Because it thought that even this was just another distraction.
But now the realization that none of it matters, that none of it ever mattered, is like a prizefighter shot to the gut. Some never recover and remain at the border, refusing to accept the guide.
They plummet into abject, utter loneliness and howl at nothing.
Very few ever cross over to the other side. But, once at the border, there is no turning back. There’s nothing to go back to once you get to the border.
There is a guide waiting. There's always a guide at the border. You just need to reach out, while letting go.
Fear of sacrifice keeps you at the border. Hold to one tiny strand and you'll remain there. Some have been there a lifetime or more.
The ego thought this was just another game. Just more rules to follow.
But then it dawns on you that this is it. This is where you're supposed to be.
At the border.
Many claim to have crossed over. They will even claim to be your guide.
There are no guides IN the world to help you cross the border.
But there's always a guide at the border.
I’m there now.
Been so for quite some time. There are others with me. I can see them.
Sometimes we look at each other, as if waiting to see who'll move first. One day we will cross. One day we'll be guided. One day, when we no longer feel the sacrifice.
Maybe we’ll all cross together.
Artwork by Fred Weidmann - "Evolution Without Goal"
A most interesting post. A touch melancholic, perhaps, but deeply interesting. I don't know as I have a direct response. It's deeply internal, somehow, this post. I have some gatekeeper image from antiquity in my head, but I know it is not that. I don't know. Maybe there is something to shamanism after all, but to find one who is the genuine article and not some actor (however self-deluded in sincerity), would be a daunting task.
ReplyDeleteThere is a story, I wish I could remember the authoress, but it is about the girl who lost her feeling one hour when she wasn't paying attention. She went on a long journey, a very melancholy journey, one might say, to reclaim the companionship of her feeling (which was inspiration, I think. Muse, passion, etc.) Well, you know she ran into tricksters and magicians and all sorts of hoo ha, but when she least expected it, there it was.
Anyway, I suppose the guide is deeper than one can actually reach out and touch...yet, it is reachable and just about touchable. I don't know if that makes any sense. I'm so tired of New Age speak that even if I felt it was a matter of soul, I'd reject the "within" connotation of that.
I think the internet is a sinister beast. The Hopi prophesied the great spider web that would wrap itself around the world in communication with the furthermost corner of each direction. And then there is the Web Bot, that can almost predict events through chatter. Most amazing. Anyway, I think the guide is anywhere but in this web...although, as is said, many shadows holding up mirrors do reside within its sticky labyrinth. That can be good, but it can also be an overload.
But one must beware the shadows. Sometimes they hold a two way mirror and if one is not careful, they will congratulate themselves for bringing you down in the guise of wisdom.
I have often longed for a mentor. Never found one. Now, I often wonder about the foolishness in ever having wished for one.
All you have is your friends. Guidance comes (or returns) in mysterious ways.
Sorry to babble.
Blessings,
Nahnni
Yes, I was sinking into an abyss when writing that. One episode of many.
ReplyDeleteI imagine the guide can only be in my head and once I sift through all the other voices, I hear the right one. Hard to discern though, above all the chatter.
"All you have is your friends. Guidance comes (or returns) in mysterious ways."
Indeed, it has been coming to me weirdly lately.
Thanks,
mikeS
I have the feeling once you realize you're at the border, you realize that you've in fact always been there.
ReplyDelete"I have the feeling once you realize you're at the border, you realize that you've in fact always been there."
ReplyDeleteYes, I believe you're right...
mikeS