The Egocentric Puppet

Time is empty. It has no substance and it cannot be experienced in and of itself.

Yet, the moment an experience is evaluated, time rises up to meet it.

Hence, time seems to be the process of experience, evaluation and response. You have an experience, you make an evaluation and you respond from that evaluation.

It seems to you that your day is nothing more than a process of evaluating good and bad experiences and within this process 'time' seems to unfold. If you made no evaluative judgements on your experiences, time would cease to be experienced and what is NOT experienced does NOT exist.

You believe you have an experience and then you provide a response based on your evaluation of that experience. You believe this is nothing more than a basic cause and effect equation.

You remember little of infancy except up to a point at which you then made evaluative interpretations of experience. And it was crucial that you remember your evaluations for future recall. Such is the formation of the egocentric existence.

You now know your evaluations by heart. You can evaluate reality with your eyes closed and two hands tied behind your back, as the responses unfold magically like clockwork. Every sensation is anticipated and prepared for and happens generally as expected within the parameters of chance.

Chance has very strict parameters. You know you can't flap your arms and fly, so there's no point of even preparing for that chance. But you do know that if you step off a 10 story ledge you will fall to your death and so, you'd never take that chance.

But what if this process was altered? What if 'evaluation' preceded experience? What if evaluations already made determined what was experienced?

Yet, you believe the world is dreaming and you are nothing more than a victim of that fantasy. The world is cause and "you" are its effect.

Yet, the world does not dream of your suffering. That's in your mind and no where else. It is exclusive to "you." If you are nothing but a puppet, then why suffer as you seem to? Why would a puppet suffer, knowing it is not real, but made by the world?

Therefore, the question has yet to be answered:

Did the world dream you up or did you dream up the world?

One answer leads to your liberation from the strings.

The other to your death (because you're already dead).


Artwork by George Grie - "Dreams of Flying"

Ego's Don't Evolve. They Die!

In these difficult times we are going through, you'll find many who claim that we are experiencing an "evolutionary growth spurt." This gives egocentricity comfort, as if to say, better things are yet to come as we engage in the process of "conscious evolution" Yea!!


Problem with this is that egos don't evolve...

...they die.

How can a self-concept ("I"), that includes a belief in 'death'...

...evolve?

That makes no fooking sense (but you believe it).


Of course, bodies seem to evolve. Intellect seems to evolve and scientific discovery evolves, etc, etc.


But the egocentric self simply dies. It may seem that the 'self' amasses greater "knowledge," thereby, inventing more ingenious techno-baubles to play with. But essentially egocentricity, and all the things egos desire and want, never ends. Egocentricity still seeks to control its experiences and make them conform to its egocentric schemes and plans. This has occured for centuries and will continue to occur unless and until...


...ego can TRANSCEND itself.


Yet, to transcend something is to leave it behind, extract it and jettison it out and away. Of course, this is hard for ego to do, because it likes itself so damn much (well, don't you?).


And so, egocentricity will continue to do what egocentricity has always done and always WILL do. This includes the grandiose notion that it is somehow "evolving" or becoming a better, more improved ego. Hence, egocentricity (the whole, not just the parts) will come up with more ingenious methods of "evolving" itself. It will continue to develop more expert self-development techniques all in the name of "evolution."


But it will continue to be ego and nothing more. Just a shinier and more compact package of beliefs to play with.

What egocentricity will need to do is transcend itself.

But, obviously, it's very difficult for an ego to transcend itself or leave itself behind by jettisoning itself out and away from itself.


Of course, to do that means you'd probably have to not give a sheit about it anymore. Like, not care what ego needs or wants, and what ego's ever gonna do that?


The great question of our times, if we ever wish to stop repeating the same horrific bullsheit ("man's inhumanity to man"), is not how do we evolve...


...but how do we transcend.


But, nevermind, "you" keep on "evolving" in your egocentricity and make note of all the new ways you can suffer being "you."


Make no mistake, egocentric evolution only means more innovative and ingenious ways...


...of suffering.

Isn't it time to transcend all that?
(and don't ask me how to do that, cause that's a question only an ego would ask and another ego would answer)


Artwork by ALMaNeGrA- "Parasite"

The Curse of Egocentric “Care”

It is impossible to understand TRUTH while continuing to maintain goals for your world. The mind does not cease from making the dream ”real.” The “world” unravels within you even when you believe your thoughts are insubstantial and have NO effect. Seeking to quiet the mind through meditation, while still attached to the chief substance of your “reality,” only reinforces sacrifice and sacrifice must always entail suffering because you believe you will LOSE.

Deprivation is the substance that makes up the dream and deprivation can only enlist the fear that demands CONTROL.

When your “care” for another is a direct product of fear, it serves only to magnify that which spawned it. Fear always seeks to CONTROL what it “cares” for and your constant vigilance toward controlling your world is utterly exhausting you.

When egocentricity seeks to apply control to its experiences, this informs the mind that the threat of LOSS is “real,” insuring the result will be experienced as you ask and LOSS will be real, but only in your mind.

