The Betrayal of False Choices

You complain about how tired you are of all the pain and suffering.

Yet, obviously, you are not yet tired enough to end it and, make no mistake, the end of suffering is entirely your choice. The only purpose of free-will is to end your suffering. But what you WILL is to suffer and so, you do NOT yet experience a free-will (although we like to blah,blah, blah about how free we are). Your WILL is anything, but free. But this is how you CHOOSE to experience it and NOT how it is in truth. You don’t have a clue how it is in truth, because you don’t have truth. What you have are…

…choices.

And you think more choices prove how FREE you are.

When you are truly “tired,” in the recognition that you have never been free, only then will you experience freedom. Until then, you will continue to seek to control the victimization that an imprisoned WILL must experience, because it is NOT free and must make choices that an imprisoned WILL must defend as true.

And any WILL that gets its power from making choices is clearly a victim of its own egocentricity. If you wish to know “The Way” or “The Tao,” etcetera, etcetera, or if you wish to experience “Buddha Mind” or “Christ Consciousness” or any of the other labels pointing to infinite freedom, then simply make contact with your inherent, God given, WILL. You’ll know you got it when you simply no longer have a need to make choices.

Every ounce of pain you experience is entirely of your WILL to experience. Therefore, as First Cause, it is entirely of your WILL to break the shackles of your own head games and get FREE. This is your choice and it is the ONLY choice you need make to be free. ALL other choices merely reflect the choice to suffer through the need to make choices.

There is only one choice needed to end all choices. But you love making all the choices that delude you into believing your free…”menthol or regular, filter or non-filter, king size or medium, hard or soft pack, etc, etc, etc. It’s YOUR choice. Hahaa!

Therefore, the question you need to ask your ‘self’ is…"when will I finally get tired of choosing?” Contrary to your claim of being tired, if you still suffer then you have not yet fully exhausted your choice TO suffer. This means you require further suffering and you have to wonder WHY you would always want to choose that. But, if this is what you choose, then why complain about the suffering experienced by your choice? Go ahead and suffer gladly!

Oh, but you contend you have NO choice in making choices and you simply cannot dissolve the suffering that is inherent to this form of existing. You are human and humans suffer and so, must make choices, ad infinitum (funny how you don’t choose birth or death, but you damn well better make good choices in between the two).

And through the alibi of inherent human suffering you have made your choice to choose. Your reasoning and logic is simply an alibi for which to support your choice…to suffer through choices.

However, a choice that requires defending cannot be TRUE, because TRUTH requires NO defense. 

Therefore, anything you must defend reflects a choice you make that is opposite TRUTH.

Anything that is not TRUE, must ALWAYS betray you, but only because what is not TRUE requires defense and anything that requires defense can be destroyed, otherwise, why would it need defense? When you claim a “truth” for yourself, you must then defend it, because you know it can be smashed to smithereens. Why defend that which must eventually fail you by the very nature of its being false? This has been the nature of your existence.

Defending the false against the false.

Eventually, however, it becomes readily apparent to you that what you defend does not serve you and this includes every choice you make and defend as the "truth." You are constantly betrayed by your own choices, until the moment you no longer choose to make choices you must defend. If you continue to make false choices, you will continue to be “tired” of the betrayal that must accompany defense of what is NOT TRUE.

You do NOT know the TRUTH. You only know only the betrayal of false choices, but you keep hoping that just one of your numerous choices will one day be the right choice. “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do” is the most profound TRUTH of your existence and clearly emphasizes the suffering inherent to the false choices that have been made for centuries and must only support and emphasize continued false choices. Just look at the absurd choices being made in the world right now, by so-called “smart” people.

So how do you make choices that reflect truth?

YOU CAN’T. Because TRUTH cannot be reflected. It is or it is NOT. To say that you “tasted” or “glimpsed” the truth epitomizes the game of egocentricity. The false choice requires some situations be a reflection of TRUTH, but not others and this is why it must eventually, and always, betray you. Realize that NOT one choice you make reflects TRUTH in anyway. Recognize that there is no preparation you could choose to locate the truth, because ALL your preparation for truth are merely choices designed to FAIL and you will experience betrayal when your “truth” fails as it always has and always MUST.

When nothing else matters, the TRUTH will not shock or terrify. But when so much in your life is more important, then TRUTH must be rejected since, only through TRUTH,  will “you” learn that all your important fixations have never amounted to a hill of beans. It might suck a little when every choice you have ever made was a useless choice. But not to worry, you’ll NEVER make another useless choice again. Ha!

 Choose NOT to choose, because "you" don't have a clue. Your absolute lack of preparation and choice is what prepares you for awakening to TRUTH. Truth cannot be predicted by an ego fixated on all its wonderful CHOICES. But the ego is always the defender of the fully prepared mind and insists you closely follow its recommendations and choose ONLY from that menu. All preparation only fixates you on egocentric outcomes and rewards and there is no TRUTH in that and never has been. Only continued betrayal by the choices ALL egos love to make. You think having choices means you are free, when it only proves…

…you’re locked away in a prison of your own mind.

 Artwork by Mickey Me - "Seeking Immortality"

Egocentric Honesty Is A Complete Lie

Honesty is valued in the world and because of that it is completely absent and has been since your perceived your ‘self’ IN a world. And if that world is a lie, what does that say about the ‘self’ that believes it exists IN a world?

An ego-self does not have the slightest capacity to be honest, because it is a fabricated construct. How could what has no idea what IT IS ever be honest about anything?

Obviously, this means that every egocentric belief and every individual thought is a complete…LIE. And every thought or belief must be a lie, because “you” think IT. Therefore, “you” are a pathological liar. But you’ve really had NO choice, so don’t sweat your pathology.

In fact, for you to ever have an honest thought in your head would immediately spell your DOOM. 

At least, it would predicate the complete and total annihilation of the ego-self you THINK “you” ARE. All it would take is for you to have one single honest thought, one TRUE idea, and the ego would immediately be smote to ashes and NO MORE.

