex exchanges between ideological opponents seeking common ground. It's almost as if there are no problems that their positive thinking can't solve.

I meet these individuals in my work on a daily basis and have come to see this as a feint, a delusion, a foil, because under all their peace and light is a boiling cauldron of emotion just waiting to come to the surface and murder everyone in their path.

They scare me...

"Don't you dare," they seem to say, in their desperate need to hide from their own emotional self.

Here ye, oh, lightworkers of the world:

You are not saving the world by spreading your light. The light comes from intimately understanding one another within our depths, not from deflecting that understanding through platitudes that seek to offset negativity. Face your fears through another. Intimacy demands discomfort in vacating all our pretty ideological boxes and packages. Your "light" merely prolongs the inevitable intimacy that our conflict has the potential to bring.

Throw away your pithy quotes and your scripts from the "masters."

I ask... WHAT SAY YOU! Will you give me honesty or just more of your "light."

Mature conflict is encouraged in the often painful search for the truth that is discovered by all differently. Even immature conflict is warranted as long as adults can apologize for their mistakes of the mouth. If you are afraid of conflict, you are asked to risk you plastic sense of peace and seek the intimacy that true depth of engagement brings. Real peace is not born of new age platitudes and clichés, but of engagement. Swim in my depths and I will join with yours in our own Intimate Awakening.

Spreading of light allowed, but only through depth of engagement.

CONVERSATIONS WITH EGO: "Serious Business"

ego: Uh…Mike, what are you laughing at?

Mike: Haha! What I just wrote! Teehee. LOL!

ego: Mike, don’t you think you should be taking our spirituality a little more seriously?

Mike: Huh? Why? And what do you mean "our" spirituality?

ego: Mike, you know we're in this together and nobody’s gonna take what you write seriously if you act as if this is all a big joke. Besides, “enlightenment” is serious business!

Mike: Well, maybe it is a “big joke.” In fact, maybe God’s laughing his ass off with all our serious spiritual and religious bullshit!

ego: Mike! We cannot have this! Spirituality is serious business and you gotta stop fooling around. There’s important work to be done!

Mike: Says who? You! You take everything so damn serious, no wonder most days I’m a mental case!

ego: I am truly shocked by your attitude! The world’s ancient spiritual paths and religions are based on centuries of serious teachings, taught by serious “masters.” You can't just disrespect the teachings with your lame comedy bits.

Mike: I thought we were trying to break from the past.

ego: Uh…well…yes… we are, but keep in mind that I am a product of your past. Therefore, for you to exist you must accept the past in me.

Mike: Well, maybe by no longer taking spirituality so serious, I no longer have to take you serious and life might become a bit more enjoyable around here.

ego: Enjoyable! Mike, life is suffering and sacrifice and you know that, since I’ve spent years teaching you. How could you forget? Now mike…you need to keep in mind that I assisted you in acquiring all the important stuff you now know. You need to take this seriously, dammit!

Mike: Hmmm…maybe what you fear is that, if spirituality becomes a big joke to me, you’ll also become a big joke, since you seem to thrive on my taking everything seriously, especially the so-called “important stuff."

ego: Mike! Stop this now! You need to get with the program like everybody else and stop this foolishness.

Mike: See ya…

ego: Mike... wait… Mike! Don’t do this………..Mike?

CONVERSATIONS WITH EGO: Leaves on a Stream

ego: Hey Mike! What about lunch, aren’t you hungry?

Mike: Shhhh…can't you see I'm trying to meditate?

ego: oooh, sorry….Hey! wait a minute... if that’s true then why were you just thinking about your girlfriend from high school?

Mike: Good grief! I thought we went over this already? Don’t you remember what we were taught? Thoughts come and go and I have to just allow them to pass "like fallen leaves on a stream."

ego: Uh...okay, but I don’t think this hunger is gonna pass like leaves on a stream.

Mike: Damn! Why’ does it always have to be about you?

ego: But, Mike, I only have your best interests at heart.

Mike: Then let me meditate in peace. Don’t you realize I’m trying to awaken to my true nature?

ego: Oh, okay….but, how can you awaken to your “true nature” if you have to let it pass "like fallen leaves on a stream."

Mike: No! It’s the thoughts that pass like "fallen leaves on a stream," not my true nature. My true nature is the end of all thought.

ego: Ooooh! Okay, I get it…..but then….how will you know when it’s time to eat?

Mike: Well…Oh, I don’t know! That's not important! Why are you asking so many questions? I just need you to shut up and cooperate with these spiritual practices so I can start making some progress here.

ego: To get enlightened?

Mike: Yes! To get enlightened, dammit!

ego: Ok, I get it now….but….don’t you think we should we eat first and then get enlightened? I mean…if you stop thinking… we might starve!

