The Net Outcome of Your Gross Reality

"Consciousness (which is the only virtue) is only born when I cease to believe automatically in my own thoughts, my own opinions, my own beliefs. Consciousness only appears on the scene when I cease to believe in my own conditioning, in other words. But because I perceive my conditioning to be myself, this is the one thing I never do. Who would want to go against themselves? Who would want to stop believing in themselves? This doesn’t seem to make any sense – ‘believing in myself’ is supposed to be a good thing, after all…" CSGlobe

The sole purpose of egocentricity, similar to any other sentient species, is to survive. Hence, survival for egocentrics entails asserting control of the body to increase its odds. Effective bodily control includes controlling the reality through which the body seems to exist and function.

You exist in a perpetual contest between an egocentric conceptual “self” and a physical body. Egocentrics know they are not cause of the body but they do, with all their might, believe they are cause of a “self” all snuggled up in the folds of their grey matter and that each individual brain has the potential to shape the “self” to enhance survival in its corresponding reality or “world.” 

The chief dilemma you struggle with is that the “self” cannot annihilate the body (other than suicide) yet the body and the reality it exists “in” has the power to easily terminate “you” at any time and every self-concept you identify with is simply another method of hiding from this fact.

The body is a gross physicality that oozes goo out of every orifice and pore. It engages immediate existential experiences of a material world completely outside the conceptual ego’s ability to thwart or even direct.

The body is gross reality, while the “skin encapsulated ego-self” is merely a net reality made up of conceptual meanings that stem from the demands of the body. Therefore, as a means of extracting itself from its slave status to the body, the ego-self must repress its own modus operandi of serving the master by deluding itself that it is the master. Egocentricity must construct meaningful ‘stories’ of purpose to deny that at any minute the purpose of the body might be to shut down completely, taking the “self” with it as food for worms.

Egocentrics invent concepts which cannot be seen or touched and are essentially anonymous to bodily sensation. They invent complex value systems that have no more reality than a puff of smoke on a windy day. They conjure up rules of conduct and moral codes, ritualistic traditions, cultural customs, ideological norms, dogmatic commandments, expectations, styles, etiquette's, habits, laws, protocols, policies, etc. etc., that have no attachment to gross reality whatsoever, but that simply rest on a foundation of programmed “belief,” in which the egocentric mind ‘thinks’ that by performing various scripted routines the net reality will overcome the grossness of their existence. They run around demanding freedom, justice, love, compassion, equality, etc., never even considering that these are nothing more than conceptual figments of a net imagination. 

This is the stuff “you” are made of and that gives purpose to a gross reality you have no choice in by minimizing its existence, while the gross reality stands firmly unaffected and impervious to all your dreams, goals, objectives, projects, pastimes, aspirations, etc, but which has paradoxically determined every need you seek to satisfy through such mental fantasies. The bodily desires have always been there, and every species will attest to that through instinctual behaviors, but you have made your desires “spiritually magical” through a net reality that completely fails to reflect the actual nature of your existence. 

The actual reality of your ‘head-stuff’ is a permeable, undulating mass of conceptual abstractions that require nothing more than that you believe it “real.” Net reality is slave to the gross and all abstract belief systems serve to modulate the utter dread and anxiety of this actual condition and the fact that, in the face of gross reality, your net fantasies are utterly pointless and can come crashing down around you without a moment’s notice.

“We don’t want to admit that we are fundamentally dishonest about reality, that we do not really control our own lives. We don’t want to admit that we do not stand alone, that we always rely on something that transcends us, some system of ideas and powers in which we are embedded and which support us. This power is not always obvious. It need not be overtly a god or openly a stronger person, but it can be the power of an all-absorbing activity, a passion, a dedication to a game, a way of life, that like a comfortable web keeps a person buoyed up and ignorant of himself, of the fact that he does not rest on his own center.” (Becker, Ernest, 2007-11-01. The Denial of Death (p. 55. Simon & Schuster, Inc.. Kindle Edition).

Egocentrica mammalia feels secure in his gross reality simply by obfuscating truth through centering himself in an imaginary net reality of glorified conceptual incantations repeated on and on, ad absurdum, emphasizing the ‘specialness’ of his otherwise banal existence, demanding life be “wonderful” and that the world be “beautiful” and when the world fails to conform to these specifications, as it always must, egocentrics are loathe to alter their head-stuff to conform to the actual truth of their condition (unless ultimately forced to). This results in a myriad of psychological neuroses and behavioral maladaptions which serve to keep gross reality minimized as nothing more than a background glitch in the system, so that a delusional net reality can thrive and grow prosperous. 