This is why egos don’t like TRUTH and avoid it at all costs. Oh sure, “you” THINK truth is important and “you” strive to be honest. But, take a good hard look at your world. What IN IT is true?

There simply is no such thing as TRUTH in a world as perceived by an ego-self. The ego-self has no real idea what IT IS and, therefore, fabricates grand narratives (stories) which seem to give it a sense of permanence and consistency. Your developed “personality” is an egocentric head trip to make your ‘self’ seem REAL, but it has no legitimacy whatsoever, because you made it up from shards of a non-existent past. You could change your personality each and every day, but that would only prove your ego-self is a complete fabrication. Therefore, you cling desperately to your “personality” as if it were really YOU, because without the personality you made up, you would cease to exist. Try NOT having a personality for a day and see.

Of course, this puts “you” in a no-win situation, because to have an honest thought would be the end of you, therefore, your only choice is to live a lie or cease to exist. Ego’s are expert at living through lies and do it almost without a thought, every day…every moment in fact.

So is there a way you could live without being a liar?

Nope, "you" are destined to lie. In fact, I’m lying right now!

Best you can do is recognize that everything that comes out your pie-hole is conjured up in order for the ego-self to prove it exists.

This is why Infinite Players fail to take their lies seriously and love to play around with "truth," which is a serious violation of the game for finite players. Finite players believe their lies, and play as if the outcomes resulting from being a real “personality” were of value. But how can any rewards achieved by a fabricated ‘self’ ever be of any real value? And if your ‘self’ is a pathological liar, how can anything the ‘self’ desires be anything less than completely false?

So think of something that is NOT a lie. That you have a body? Lie! You experience having a body, but it may be nothing more than a ham sandwich for all you know, since your experience of the "body" is of the mind. That the world is round? Again….lie. Although this could be considered a “supporting lie,” since it helps to reinforce time/space coordinates, which helps you to lie about being a "body" pressed down into a "world" (once again, “where” are you ever, but in your mind?).

However, you can continue to apply profound meaning to your lies, call them “truth” and speak “honestly” about them. But why bother?

So go ahead and have a laugh whenever anything comes out your mouth that you THINK is profoundly honest and true and stop taking your 'self' so damn seriously.


Artwork by Reality Must Die - "Persistence of Silence" 

An Invitation To Truth

M: This is driving me crazy. I’ve no idea what will happen next.

J: Insane expectations, by their very nature, demand insane experiences, which are worthless and of NO value. "What will happen next,” is also based on your expectations, unless you decide to invite TRUTH.

Until then, you will always get what you expect.

M: I didn’t expect any of this. This took me completely by surprise.

J: It must have been expected; else it could NOT have been experienced. You have yet to truly experience “surprise.” However, when you do, it will mean that you have discarded your expectations, thereby, declaring an end to CONTROL and extending an invitation to TRUTH.

Not one experience you have ever encountered has been free of YOUR expectations, based on the chronic preparation that comes from your incessant need to predict YOUR future. Hence, not one experience you have ever encountered is TRUE. Truth, by its very nature, does NOT conform to expectation. Contrary to all the many ways your “world” seeks to prepare you to expect it, TRUTH cannot be prepared for, which means YOU need do nothing.

M: The truth of this situation is that my marriage is ending.

J: Delusion has NO beginning and what has no beginning can have no “ending.”

Love contained and limited by delusional boundaries, may have value in a delusional world, but how can a delusional “world” be TRUE? And can your "love" then be true if nothing else is? What does NOT invite Truth has NO value and serves no purpose in “time.”

Delusion, by its very nature, is not REAL. But there is still time to realize this, since the delusion of time exists until TRUTH is invited. Although you deny this as fact, such is the purpose YOU have given to “time.” It has no other reason to exist, but to make its existence obsolete. You made it REAL for this purpose alone. God does NOT know “time.”

M: Unfortunately, there is no time left.

J: How can one who knows NOT what time is for, accurately evaluate how much is “left”? You have yet to use time for its intended purpose. To do so will obviously result in time diminishing as eternity enters to take its place. Time must naturally collapse upon itself, when eternity unfolds in awareness. There will come a “time” when eternity is ALL you realize and time will be no more. The idea that “time waits for no man” is an obvious fallacy. For, indeed, time waits for YOU, because time is a construct of a mind encumbered by limitations that result in finite delusions. You are infinite ,as am I, and I assure you my brother, although your delusions make you feel hopelessly alone, we are in this TOGETHER. I will guide you to the others that wait for you.

However, this means that time is at your disposal, since you demand it, and only you will eventually dispose of it completely.

Dispose of your purpose for this relationship and every relationship and you are, thereby, using time for its intended purpose. Without the meanings you apply to your world, through which time is experienced, time can no longer contain you because you have no reference point from which it can be encountered. Without your meanings, “time” simply cannot be experienced.  Let go of every meaning you have for every relationship you experience and use time to your advantage.

M: I’m pretty well forced to let go of my meaning for this marriage. I have no choice in that and I suppose that’s the problem.

J: You feel betrayed because your meaning is rejected. Yet, although it was reliable, and you remained loyal to it for many years, you still must determine if it was valid. To rely on that which is invalid is insane and this is why you currently feel that what you experience is “driving me crazy.” As long as you remain fixated on your expectations, or invalid meanings, your expectations will determine your state of mind and that will always reflect insanity. Free-will allows you a “choice” in this. You always have a choice.

M: If she wants out, then I have NO choice in that.

J:  You chose it. This may not seem valid to you at present, because you are so incredibly short-sighted, but make no mistake, all that you experience has been chosen by YOU. If you could see as I see, you would know that your delusional “life “is but a brief insignificant moment in time, simply because time does not exist.

Therefore, what seems to be a series of choices, has always been the same choice. The choice to deny TRUTH. A choice that seems to be made over and over again, but was really only made ONCE. Now, all that is required is that you choose differently.

M: But how does this pertain to my situation?