Mike: (sigh) Ok, fine! Let’s eat first….

Modern Gurus and Psychiatric Disorders

Here’s a great post (Shame, Guilt and Guru's Blood from What Enlightenment??! Blog) on the teaching practices and approaches of the populist modern guru, or “enlightened bad-boy,” Andrew Cohen. The report of his enlightened antics is rather long but deeply interesting and the comments of others are "enlightening" as well.

It seems that many of our modern enlightenment gurus may in fact be afflicted with various psychiatric disorders. Narcissistic personality disorder, varying degrees of schizotypal and low-grade schizophrenia, and of course, the roller coaster symptomology of bipolar affective disorder. Bipolar disorder is composed of a manic stage and a depressive stage and Cohen seems clearly afflicted with this neurochemical imbalanced condition..

Manic phase of bipolar disorder

Signs and symptoms of the manic phase of bipolar disorder may include:

• Euphoria
  
• Extreme optimism
• Inflated self-esteem
• Poor judgment
• Rapid speech
• Racing thoughts
• Aggressive behavior
• Agitation
• Increased physical activity
• Risky behavior
• Spending sprees
• Increased drive to perform or achieve goals
• Increased sexual drive
• Decreased need for sleep
• Tendency to be easily distracted
• Inability to concentrate
• Drug abuse

The depressive phase consists of sadness, hopelessness, extreme anxiety, guilt, irritability, problems concentrating and various other depressed symptoms. Yet, we are not drawn to the depressed guru, (boring!) but the manic eccentricities of the enlightened ones. Not to be eccentric is a sure sign of normalcy and a failure to be “awakened.”

Psychiatric symptoms are clearly evident in some of our most revered modern gurus such as Jed Mckenna, Ken Wilber (actually Jed's a bit more narcissistic than Ken), Adi Da (clearly, also shizotypal as well), Osho (now there’s a real neurochemical imbalance, yet the popular spiritualists all over the internet still seem to constantly quote the guy), and numerous others.

Andrew Cohen is certainly a prime candidate for medication therapy. Unfortunately, the claim of being “enlightened” easily masks the symptomatic behaviors and we all, schmucks that we are, suffer as well from the cult of personality and our own endemic and indigenous "dependence personality disorder" (this seems even more rampant within the ranks of the followers).

Cohen’s practice was to embarrass and insult his “students,” have them perform shameful acts, head shaving, standing still for long hours performing “penitence,” remaining immersed in cold water, etc, etc, the list goes on and on.

Ha! But guru-loving schmucks that we are, we continue to buy this guy’s magazine and engage in his prescribed “practices.” Numerous other so-called 'modern' gurus line up to join Cohen’s brilliant 'enlightened' marketing machine. Popular Gurus such as Ken Wilber, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, et al, suck at the Cohen marketing teat with no reservation, because let’s face it, enlightenment is one thing, the marketing of your enlightened status is a whole other ball game.

This spiritual celebrity game has garnered Billions of dollars from the unsuspecting collective seeking to “awaken” to some other reality only to be immersed in the same ego-games they sought to leave behind. It seems to me that similar to the exposing of the wall street cons and criminals, the spirituality ego-games will need to go through such a deep cleansing. Yet, these shysters are much more difficult to expose due to the elusive nature of the "enlightenment" project. Maybe the project should be discontinued since, with all the so-called 'enlightened ones' that have 'appeared' throughout history, we still seem hell bent on mutually destroying ourselves.

That leaves us to ask, "so then, what good is 'enlightenment' anyway"?

If you want to experience “awakening” from a madman, get committed to the asylum.

If you want to “awaken” to truth then look to the ones you love to show it to you.

Either way, it's your choice!

Perfect Peace is "Enlightenment"

Peace has always been the purpose of this blog. Contrary to the fact that I tend to stir the pot of the conventional ego-games, that we refer to as "spirituality," and get some folks a bit irritated in my questioning of the accepted sacred concepts.


However, the problem is that your ego-self is rarely at peace and defines itself specifically through conflict. It grits and grinds against its experience of reality as if that experience were actually opposing it. Why would an ego-self construct experiences that seem to be against itself? Why else would it engage in the conflict of adopting a spiritual path (often grueling) if not to acquire (get) a complete cessation of conflict?

Ahh… but are conflict experiences really counter to the ego or do they in fact give it a sense of 'real' existence?

Who would “you” be without conflict? The ego-self constructs dualistic experiences for which to know itself as separately engaged in its 'world.' What would life be like without problems to solve, justified battles to wage or obstacles to overcome? Doesn’t life often seem like nothing more than a series of problem-solving events? What are you competing for in all the ego-games you play? Through what rewards and outcomes do you define "happiness"?