What you ask for, you always receive. Make no mistake, what you CONTROL, as a result of “care,” you will LOSE, because you have insured this FACT by the very nature of your control. This is exactly how the “world” you experience is constructed. It makes no difference if the world is real or illusion. The ‘experience’ is always a conceptual construct encountered only in your mind and no where else "in the world."

Seeking to CONTROL the concepts of experience, demands victimization to the experience itself. You are ruled by concepts, but the concepts you made up.

If you are not increased by a “desire,” know that you have limited yourself by applying conditions that only inhibit freedom. You know very well the feelings that come from fear. But you have no experience of the joy inherent to the complete absence of fear. As long as you seek to control your fears, your fears can only multiply.

What in your life do you NOT seek to control?

Fear and control are in DIRECT relationship with one another. There is NEVER the one without the other. The more fear you experience, the more control you apply and the more control applied the more fear must naturally increase. You cannot break this cycle by addressing FEAR, simply because you fear everything (apparent by all your attempts at control). But you can give up control. Until fear is banished from your mind, choices must be made to control the dream from within it.

Controlling your inner experiences from outside the mind, merely asserts the experience’s control of YOU. 

There has never been a moment from which you corresponded with your world completely absent fear and you struggle to let go of control because your fear makes it necessary. In the dream of “you,” nothing is made to last. Even that which makes you “happy” is rigidly encased in the fear of dissolution and deprivation. Therefore, surrendering control is tantamount to “death,” because you equate “life” with ever greater control of your experience of a “world.”

Control demands ‘meaning,’ since you care not for what is meaningless. Hence, everything MUST have a meaning and from that meaning an experience of a "world" unfolds within you and you seek to control that experience.

How else do you define your “happiness” if not the complete control of your environment and everyone in it? You demand the “world” conform to your expectations and concepts. Those you care for must attempt to conform to your expectations else you will extract your “care” in an attempt to make them meaningless. But a meaningless void can NOT be and so you simply change the meaning from love to hate. You invent concepts to rationalize exclusion and banishment.

But the experience is IN you and never leaves you. Hence, you always abandon only your "self."

Those you claim to love become victims of your control, just as you become victim to them in a symbiotic state of mutual victimization, because love without fear is completely unattainable to egocentricity. It makes lame and ridiculous attempts to establish a foundation of joy, only to allow fear to destabilize the foundation until the entire building must crumble of its own oppressive weight.

The infinite drive to love unconditionally must always exist because it’s a super-conscious motivation, which simply means it is not available to conscious or subconscious egocentricity, which thinks in finite conditioned terms. But you cannot deny the drive, because the super-conscious is always more powerful as your Prime Directive and is the original motivation for everything you do. Even though that motivation must be diluted and stifled by what “you” add to the mix, it never leaves you. What you add is fear and the subsequent need for control.

But you long for love from the very core of your being.

Can you love without expectation? Does your love require specific modes of reciprocation? Do you expect a return on your investment? What outcomes do you demand? Must you protect from rejection? Does the past inform all your decisions on how to "care”?

Even the purity of maternal love is momentarily withheld when violation occurs and expectations remain unmet. The only consideration is what to control and how much. But control is never absent from the “love” of the solitary egocentric “self,”seeking to pursue happiness through control.

Your love is a game with rules for controlling the desired outcomes. If the outcomes are absent, egocentric “love” becomes fear and all subsequent decisions must in some way involve attack. You have experienced abandonment before and so you believe your protective mechanisms are crucial.

The only way you will ever release from fear is by understanding there is nothing to fear. The only way you will realize this FACT is by surrendering your control. The only way to surrender control is to dissociate completely from egocentric “care.” Egocentric “care” is a vicarious means of self-actualizing through the control of another under the guise of “love.”

To care for another egocentrically is to commit another to a form of bondage, in which your care for me is a gift requiring my gratitude in return. Not to reciprocate is to expect condemnation or, at the least, complete withdrawal. My failure to reciprocate as expected makes me guilty and all guilt demands punishment.

The ego-self simply constructs religions to justify this kind of sacrificial persecution. If “God” condemns than so must egocentricity and such is the egocentric “Word of God.”

Increase awareness of your egocentric conditions by recognizing the pain experienced when those conditions are unmet by another. Egocentric “care” is devoid of equality and notes failures and imbalances in the caring of another. Give to me in the expectation of my reciprocating equally on a future date and you have cursed not only me, but yourself, to the suffering of egocentric “care.”

The ego is constantly differentiating levels and degrees through comparisons. This is a subconscious motivation not even known to super-conscious mind. But it is chief mechanism of egocentricity for self-actualizing through the love and care of others.

Egocentricity is merely a tool employed to maintain a “Dream of Existence” as separate from the dreamer. Although its purposes seem myriad, this is really its only objective. Egocentric “care” is nothing more than one aspect of this denial, but it is pervasive in maintaining effective distance between the concept of “you” and the concept of “them.”

Till death do you part…

Artwork by Ken Keirns - "Fishing"