J: This “situation" only requires Truth. Invite TRUTH to come and suffer no more from what “time” seems to bring.

M: But how do I invite truth?

J: Fully understand that you have NO idea what IT is. No more than this is necessary to finally understand IT and apply that understanding to every “situation” you experience.

When you think you “know,” you then feel obligated to apply this meaning to the meaningless, always ignorant of the fact that this is what made it meaningless in the first place. 

Be still and allow me to show you what it means, because “I am the way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the father except through me.” 

Extracted from LifeAttract.com

Real or Illusion? (it makes NO “difference”)

You have so many things to take care of in your life. In fact, you often feel overwhelmed by too many problems and worries. But if you resist truth, existence must always seem overwhelming as you remain victim to one ‘problem"’ after another.

Truth cares little for what you ‘do’ and, because of that, is always IN everything you do and when you are certain of this, what you do will reflect that fact and be true for YOU as well.

But you’ve got a kids, work, bills, etc, etc. How can you ever expect to be aware of truth when life pulls you in so many directions?

Yet, why seek to make truth absent to specific circumstances? All your resistance come from the need to differentiate between levels of truth. The ego struggles to judge what is true as opposed to what is NOT true, beautiful as opposed to ugly, innocent as opposed to guilty, etc, etc, etc. Differences between the starving child of Ethiopia and the billionaire in Manhattan must be perceived by the ego in order to assert itself into its experience of a ‘world.’

Yet, truth has no levels and NO differences, because it includes NO opposing contrasts and attaches to NO specific circumstances or conditions. There is truth in everything you do, if only YOU didn't need to perceive ‘differences.’ Otherwise, you will only continue to seek out the differences and fail to realize the certainty of truth.

All experiences are true. Yet, because the ego requires truth be what it determines, it judges truth as absent in some circumstances, while present in others. Truth does not conform to egocentric expectations and therefore, is never absent when you choose, nor is it present by choice.

Thankfully, you have nothing to do with it.

However, many religions and philosophies teach you that the world is “illusion.” This obviously invites the individual egocentric ‘self’ to make determinations based on past experience (since the ego-self is entirely composed of past experience) in order to press itself INTO its experience of a “world.”

Yet, if every experience is true, your seeking differences demonstrates that you have determined otherwise and will subsequently continue to differentiate between true and false experiences. Truth is easy to understand and does not require learning. However, although your lack of understanding does NOT change Truth, YOU require it be learned and so, YOU have yet to understand it and this is why it makes no difference to the ego whether or not the world is all REAL or all ILLUSION.

Truth is certain. If it were not, it could not be true. Certainty places all the ego’s plans in jeopardy, because if ALL is certain, then everything the ego does makes NO difference TO that certainty. This invokes fear for an ego requiring the world remain uncertain, because the ego’s experience of itself is manufactured entirely from uncertainty. An ego convinced of certainty could NOT exist. Your world is a product of uncertainty, but because truth is certain, an uncertain world could NEVER exist.

Make no mistake, everything you DO is as certain as what is NOT done. Every action, every thought, every feeling, every mood that seems to spontaneously lift you up or press down upon you, is as certain as your reading these words in this very moment.


But you believe there is no certainty. You could die on your way home from work today. You can’t predict the future and that’s the only way you could be certain of anything.

An uncertain world can be seen through truth, which would naturally dissolve all uncertainty and doubt. Actually, YOU CAN predict the future and YOU HAVE. Yet, you have predicted it to be uncertain and so IT IS. Yet, how could any predictions, divorced from truth, be valid? What you expect from uncertainty is NOT True and what is NOT True could never be real.

You could experience yourself dying in a car accident. But this does not make it true except to perception that SEES differences through uncertainty. You believe in the products of uncertainty and this is what you experience because perception always FOLLOWS belief.

Yet, you protest, “Wait a minute! First you say all my experiences are true and then you say that my experiences from uncertainty are not true. Which is it?

You have NO experiences from uncertainty, although you believe you do. However, such belief does not make it true. You believe you can have experiences from uncertainty, but this is impossible, since uncertainty does NOT exist. Every experience you have is true, yet, only BECAUSE uncertainty does NOT exist.

Behind all your uncertainty and doubt is the certainty inherent to your experience of Being and fortunately for “you,” nothing is free of that and, therefore, everything IS free. Engage your world from certainty and naturally reformulate your perception completely free of all fear.

It is your uncertainty that demands that you control conditions arising from ‘chance.’ Engage your world from certainty and be free of the need to control the very conditions you impose. Everything is certain and you need control nothing.

You believe “free-will” allows you more control and more choices. This misinterpretation of free-will has led to centuries of suffering. Only when control is no longer needed is your WILL free. Yet, as long as you feel you must control the conditions that arise from uncertainty and doubt, you will always believe your are victim to the world. This is simply not true and I recommend you conduct your life as if it were false.


Artwork by Eli Tiunine - "Shizophrenie"

The Ego’s “Rules of Awakening”

The ego-self has imposed rules to all your experiences and the first rule is that rules must NOT be rescinded, changed or ignored.

These rules, or laws, are nothing more than ‘rules of perception’ and they limit WHAT you perceive, because they restrict HOW you perceive. The rules of perception are experienced as “truth,” but are nothing more than false compromises with truth in order to gain greater comfort through spiritualized concepts of "truth."

Truth changes perception. Perception does NOT change truth.

The ego NEEDS to ‘exist’ and it will coddle and appease the mind by constructing unusual or “mystical” experiences and insist that such states of mind are “truth," as long as "existence" is insured.

For centuries individuals have experienced mystical states, then provided interpretations (egocentric) and often became revered as “masters of wisdom.” These ‘false compromises’ pervade modern life and continue to be defined as “truth.” Yet, they are nothing more than rules of perception that serve to compromise truth.

One compromise the ego makes is that you can awaken to truth and still remain a body.