If your ‘self’ experienced no conflict how would it know itself? Could you know your ‘self’ in Perfect Peace , totally and completely absent of all conflict? Could you experience a conflict-free world and still know your ‘self’?

To understand your ego-dynamics is to be at peace because you realize the "true nature" of the 'games' you play. The mind that is completely conflict-free is in perfect peace. Variable “happiness” is actually to experience, at varying degrees, reduced conflict and requires nothing external be acted upon to in order to achieve it. You need do nothing and it just may be all your relentless 'doing' that promotes experiences of continued conflict.

However, your ego-self knows itself through acting upon its experience of world. For an ego-self, not to be 'doing' is not to BE. Is it any wonder that "productivity" is worshiped as the means to "happiness."

Think of all the times you have felt truly "happy." Were they not times when conflict seemed no longer present in your experience? Win the Lotto million dollar jackpot and you will believe that "happiness" has finally been secured, because in that instant you will simply conceptualize your ‘self’ free of conflict (no doubt it will return along with the conflict that money inevitably brings). When you got that raise at work recall that, briefly, conflict dissolved. That new relationship or that new car or house seems to momentarily ease your conflicted mind. Are you happy you lost weight? Make no mistake, you believe you 'got' something valuable and all value in acquisition is nothing more than a belief that conflict has been resolved.

All your acquisitions serve to construct a conscious experience of momentary conflict alleviation. But, sadly, it never seems to last, because for an ego-self it MUST not last.

The ego-self must reject anything that demonstrates consistency since this would smack of an absolute. Note that the ego’s chief goal of ‘getting’ or acquisition allowed you to think that whatever you got solved your problems and in that moment conflict was gone. Yet, it only returns upon the realization that whatever you ‘got’ (ego-game rewards and outcomes) essentially solved nothing and frequently only brought more conflict.

Infinite players realize nothing needed be acquired for Perfect Peace to be realized. You need DO nothing. There is no such state of mind as “happiness” and seeking happiness is a hoax and a fraud that keeps you playing the ego-games of life in the hope of acquiring greater happiness. This allows no rest for your conflict weary mind.

Time to rest awhile….

What you seek is an absence of conflict and you can have that without even leaving your chair. A mind in perfect peace is an “enlightened” mind. To experience a complete and total absence of conflict is to be “awakened.” Isn’t this your “true nature”?

Nirvana is conflict free. Heaven is perfect peace. Perfect peace is perfect thought and this is attainable without the need for esoteric ideologies or austere practices.

Just recognize that conflict is a choice and choose differently in every moment.

Such an experience has nothing to do with an external world, but will radically alter everything you see. In fact, it’s available now, simply waiting to invigorate your experience of "self," if you could only be free of your conflict.

EGO DYNAMICS: Master Your Contextualized Experience

The ego-self is nothing more than a comprehensive and all-encompassing experience of the 'world' and the 'others' who seem to inhabit it.

It’s not “real’ in any absolute sense, except in the context of an ego-self demanding and contextualizing it as ‘real’ (I am assuming that you consider your ‘self’ real).

This experience of ‘reality’ is what the ancient wisdom traditions refer to as “illusion.” However, for centuries this reference has been rather inconsequential to the grand scheme of reality as the same experiences are compulsively repeated, on and on, ad nauseam. This is because the so-called “illusion” is contextualized by the ego-self (“you”) as a ‘reality’ that is deeply engaging and, therefore, is experienced as anything but illusory. This creates expectation as to the parameters of your experience. Consider how rarely your experiences deviate from your repertoire of expectation.

Teaching that your experience of reality is an “illusion” encourages disengaging from the richness of that experience because, as they teach, it is not ‘real’ but an “illusion.” Yet, the teachings essentially seek to aid you, because within this "illusion," that the ego-self contextualizes as “real,” comes a great deal of attendant suffering. Suffering that you experience as personal and as related to others and the world. Therefore, it would seem logical that the less engaged you are with the “illusion” of reality the less suffering you will experience. Anyone who claims that seeking "enlightenment" has nothing to do with an escape from suffering is fooling you and merely demonstrates that they are compromising with truth in their addiction to the ancient "enlightenment" agendas.

Nevertheless, the contradiction is that any reduction of suffering through disengaging merely further reinforces the experience of suffering as 'real.' Why else would you desperately seek a way out, if the suffering were not so vividly 'real'? From these ancient teachings, we have large pockets of the collective participating in 'insight practices' to aid in understanding this ancient teaching of illusory reality (maya).

But what drives them to seek an exit are the experiences of suffering that they have made real.