Egocentricity cannot possibly exist in the realization that the ‘beautiful world’ can annihilate their ‘wonderful life’ in a split second. Narcissistic self-awareness is a necessary precondition for all egocentric grandiosity and the fantasies of existence that unravel from that delusional narcissism.

What is not real is consequently illusory and net reality is a tenuous, desperately spun web of illusions that serve to disengage with the gross reality of your natural world. This web is comprised of an interlocking aggregate of abstract concepts in a delusional loop that breeds neurotic tendencies simply because it has no involvement in the reality. 

Your abstract concept of “honesty” must be fortified by the abstract concept of “truth,” (which exists nowhere else but in your head), to support a net reality that has no reflection to the universal gross. The natural world doesn’t give a sheit whether or not your "honesty" reflects some relative homespun tale of truth. The concept of “value” reinforces the concept of “money” which bolsters the concept of “wealth” and none of these abstract mental inventions reflect anything in the natural world, but serve to disengage you from the gross reality which is the final arbiter of your existence or non-existence. 

What you require to direct the conduct of your life is made of nothing but fragile conceptual smoke rings floating aimlessly upward before dissolving into thin air. But although this psychological smoke screen changes with the wind, you continue to rely on it to extract your “self” from the gross sheit that is your only real truth. Death is a concept reflecting gross reality, while the “afterlife,” and all the millions of symbolic references derived from that concept, reflect a better net return.

All conceptual reality is a net reality seeking to protect you from your gross existence. Your “spirituality” is nothing more than a net of conceptual illusions and “you” are securely tangled within those circuits, all the while, claiming some nebulous “freedom” within the prison walls of your physical mortality. Such spiritual narcissism serves to disengage you from your world and all the experiences of that world, simply because such a repressed existence demands you daily engage your neurotic egocentric tendencies, depressions, anxieties, addictions, guilt complexes and, of course, the daily utter vapid boredom that you refer to as your "life."

Yet, what if your gross reality does not allow you a net return? What if your socially programmed narcissism has done nothing but disengage you from a gross reality where the true treasures of your existence can be discovered? What would it be like to fully engage gross reality without your fantasies of a better life and a better world? What if you woke one day to discover truth, honesty, love, spirituality, value, money, compassion, wealth, etc, etc, completely absent from your mind? What if you had no goals, dreams or aspirations? What if you were to discover your “self” completely devoid of all the concepts that you rely on to prop up an otherwise meaning-free existence? Could an egocentric 'self' even exist without the concepts that make it a “skin encapsulated package of beliefs”? Without such conceptual filters, what would you see? What would you experience? What would you do? Who would you be?

You did not cause your “self” but are, in fact, a construct of the natural order and you have no existence outside that causation. You do absolutely nothing not ordained by a universal causative that you did not create nor control. Any freedom an egocentric could possibly stumble upon would consist of realizing this and diving head first into the natural currents of gross reality, no matter where they take “you.”

Definitely not a comfortable practice for a neurotic egocentric scurrying about chasing smoke signals that can only dissolve into thin air. 

Artwork by Ryohei Hase - "Drown in the Empty Dried-up Room"

Can You Hear the Universe Laughing?

The universe ordained that egocentrica mammalia exist as a unique species within the natural order. Long before the development of his egocentric identification, homo sapiens simply survived. He ate when hungry, drank when thirsty, copulated in season and died in ways similar to all other animal species. The unconscious drive to exist is the ultimate goal of existence in the universe and is pressed deep within the fatty gray matter of all sentient species. 

Yet, unlike all other species, the universe also ordained that egocentrica mammalia live with full awareness of his future non-existence or “death.” 

One could easily imagine the very moment egocentric mammalia located a “self” in his head and proclaimed,“aha! It’s me!” the next thought must’ve been, “but, I don’t wanna die!” 

Indeed, egocentric mammalia is the only species that is consciously aware of his eventual demise, which could happen at any time in his busy schedule. Hence, this results in a serious interior conflict subsequently magnifying the survival drive as a means of diminishing that conflict by short-circuiting the death drive. But, alas, to no avail….

Inheriting an instinct to survive, while knowing he could drop dead any moment, has not allowed egocentric mammalia a moment’s peace since the very moment he discovered a “self” mulling about aimlessly in between his ears. All ego-centered brains were inadvertently cursed with centuries of unnecessary suffering simply because its egocentric ancestors, upon discovering a “self” flopping around in their heads, failed to inquire with “what the fook am ‘I’ doing in here?” Instead they became a chronically copulating tribe of selfish paranoid schizophrenics filling up their lives with abstract trivialities to avoid the brute fact of death. 