Obviously, this is absurd, since the body dies and truth is infinite. But the ego must make such a compromise in order to maintain and reinforce existence. Therefore, anyone claiming enlightenment, but still acting in accord with a body (death) may have awakened to a mystical state, but certainly NOT truth. Why would an ego dissolved by truth, continue to demonstrate that sickness and death are true (which is what an ego believes as true)? Truth does not die or suffer and to perceive sickness and death is certainly not true and most likely a false egocentric rule of perception.

Truth changes everything.

Another compromise the ego makes is that, for “you” to awaken to truth the world need not change at all.

Although “you” have achieved your coveted reward of “awakening,” your perception still reveals a suffering world full of death and destruction. As if truth was made for you and you alone. A general guideline might be that, if you believe you have awakened to truth, but when you open your eyes and still see a world of death, then most likely your truth is nothing more than an egocentric rule of perception (camouflaged as a "mystical state").

Truth changes everything. NOT just parts of the whole, but the whole shebang.

Obviously, truth does NOT compromise with itself in order to make egos comfortable with what they perceive. You cannot look for truth, but you can perceive through truth, which literally changes what is perceived. If what you perceive before “awakening” is what you perceive after, then most likely you are perceiving through the ego, which adores and idolizes its relative versions of “truth,” which are nothing more than false compromises with truth.

Truth is the only ‘all or nothing’ game and the ego’s rules do not apply. Either we all win (know truth) or we all continue to perceive loss. It’s time to see the compromises for what they are, merely rules of perception. Even though it’s taken centuries to get to this point, it’s now time to finally declare that the emperor has NO clothes. No one knows truth until ALL do and when that happens, it will literally change everything...

…for everyone.

This is what you need to awaken to, because it is the means of transcending the ego’s “truth.”


Artwork by Michael Cheval - "Windmill of the Time

Compromising with Bullshit

This is a follow-up from my March 4 post “Do You Resonate with Bullshit,” because “bullshit” is a fascinating spiritual concept (except to the spiritually inclined).

That’s because the ego-self (“you”) knows itself by “actualizing” through bullshit. Self-actualization is a process you participate in all the time. From moment to moment, the ego is constantly seeking for ways to engage the world in order to increase and magnify itself in contrast and comparison to its experience of a world.


This requires the ego make compromises in order to continue self-fabrication with what is obviously a fucking absurd world. When you fully examine your conventional beliefs, which serve to normalize the experience of an absurd world, you will no doubt recognize the abject meaningless of everything you do (unless, of course, you'd rather not).

Everybody has had, at one time or another, an experience that the world is not quite right (why else would you be looking for “truth” outside the world or somehow separate from what you currently experience as a 'world'?)

Yet, the reason this is so extremely difficult for an ego to contemplate, for any length of time, is because the ego compromises with insanity in order to know itself. Realizing your experience of a world’s is obviously absurd, is understanding that the ego is obviously absurd (“you” are obviously absurd), and really…

….who wants to admit that? Not me…Hahaa!

Who wants to admit with full acceptance that all the absurd things you do, like going to work, watching TV, talking on the phone, taking Viagra, doing laundry, getting a “suntan,” sitting in a “recliner,” blogging on the internet, masturbating, sending Christmas cards, “grocery shopping,” paying a “mortgage,” washing your car, meditating, getting a “paycheck,” disciplining your children, getting a college degree, going vegan, wearing pajamas, going on “vacation,” praying to God, painting your “living room,” eating potato chips, driving in “traffic,” etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, on and on, ad nauseam…who wants to admit it’s all bullshit?


Hence, it's imperative that the ego-self make compromises with insanity in order to normalize the bullshit. How else would it actualize if NOT through bullshit? How else would you know your ‘self’ if not through bullshit? What would become of “you” if one day you were to realize, with stark immediacy and full apprehension, that every fucking thing you do, have done and will do…is, has been and will always be…

…complete and utter bullshit?(oh wait..did you think some of it was 'meaningful'?)

And all the fanciful meanings you have distilled from what you were taught and thus, project upon the world in order to compromise with absurdity…. is still ludicrously absurd. Exclaiming "isn't life wonderful, weeeee..." or "God this shit sucks!" actually mean the same thing, just not to an ego intent on actualizing itself.


All those teachers of non-duality are completely wasting your time if you have yet to get to this point. All their concepts of luminous, non-conceptuality are as much bullshit as your investment portfolio and the size of your penis (or breasts). All their blathering is useless to you until you get to where it simply makes no difference, because there is NO reason for it.

Did I ever tell you the joke about the guy who had a non-dual experience on his yacht?
He drowned.

As I sit here in my paint-covered Speedo sandals and my ripped up sweats, with a crappy antique Dell laptop (that keeps shuttin’ down on me) and as I contemplate gettin’ up in the morning to go to work to get my paycheck, one thing comes to mind…

I doesn’t matter.

Does this mean you shouldn’t do all those things listed above? Of course not…

…don’t be ridiculous! 

Because the very act of “surrendering” the bullshit affirms that it is more than bullshit, which it's NOT, and never has been.

So go ahead, dive in.... because, when it doesn't matter…


…you can play infinitely!

Until then, bullshit is very serious indeed...

Artwork by DARK VOMIT - "Clown's Last Supper" 

Do You Resonate with Bullshit?

Gotta love the hopeful ones and all their catchy phrases and soulful slogans that make us all warm and fuzzy inside. They keep us from wasting time between birth and death. They keep providing purpose to live as if it were a "to-do" list. Just follow the instructions.

Too bad it's ALL bullshit. 

There is nothing here, because there was never anything there, particularly when you shake off all the pithy slogans and really look. The past holds nothing of value for the future and this makes the future as empty as the past...it’s null… nada… nil….nothing.

Oh wait…was there something you were looking for?

There's NO reason for "hope" because there's NO purpose to your existence and therefore nothing to hope for...there's NO reason for your being and you have NO friggin’ function.

Sorry...but you are pointless (always running around hither-dither seeking a point, Ha!)