Note that to contextualize your experience of reality as "illusion" you must detach from it through practices that essentially seek to aid in attaining insight into the nature of reality as “illusion.” Once again, this engages you in a reinforcing circularity. Seek to understand it as illusion and you make it real simply through the desire to know it as not real or illusion.

However, what you may come to realize is that 'reality' is nothing more than experience (internal and external) that you have contextualized as 'real.' This does not deny your experience but puts it in the proper perspective.

Although the insight practitioners feel the outcome is worthwhile, the world is seemingly unaffected by these ancient esoteric wisdom teachings which attempt to countermand and essentially annihilate all your attempts at controlling your ‘reality.’

Control is anathema to the eastern religious ideologies. Yet, non-control is anathema to the ego-self.

This hypocrisy is unavoidable as you engage in practices that seek to inform you of the "illusion," yet still find yourself destitute due to the current "economic crisis." If you have a family to maintain, embracing the ideology that reality is an illusion does little to alleviate your fears for the future. Such fear can only obstruct your plans to attain some awakening insight into the actual nature of reality.

I would suggest that if you decide to invest belief in an illusional reality, get some good life insurance for your family. Thus, when you finally exit the 'world,' at least they will be protected. In addition, if you wish to follow the ancient teachings I would advise you to physically disengage from your family and the world at large and seek residence at a local monastery where you can, based on the teachings by others who supposedly disengaged, physically and mentally disengage with the world you so desperately seek to exit.

CONTROL VS NO-CONTROL

Or you may wish to consider that reality is nothing more than experience that you contextualize as ‘real" and that it has no other 'substance' or' form' other than what you project upon that experience. In so doing you can seek variable degrees of control to that experience and your meditative insight practices can be tailored to this effect simply because:

You are cause.

All religious-spiritual paths assert either ‘control’ or ‘non-control’ in the search for greater insight into your “true-nature.” Yet, both seek to change your current experience from one of suffering to one of bliss. The problem with 'non-control' is that it contradicts your current efforts at seeking control and thereby reducing suffering through various actions upon 'reality.' These actions serve to magnify and reinforce your further attempts to reduce suffering through acting upon your world.

Did you consolidate all your credit cards to reduce your debt? Problem solved. Did marriage therapy help save your eroding marriage? Problem solved. Did medical treatment alleviate your symptoms? problem solved. Did you apologize for your error? problem solved. Notice how your acting upon reality and seeking to control conditions contradicts the eastern teachings that “thoughts arise,” and experiences simply occur, so just forget about it, you have NO CONTROL.

"But wait, I just got a new better paying job, so how can I have no control?"

You cannot avoid feeling hypocritical in your attempts to control parts of reality, while engaged in practices that assert non-control of the whole. In altering physical reality, what you are acting upon is nothing more than your ‘experience’ of a world, since ‘reality’ is nothing more than experience and has no physical properties other than the contexts and concepts of the ego-self.

Surrender 'sensation' as conduit for experience and seek change at the source.

Your experiences are impermanent and therefore, extremely malleable, but only by attaining the deep insight of yourself as causative agent can you 'act' upon your experience in knowing that the ego-self is causative agent of all your experiences.

However, the rub is that the ego-self employs the parameters of past experience to engage with future experiences of ‘self’ and ‘world’ and this speaks to the adage that “there is nothing new under the sun.” Therefore, the only way to engage with any changed experience of ‘reality’ is to disengage from past experience as that which informs the ego as to what can be expected in the future.

You may contend that you often engage with experiences that seems wholly unexpected. Yet, I would respond that every experience you have ever encountered is completely predictable and not unknown to an ego-self that only realizes itself through ever-changing experiences within the realm of expectation (death is the only experience the ego-self cannot predict, yet it does vigilantly prepare through various means for that end).

However, if past experience is composed primarily of denying ‘self’ as cause, why would that not continue to be the primary factor in all future experiences? In fact, discarding expectation built on past experience will eventually culminate in the most unexpected and surprising experience that could ever be constructed.

That of God.

You may ignore this theoretical proposition as patently absurd. However, keep in mind that what you consciously ignore now is solely based on expectation from past experience. The past informs what can be currently accepted as conventionally “real’ in this present moment. The ego-self allows nothing more than what it expects and prepares for and this severely limits what can be experienced now. Unfortunately, you will not resolve your experience of suffering by employing the same experiences that caused the suffering in the first place. You will need to leap beyond what you know and experience beyond the boundaries of everything you have ever been taught to experience as 'real.'

Nevertheless, what all the ancient masters teach is that eventually you will understand reality as nothing more than your self-constructed experience of a reality that essentially does not exist, except as an experience in your mind.

Master the dynamics of the ego-self and master your experience of reality.

Good Luck With That!