Subsequently, modern egocentrica mammalians can do absolutely nothing to extinguish either one of these inherited circuits and both electrochemical currents reciprocally reinforce each other; survive-die, survive-die, etc, etc, etc, on and on, back and forth, ad nauseam.

This dualistic conflict has resulted in all sorts of mental and behavioral dysfunctions. Where in nature do you find “addictions,” the problem of “obesity” or the symptoms of “neuroses”? Does a three-toed, tree sloth ever get “depressed”? Where in the natural order do we find a species that does not kill for food, but to terminate “non-believers”? Apparently, the ‘die-survive’ brain circuitry has resulted in egocentrics unconsciously rushing to their death by destroying the very habitat their existence requires, all the while believing it absolutely essential to do this to increase its chances of surviving. Die-survive, die-survive…

While the rest of the natural world simply lounges around, eating when hungry, drinking when thirsty, copulating in season, egocentrics scurry about engaging in the most spurious and meaningless activities to pack it all in before the reaper comes a knocking. Egocentrics even worry that they don’t copulate enough and have numerous studies to prove it!

In addition, they’ve devised all manner of concepts for which to support their frightened hustle and bustle, all to give their brief and precarious existence “meaning.” This serves to deny that everything that ends in death is meaningless simply because of that fact alone. Hence, the death instinct unconsciously motivates egocentrics simply because, if egocentric mammalia was forced to consider his finite brief existence every day, what would be the point of doing anything at all? What would be the point of pursuing happiness? Why not just lounge around, eat when hungry, drink when thirsty and copulate when the spirit moves you?

The chief role of egocentric mammalia in the natural order is to consume everything he can in the short time allotted; simply as a means to deny awareness that his allotted time is so obviously short. It seems apparent (except to egocentrics) that all the useless sheit they feel they must constantly do actually does little more than make their short time a total hell on earth. For instance, does nature worry about making constructive use of its time by implementing effective time management strategies?

Yet, it’s easy to see how the alternating currents of death and survival (or what some call “life”) must result in the invention of all sorts of symbolic meanings. Egocentrics demand that the “self,” mulling around aimlessly in their heads, mean something to the universe, different from cats, dogs, chickens, goats, horses, tree sloths, etc, etc. As egocentrics see it, the natural world means nothing to the grand scheme of the universe, else why wouldn’t the rest of nature not also have a “self” mulling around aimlessly in their heads, gritting and grinding over the lack of time to engage in useless activities that have no point?

Nevertheless, it does seem that these other species quite fully sense that they mean nothing to the universe, since they aren’t running around obsessively copulating as a means to pursuing happiness. They aren’t gnashing their teeth over the injustices of the universal order of things, demanding the "freedom" to make useless choices that only pile on more suffering. They aren’t inventing vacuous empty concepts to give their lives meaning, simply because the universe has not provided them the grey matter for such tasks. 

Egocentric mammalia has a billion meanings in his head, most of which tend to cancel out and contradict one another, resulting in a helter skelter hodgepodge of tenuous truths, supported by dubious justifications and easily smashed to smithereens with barely any effort at all. Nevertheless, this constant train crash of meanings makes the egocentric world look rather mad (except to an egocentric) in comparison with the rest of the universal order of things. 

The rest of the natural world appears to have accepted the fact that it has no free-will, which seems to allow it a sense of peace and harmony with the natural order of things, even in the face of painful death and natural disasters. Egocentrics must anxiously grit and grind over the unending need to protect, at all costs, their highly symbolic, but hilariously brief, existence, because they believe they can control and direct the natural order.

Egocentrics demand freedom of choice, in complete denial that the universe has totally denied them free-will from the very moment they were conceived since, obviously, their conception was not up for a vote and neither will they vote on their death. What was provided to egocentric mammalians was the delusion of choice and all the suffering that attends it and they did not vote for their suffering either, but constantly complain that they want less of it which, paradoxically, seems to give them more.

So they invent concepts like God, karma, sin, morality, commandments, laws, rules, values, governments, compassion, peace, love, etc, etc, etc, to increase suffering by reinforcing, not only their choices, but their “God given right” to make choices by asserting their “God given free-will” from a universe that clearly does not give a rat’s arse about what any individual egocentric wants or desires.