Yet because this causes such a deep sense of suffering...you demand a script. You want to MEAN something and the world has the scripts to make that happen. You demand to know “The Secret” to increase your importance, something profound to define your 'self' by and feel all 'special.' 

You want to BE somebody, dammit!

Does your favorite guru have a script you can use to feel purposeful? Sure go ahead and play that out. How about Eckhart Tolle? Or maybe "Integral Theory" and Adi Da or why not Ken Wilber's script? Or Nisargadatta or maybe Longchenpa, Wei Wu Wei or Lao Tzu, Ramana Maharshi, Yogananda…. or maybe the Dalai Lama? What about Osho? He’s still got a great gig goin' on. Or maybe Wayne Dyer or Deepak Chopra, or Byron Katie or maybe just some anonymous Zen Guy's script? How about non-dualism? (man those cat’s can swing the conceptual shit, no foolin’!).

Wow, so many profound scripts to choose from! In fact, to hell with all those lightweights, lets go with the Buddhist script or how about Christ and the scripts somebody wrote for him?

And ahhhhhhh...once you got a firm grip on your script, and “know” your new purpose, for a while you feel grand… all snug up in your comfy beliefs. Now you got MEANING, Yo!! 

Now you can engage in your mind-numbing, mundane existence with that old time spiritual “joy", because you've found “The Way” to “The Truth.” Oh sure, you don’t have “The Truth” yet…and you’re still breathlessly following “The Way,”  but just wait. This time you “know” it’s a sure thing. 

Unfortunately, one day you will discover the truth that...

… it's all bullshit...

Maybe....when you give up all your grand plans and high ideals and all your profound meanings, maps, functions, paths and goals...when you finally kiss goodbye your space cadet "spirituality" and all your practices, methods, approaches, skills, techniques, strategies, and ideologies...maybe one day...

... you'll finally get it.

and until then, all you got is bullshit (to resonate with and call your own)

(but don’t ask me what “it” is, all I know is bullshit)

Artwork by Maya Kulenovic - “Untitled”

AWAKENING: A Product of Perfect Communication

Awakening is a transcendent communication that has nothing to do with God. 

Nor does it involve participation from any "Divine Consciousness," "Source Mind," "Universal Mind," or any other metaphoric concept connoting a supreme being or transcendental source.

The communication that we awaken to is perfect communication between ourselves, thereby, facilitating an experience we call God.

This is why awakening can never be an individual experience of truth. How could such an experience be available to 'individuals'? How could truth be transferable, or even identifiable, to parts (individuals) of the whole? Truth can be discovered together as a whole, when the choice to realize truth is not an individual preoccupation, but a joint enterprise of mutual exchange.

However, neither is truth available to minds communing in relationships conditioned by limits (parts interacting only on the surface from fear of depth) since perfect communication has no such limits and is not conditioned by parts. Perfect communication escapes the surface by exploring the depths of others in order to realize the depths of 'self.' Intimacy is our final frontier and until fearlessly explored by dissolving fear, we remain surface strangers, condemned to rely on our mutual ignorance, as opposed to combined genius.

Egocentric parts impose limits on the depth of mutual intimacy by presuming they know the truth outside relationship.

Because such “truth” is relative, communication between localized minds is limited. Limited communication conveys nothing at all (although the ego may interpret what is communicated as valuable to itself) and what is relatively valuable to an ego-self has NO value to communication and what has no value to communication communicates nothing and what communicates nothing remains ignorant.

“Thus, we see that communication between minds can occur because Consciousness is nonlocal, even though minds are separate and local. Nonlocal Consciousness connects minds together just as, in classical physics, classical fields connect objects together.

We know that individual minds (worlds) are highly correlated with each other because many of the same objects and events appear in different minds. Thus, both your body and mine may appear in my mind as well as in yours, but the images in my mind are different from those in yours, so the bodies are different. The way we know they are the same bodies is because of nonlocal communication between us."

"Nonlocal communication between minds is directly experienced as an interpersonal connection which transcends verbal communication. This is most clear whenever ego conflicts between minds are not so strong that they obscure the nonlocal connection. Such connections are clearest in many parental and filial relationships, sibling relationships, close personal relationships, support groups, therapy groups, and meditation groups." (Stanley Sobottka, University of Virginia, “Course in Consciousness” p103, see blog sidebar).

Communication is valuable when it engages in awakening to, and through, other minds. Such communication is perfect when minds communicate absent egocentric expectations, even though the decision to communicate originates from an agreement between two or more egos.

In the above quote Professor Sobottka accurately points out that non-egoic communication is more often available through the familiar significant relationships we all engage with in everyday 'reality.' However, often these relationships can become the most egocentrically obstructed relationships (consumed by fear and the need for self-protection) and it’s through these relationships that our ego-dynamics are exhibited in full fury. Yet, it is through these relationships that depth will be facilitated much more rapidly.

Nevertheless, individual mind control techniques or spiritual ideological practices are valuable when directed toward enhancing communication between individuals and not between some transcendent source or state. This means all practices and all spiritual paths should have this as the only goal, because it is from such “perfect communication” that individuals become catalyst to each others “awakening” to truth.

Most religio-spiritual ideologies and practices continue to advocate pursuit of communication with a transcendent source as the product of “perfect communication” and this is a major misinterpretation of the ancient texts. It may be true that perfect communication engages with a transcendent God-mind presence never before experienced, but an individual mind cannot of itself realize such an experience, simply because it believes it is an individual mind having an ‘individual’ experience. Only through a joining of minds can we access perfect communication between ourselves, thereby annihilating the self, which is a state of imperfect communication.

It makes little difference what ideology you choose to fully engage under, if full engagement is the focus. Even the non-dual religions are advantageous in supporting such engagement, even though most non-dual practitioners and advocates are hypnotized by the ideological concepts they seek to promote. They fail to see the goal of engagement as the point of all their ideological premises and become immured in, and occluded by, their non-dual concepts.