Nature has never experienced free-will. But the universe provided egocentric mammalians with a highly advanced nervous system for which to delude a “self,” into allowing the continual invention of symbolic meanings that provides an illusion of free-will, causing egocentrics to actually believe they have “control” over the destiny that the universe provides simply by allowing egocentrics to exist in the first place.

As the ancient parable states, like a drop of water in an ocean, egocentric mammalia has lost awareness of the ocean and believes he has the free-will to direct his own individual course, while the ocean simply takes him wherever it will regardless of his delusion of having control.

Egocentrica mammalia proudly proclaims, “I did that!” in complete ignorance of his place in the natural order of things.

Can you hear the universe laughing?

Yet, we cannot forget that the free-will delusion of egocentric mammalia is universally ordained as well. Try this little experiment:

Allow the subjectivity of your identified egocentric “self” to become…

…an object.

Bet you can’t do it.

But it does seem there are a few who can hear the universe laughing….

.
Artwork by Charnine - "Almost Time"

Spiritually Spontaneous Combustion...

You did not create your “self.” Your egocentric story of "I-me" has serendipitously unraveled like toilet paper stuck to your backside on your way out the lavatory. Just as the entire universe did not create itself, the ego is not of your making. The thoughts that arise in your head are not "you," no matter how strenuously you insist on identifying with them as because they seem to conform to the 'story' of what you think you are.

You were born to parents you did not choose (and who did not choose "you") and received genetic programming you had no capacity to reject. You had no choice when or where you were born, nor in the culture or society through which you collected beliefs that you 'think' now define you, based on that society’s customs, traditions and values.

Within your formative years, from birth to 5yrs, you had no choice in what experiences impacted and shaped your grey matter and what responses you provided to those experiences from that circuitry. Yet, those experiences and responses define you continually, even now. As a result, every choice you have made up to this day, came from a brain sculpted and shaped completely outside any application of individual free-will you could assert, because from birth to 5 you had no free will in anything and every time you attempted to assert a freedom outside the bounds, as set by all the controlling variables (genetics, parents, school, society, etc), you were redirected through positive and negative reinforcement (punishment and reward schedule) to conform to specific standards.

Therefore, every action you engage in, and have ever engaged in, is completely spontaneous, simply because not one action belongs to “you,” but belongs to a force of causation you have yet to understand and even that understanding is beyond your control and, hence, will be as spontaneous as everything else.

Spontaneous thoughts lead to spontaneous actions and not one thought have you ever WILLED to think as you did. So next time you grit and grind over some situation, person or event, or even over something about yourself, recognize that this is exactly what you should be doing, and how you should be, in the very moment it is being done. In addition, if that gritting and grinding causes you to do something different, allow that to be done as well.

Spontaneous living is always happening. But egocentrics are loathe to accept what they do not want, thinking it should not be as it is. Yet, spontaneity does not subscribe to your decisions on what is “good” or “bad," but merely happens outside any willpower you struggle to impose to make it otherwise.

You may not like how your life is now but, make no mistake, it is exactly as it supposed to be and could not be any different and will never be any different than it is in this very moment...and then the next.

You never really seem to get what you want exactly the way you want it. Things never seem to happen exactly as planned. Nevertheless, what you now want, what you now desire for your life, was initially formulated in childhood based on conditions outside your control, as well as shaped through external events and situations you had no control in and that you were programmed to respond to as you did, for if you did not, you would would have done it differently.

The only freedom that will ever be experienced throughout your entire egocentric existence is the experience of non-volition, because it is an acceptance of duality and dissolves the suffering of dualism

Everything, good or bad, has happened exactly as it must. I could walk across the street in the next 5 minutes and get hit by a car and deep within the circuits there exists the understanding that this must happen as it did. I may not like the situation, but I cannot reject it. Egocentric suffering is a product of rejection in the attempt to thwart the flow of life; to make it go in some other direction, as willed by a programmed organism that really has no idea of who or what it is, other than what it was programed to believe.

You cannot remove yourself from the universe that allowed you to be in the universe. But the universe can and will remove you, no matter how hard you protest it should be otherwise. It has been directing your course since the moment of conception, because it allows for life to be experienced by you exactly as you now experience it. Because “you” have never been separate from the universe, what you experience, it experiences, what it experiences, you experience.

Unfortunately, this tends to negate that "you" even exist at all.

Allow this to percolate amongst your brain circuits long enough to eventually experience the spontaneous combustion of egocentric existence.

But don't try too hard...


Artwork by Mario S. Nevado