In fact, in full engagement with others, ideologies fall away as unnecessary, because they only result in distracting comparisons, which impede the experience of intimate depth with another who relies on a different ideology or dogma and this promotes exclusion as opposed to full engagement.

You are weary of relationships because you have come to believe they are limited in the ability to enhance you. Therefore, you go off in search of your individual "enlightenment" or "awakening," discarding relationships as having any capacity to provide you truth and so you refuse to recognize how you have applied limits and that all limits are yours. Perfect communication between ‘individuals’ dissolves individuality as an obstacle to awakening. A moment of perfect communication is NOW and has no past or future to impair its affects. Perfect communication applies to both the receiving and transmitting, as they become an exchange of ONE.

It takes only two minds to realize that a communion of all minds is the ONE reality, because it creates that reality. Individuality impedes the willingness to open channels of communication, long since closed off. This is a chief priority, because your individuality is your only obstacle …to God.

Artwork by A. Andrew Gonzalez - "Saltatus Aeternum"

The Reality of IT ALL is that IT's ALL a Lie and that's the Truth, so help me God

“Yet I also sense a great fear of honesty, as if we don't really want to know how bad it is. On one level, this is understandable. Many of us sense something is terribly wrong, but like people who sense they might have cancer, we don't go to the doctor to receive the diagnosis: we react with denial and magical thinking, thus dooming our chances of recovery. I see plentiful evidence that honesty is extremely threatening to the status quo.”
Your ego-self is a liar by nature, but you like it that way because, as Jack Nicholson proclaimed, “You can’t handle the truth!” However, your world is certainly “real” and you count on that always being the case.

Yet, the question remains… is it true?
The above quote is from Charles Hugh Smith's article entitled When Honesty Becomes Threatening (OfTwoMinds) and addresses the dishonesty occurring with the current financial collapse and government’s deceit and misrepresentation. The article highlights the point that we all have a general fear of honesty. However, I would add that this fear is evident not only in the macro-world, but in our tiny personal micro-worlds as well.

If honesty is absent, then trust must also become extinct and this is how civilizations crumble, and individuals die alone.

A labyrinth of incomprehensible complexity allows you to hide your 'self' within the seemingly infinite folds of confusion and misunderstanding.

Come out, come out, wherever you are….
The truth may prove that it’s all very simple, but we’re not ready for the simple truth, because the ego-self is a composite of intricately complex lies and subterfuge. Perfect honesty would dissolve the self-construct, and then who would “you” be?

The fact is the collective ego must defend against honesty, otherwise the truth might be exposed and that'd ruin everything. Deception breeds conflict and conflict makes for war. Honesty dissolves conflict immediately, but this causes vulnerability and egos hate to be vulnerable (that's why they have bumper stickers on their pickups that say "No Fear")

So everything is beautiful and Walmart's prices are unbeatable! (what else do you need?!)

Your ego thrives on hiding from truth and consciousness is a perfect place to hide cause there’s nobody there but "you" (which seems "real" enough, but is it true). Actually, truth is your greatest fear and you will do anything to avoid it (why else would you watch "American Idol" if not to avoid truth?).

You feel cursed by truth, but proclaim it’s needed. You experience a world always in need of consistent truth that, ironically, changes incessantly. Has the world ever NOT conformed to this “truth”? So, what has been your reward for all the “truth” you’ve endured?

What you really desire are more lies. So, keep ‘em coming, yo!
The egoic self-construct does not provide you any consistency whatsoever and therefore, it cannot be trusted. You must always maintain a safe distance from your ‘self’ because, as much as you try, you cannot predict with any degree of accuracy how it will respond to what the next moment brings. As much as you seek to contain and regulate your ego-self, it often seems to break from your grasp and bring you discouragement and disappointment. Better to trust in the lies that everyone else believes, because there's safety in numbers.

You do not trust your "self" to deeply engage with your world and so the world must always be misrepresented because how can you know what you cannot engage? If your ‘world’ is experienced within “you," how can you trust the ‘world’ if you can’t trust yourself? Therefore, you wait for the world, while the world waits for you, and always, both demand truth and circumstances continue to demonstrate this fact by constantly changing.

When will “truth” meet your criteria? When will it bring the consistent happiness you so deeply desire?
In NOT accepting the “self," you define its “truth” and this defines your limits. Your ‘self' is a product of your mind and exists nowhere else IN time or space, but it was constructed to deceive you about time and space.

You have never truly felt welcome in the "me” you call home. Therefore, you have exiled your “self" to a place where growth eventually must end in death and where “happiness” is endlessly sought, but never found. You are a “stranger in a strange world” and this feeling of dissociation attends your every waking moment (even your dreams are not "true").

You will never trust your ‘self,’ simply because you do not trust others. You live in a complicated world of strangeness and this makes you a stranger to 'them' and your ‘self.’ With all your strength, you have resisted honestly asking “who is this beside me,” because when the question is asked, without the slightest doubt of an answer, the answer will be instantaneous and fill you with complete understanding. Until then, you cannot possibly KNOW your ‘self’ and therefore, you will continue to lie to yourself and the world must always reflect that inner experience, since dishonesty ‘within,' breeds deception ‘out there.’

Until then, lies and subterfuge will become even more complex, incomprehensible and common place and soon you won’t know what to believe, because everything is nothing more than a manufactured mirage.

But just think how happy you'll be... believing in nothing.

More Egoic 'Do-Do' from the Enlightened Master of Bullshit

The question respectfully posed is “Out of curiosity, is there a goal attached to dispelling all indoctrinated conditioning and beliefs? What would the world be like, in your opinion?”

Obviously, to an ego-self writing these essays, a goal is assumed, no matter how mightily the writer may wish to assert being goal-free or egoless. Every post on this ‘blog’ has some degree of conditioned belief due to the very fact that “I” am conveying some sense of meaning to “you,” which must always rely on what was learned from the past, since that’s “where” I come from (as do you).

Therefore, I could never convey any sense of "The Unconditioned" (serious stuff), other than to say that it will be a delightful 'surprise' beyond anything you or I could possibly conceive (obviously, since all conceived is conditioned). But, alas, my friends, even that expression is conditioned from the past and should be blatantly ignored.

There have been many reports of breaks with reality or the “reality orientation model” that we seek to be free of. Unfortunately, these are conventionally interpreted (through that same model) as insanity or “enlightenment.” We disregard insanity, yet, you will find such "enlightenment" interpretations all throughout the internet, usually beginning with “because Buddha said….”

Most of the spiritual 'doers' teach you to “discipline” your thinking. Ha! Discipline?! As one who spent 6 years active, in the United States Marine Corps, discipline facilitates many types of thought processes, but “Awakening” is not one of them.

Nevertheless, notice how many modern masters rely on previous teachings, as if the past was in any way valuable. This is done in order to assert credibility (because only the credible can win finite “awakening” games), as if somebody named “Buddha” actually existed.

Buddha says: "Get down and give me twenty, maggot!”

So what would the world look like if there was no “truth”? This is because truth doesn’t exist until you make it up. It doesn’t ‘exist’ and has never existed and, therefore, it cannot be found and there’s nothing “you” can do to find it. Therefore, "truth" can be anything you want it to be...

... and it's always what you expect.

Whoa! I just lost 1000 readers! Damn, how will I ever make divine, superconscious, “master” grade, unless I can drum up the required credibility.

You demand techniques from ideologies and I come along to inform that it’s all friggin’ bullshit (which negates my credibility and any chances of attaining the coveted title of 'awakened"). All of it and, yes, even this, is bullshit. In fact, in contrast to your "Enlightened Master," I’m the "Master of Bullshit" so ignore all the 'do-do' I prescribe.

You (ego-self) need to ‘know’ the facts and so you seek out the proprietors of truth who specifically delineate a prescribed “path” or a ‘way’ that always involves ‘doing’ something and the ego must do-do all over the place in order to feel meaningful.

If you keep demanding this 'shit,' they will keep providing it.

This 'opinion' goes against the conventional pop-spirituality views and it is why this blog will soon be resigned to disintegration, simply because it deviates from the spiritual status-quo (I sense it is fading away even now). The ego demands a plan, but this blog asserts that there’s nothing “you” can do to find truth. Yet, only when “you” finish up all your ‘doing’ will you realize that nothing needed to be done. Isn’t it wonderful to “know” that “you” need do nothing to find truth, simply because there’s nothing you can do? But is that the “truth”?

Absolutely NOT!

Simply because that makes absolutely no sense to an ego-self determined to 'know.' So go ahead, homeboy, “crack that whip!” Make “truth” happen!

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back

When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it

Its not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets away
Until they whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late

To whip it
Whip it good

(Devo)

If It Makes You "Happy"! (then it can't be all that bad)

Does your “spirituality” make you “happy” because you believe it's “true”? Does your religious ideology include your death?

Death is probably the only aspect of life that we’re not too happy about. In fact, all religious ideologies have their origin in the fear of death. Just think, if you could never die, what could you ever worry about?

So what happens when the venerable “awakened master” dies? I love the neo-advaitist platitudes, “if you are not a body, then what dies,” as the exalted one scratches his illusionary butt (which seems to prove the body still has some control).

Well, I guess if it makes him happy…

It’s probably not a question of what you ARE or what you ARE NOT. Note the either/or paradox that even the priests of the non-dual struggle with. Of course, you are not a body AND you most certainly are a body. Duh!

Isn’t it great that you can have it both ways? Doesn't that make you happy?

So if awakening is such a big deal (happy, happy, bliss, bliss!) why are so many awakened ones dying from painful diseases like the rest of us miserable sinners? If awakening is about transcending the body, why is the exalted "master" riddled with cancer? Seems like the body won that bet!

But I thought he said he was NOT a body? So does that mean the body has taken on a life of its own, without the mind?

I guess whatever floats your boat…

What if the point is to realize that you ARE your body, your mind, thoughts, and yes, even your ego? And the fact that you keep trying NOT TO BE what you ARE, keeps you from being what you’re supposed to BE, which, of course, is what you are NOT? (Ha! Love this sheit!)

Sorry. I question everything because I don't "know" (and it makes me happy!). Some people no longer question, because they "know" and "knowing" makes them happy (and they go around "teaching" everybody else what they "know" and that make's 'em happy, too!)

The question is, how could so many have gotten it so wrong, for so long? (centuries, in fact). Worse than that, the blind still lead the blind! The spiritual materialists continue to righteously bypass what they see by denying it’s "there."

...because it makes them “happy” (and it's "true," yo!)

But hey, there’s nothing wrong with denial (we're experts at it) and I guess if it makes you "happy," then your righteous denial can’t be all that bad. I usually allow the "Non-dualists," and the avatars of "awakening," to be ‘right,’ because they can get downright ornery when they’re unhappy.

"If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad."

(Cheryl Crow)

The Audacity of "Knowing" Truth

Just admit it, you have no friggin' idea why you’re “here,” nor do you have any idea what your purpose is or what you should be doing.

Deep down you know this. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to stop you from attaching to all kinds of nutty religious schemes and ridiculous "spiritual" behaviors.

You still act as if you know what is needed to end your suffering and conduct your life as if this were true. Unfortunately, this “knowledge” has defined your suffering.

When you finally give up your self-identified purposes, you can stop identifying mine and I need not conceptualize a purpose for you. Therefore, neither of us remains confined to our self-imposed conceptual prison cell. We are then free to learn of one another unencumbered by the past. Until then, we will impose our imperatives upon one another and this will act as a wedge between us that will condition and define who we are to one another. Until then, we have the world as it is today and, most likely, will continue to be tomorrow.

Ego religiously attaches to the concepts of “knowledge” and therefore, we can only continue to define each other through ignorance. It really doesn’t matter what concepts you employ to define your ‘self,” even defining yourself through the concepts of "non-duality" (which seems a silly way to define oneself, but some seem to enjoy it).

Rather, it's how you define me that counts. How you see others is how you will define yourself, because the moment you locked them into concept, you sentenced your ‘self’ to conceptual bondage, because there is no division.

The only thing you are here to learn is that you don’t know who or what you are, so first, you must realize you do not know them? They are your 'salvation,' because in setting them free, you free yourself. Neither of us need be victim to the ‘world' and emancipation will occur when what the world teaches is no longer desired.

Consider the conditions of “knowledge” because ‘hell’ is conditioned by such “truth.” Pretending that you know a way out of hell, is to deny your conditions made it real. Trust that an exit strategy will materialize the moment you realize you don’t know the truth. When we both agree that we don’t know, then we can dissolve the conditions between us that we created by defining a purpose and conducting our lives based on that "truth."

To not “know” is a frightening prospect to the ego you have come to know as “you.” Can you conduct your life as if you have no idea what your purpose is? Can you give up your grand theories, your spiritual rules and your enlightened equations on the hereafter? Can you simply forget what the “awakened master” taught you? Can you burn the “Great Book”?

When you finally give up your notions of truth, you will be amazed at how audacious you were in deciding between pain and joy all those years, as if you actually knew the difference.

You can no more terminate or dissolve your ego-self, than you can dissolve the world, since both are mutually interdependent and indivisible. However, you can reinterpret your perceptions and, thereby, reinterpret your ‘world.’

The chaotic ego is fear dominated because it was fear produced. The peaceful self dissolves the fear of chaos by seeking peace in its relationships, because they are its ‘world.’ The peaceful self does not seek the guru in the world, but makes the world 'enlightened' and learning becomes a communal affair, simply because nobody “knows,” but together they can learn.

AWAKENING: Before and After?

I used to participate in social forum threads discussing spiritual subjects. Unfortunately I tend to piss off the serious ones, so I no longer hang out there. However, I do continue to read the discussions and today I came across this quote regarding ‘awakening’ experiences:

“This really brings up the 'readiness' question, big time. How can we survive an encounter with something so profound and contrary to our ordinary experience that we can hardly remember it when we 'wake up' from 'the dream.' the profound experience of awakening or “being exposed to your truth.”

If you experience awakening as a “profound experience,” and contrary to "ordinary experience," how can you be "awakened"? Would an 'awakened' mind differentiate between a profound and an ordinary state of mind? If you discriminate between a time of ‘awakening’ and a time of ‘not awakened,’ then are you not simply making an egoic interpretation rooted in time?

How can there be a 'before' and an 'after' to absolute truth?

The ego makes dualistic contrasts, such as before and after or ordinary and profound, and this is commensurate with its capacity and need to judge. More likely your "profound experience" is simply egoic mind hoping that the neurochemical imbalances, experienced from hours of meditative trance, are the Big Shebang. We have learned that for this 'awakening' to occur we need to cook our soup with many years of sacrificial practice, mixed with the stock of spiritual-religious ideology. This is the usual paradigm of awakening and we expect to be removed from ‘ordinary’ consciousness to a realm of ‘profound’ consciousness as reward for all our hard work. If you expect it, be assured your experience will be 'profound' but it will most likely not be any ego-free, timeless truth.

Notice the blatant dualism in the interpretation. This seems to be the time-trap that many aspirants fall into. As if there were a dualistic interpretation to what is what is true in all situations at all times. “Who” is it that makes the contrast between ordinary and awakened? Can I know myself as awakened and still remember (memory-time) myself as ordinary? Or does my ordinary self disappear to become a new profound self? Is there an integration or a transcendence or merely just a transformation?

Can I slim down my obese ego through the right spiritual diet?

ABSOLUTE TRUTH

But for absolute truth to be true, it must be absolutely true all the time, since there can be no such thing as part-time truth to what is absolute. So how can there be a “time” when truth is not true? Can absolute truth be 'ordinary' one moment and 'profound' the next?

Many would contend that truth is always true, yet we just don’t know it... yet.

But how could that be? For truth to be true, it must always be known as true, otherwise it’s not truth. For absolute truth to be true it must be known always and immediately and there can never be a time when it is not known. To say that there is a time when truth is not known, or that we are unaware of truth, is to deny such a thing as absolute truth. You can’t deny it, otherwise how could it be true. Absolute truth is true all the time, no matter what you do to deny it, since it can't be denied.

Notice how the serious spirtualists apply the paradigm of relative truth to what is absolute. There are many relative truths I may not be aware of, but I can never NOT be aware of absolute truth, otherwise it could not exist as absolute, which means 'true' in all circumstances, at all times. Therefore, the Many is as much an absolute truth as the One. So why do you only seek only the One by denying the Many?

“I once was lost, but now am found.” Obviously, you were never lost and there is nothing to find. So then, what are you looking for and who is looking? Is it the ordinary “you” seeking the new, improved and more profound “you”? Nope, its just “you.” There is no 'ordinary' before or 'profound' after.

I recall the neurochemical whiz-bangs I got, many years ago, after several days of 6 hour zazen and some robed 'master' slapping a whisk broom across my shoulders. Wow! That was no ordinary experience. In fact, I thought it was pretty damn “profound”! All I needed was the right ideology through which to make sense and that was spoon fed to me from the start.

Many would argue that the concepts used are merely "fingers pointing to the moon." Subsequently, I too, point to the moon, but only to inform that there is nothing to point to, because there is no moon (“Good night, moon”).

Of course, most folks don’t like me tinkerin’ with their profound experiences. Wouldn’t want the awakened ones to ever doubt their “truth.” However, if you really want “awakening” then let doubt be your guide and fill your mind. Because doubt is the absolute truth and you will never know a more profound and infinite experience. It must be, because you know it NOW and you will know it always. Doubt is one thing you will never be without.

When you no longer seek to be surprised by profound moments of truth, you will be surprised by the ordinary ones. Ooops, HA! Just had one there…Ooops, there goes another. Ah, what the heck, might as well keep it going!