The Fook-it Koan (and gettin' Jiggy with the flow)

This kinda 'fuck it' is not defeated (which is why I like to change the spelling). It can't really be talked about either (at least to those who 'care'). But fook-it does not resist or reject, because it's expansive even when painfully contracted beyond all recognition. It's kinda like bawling your eyes out in despair, but the whole time you're, simultaneously, having a good belly laugh (well...kind of).

When you emancipate from the dream, you simply say "fook-it" and keep on dreamin.'

And now you can fook-it with an amusing elegance and deep-spirited pizzazz. You can finally ride the dream-wave and not care about some silly arse "metaphysical" origin or god-hoodie, non-dualistic-ey, rotting carcass of historically conceptual bull-poop.

None of that matters when you get all jiggy with how the dream flows.

"Therefore, send not to know
For whom the dream flows,
It flows for thee."

Fook it doesn't mean you don't care, cause "care" is a conceptual turd blossom of egocentric understanding and so, obviously at this point, you don't care, but just not like you don't care (make sense? not to worry, you'll be groking it soon enough). Just keep asking your self: "how can I 'care,' as if I don't care, but is still caring, even when it isn't and I don't, but really do?" Or "How can I be happy in my suffering, while still continuing to suffer over how happy I am?" (much easier). You can devise all kinds of Fook-It Koans and, believe me, they're loads of fun at parties. All your friends will laugh out loud, because they make absolutely no sense...

...except to you (and you laugh the loudest).

It's an amusing paradoxical conundrum of ineffable proportions, because the only purpose of a dream is to design a 'self' that fits it. A 'self' that conforms to the parameters of dreaming it has purpose and meaning. You believe the "world" taught you, while all along you taught the world what to teach.

Now I realize some of you are reading this thinking, "what kinda of vomitous drivel is this?" Although, others of you are unloading a good chuckle, in recollection of the very moment you emancipated from the dream with a silent, but deadly, "fook-it."

Nobody else would possibly understand what hit ya, after all those years of egocentric gritting and grinding over all that rock hard conceptual candy you've been crunchin' down on all those years from your "gurus" and "masters." It tastes good to egocentricity, but has yet to fill you up (tastes great, less filling!).

Then, one day outa the blue, and you don't even know from whence it came nor how it came up outa you, you just breathed a long deep sigh of relief, looked around and quietly exclaimed (to yourself) "wow... fook-it..." and nothing ever seemed the same again. It was done (and so were "you")

Of course, egocentricity did not like that one bit and you were certainly lectured for your impudence (still to this day!). But even with that, you respond with a fook-it, while weaing your sheit-eating grin. No, not a fuck it, but a fook it. A 'fuck it' just pisses "you" off and that only means you 'care,' which clearly negates fook-it, cause you couldn't care less, but now care more, while NOT giving a sheit at all, whatsoever.

But don't worry if you've not yet emancipated from the dream.

Fook that too!

Justifying the Pulp Fiction of Desperate Housewives

You cannot deny the fact that truth simply demands that you see LIES. You needn't worry what truth IS, just tease out everything in your "life" that isn't true and detach from an outcome or result.

You don’t even need to claim that it’s all an “illusion.” Let’s simply call it…

…fictional.

So what fictions are you seeking to justify today? The importance of getting to work on time? The pressing need to get your nails done? Obama should be re-elected? Marble counter tops? Or just watch the game and have a beer? Maybe bang your "spouse" and then read a good book before dropping off to sleep? Ya know, you really need to spend more time with your kids, cause how else will you justify a lack of selfishness. And how will you ever justify being a good “son” if you don’t call your mother?

Your lifestyle, your job, your marriage and family. All justifiable fiction. Your work, your career, your house, your car, your money, all story-book make believe. That orgasm you had last night is as fictional as “Desperate Housewives” on your HDTV. But, don’t worry, it’s all "real" and not "illusion." It’s just a fictional "real" that you justify experiencing so that you can regulate your emotions accordingly and experience the full spectrum of egocentricity as it was meant to be.

Is it all nothing more than fictional drama to fill empty space and time? Could it all be completely meaningless? 

Awakening to truth will seems like driving in reverse until you slam into the brick wall from behind, which suddenly propels you rapidly forward. Make no mistake, everything must be consciously SEEN as left behind. You must drive in reverse so that you see all the fictions rapidly receding into the back ground…

…directly in front of you.

And when you hit the wall you’re propelled right back into and through it all as if it never even existed because…

… it never even existed.

Make no mistake, it’s gonna really hurt to know your life is and always has been a meaningless fiction. But the deep depressing state of disillusionment must be experienced fully and deeply. When you get a belly full of your pulp fiction, you might then be ready for truth. Consider your plummet into the nothingness of the rabbit hole as a necessary precursor to seeing how the dream hides the rabbit hole. You never know it's there until your hurtling down it.

But don’t get yourself in a lather. Egocentric depression is purely conceptual and is as fictional as “Desperate Housewives.” You’ve piled concepts upon concepts, fictions atop fictions, and are suffocating in a drama of your own design. Fictional suffering is an ego-centered demand that the world conform to your fictions, all the while negating the fact that your fictional concepts gave the world all the meaning it ever had for you in the first place.

In truth, a fictional world means nothing, because you mean nothing and, if that’s true, then maybe you should stop justifying “you.” It's easy to watch the nightly news and lament the absurdity of the world, while denying the experience of a "world" is IN you.

Even as we speak, many of you are experiencing episodes of gut-wrenching disillusionment with your fictional concepts (your “life”) and, although egocentricity conceptualizes and experiences these times as failures, they are episodes of resounding success (so don't give in to the antidepressants).

You have to drop back to make the leap forward. The slingshot must be pulled back as far as possible, almost to the breaking point, if you want to make great distance with your projectile (“you”).

But these backward slides will be marked by long bouts of incapacitating, and often excruciatingly painful, depression. Because, let's face it, who wants to see how ridiculous their "life" really is? Nevertheless, disillusionment is what you have been seeking all along (but you don’t realize that until the end). Antidepressants are selling like candy these days. Could it be that millions are avoiding the process of waking up?

The only way to wake from a dream is to no longer want what the dream offers. However, be forewarned. When you no longer want what the dream offers, everything you wanted will fall on you like an avalanche. But, by then, you couldn't care less. Until then, look at what you care about. Is it truth or fiction?

Truth requires NO control, but fiction must be meticulously fabricated.

You will learn that what you have always sought to control was lost to you the moment you tried to control it. The moment you sought to have it, you detached yourself from the universal patterns that would unfold right in front of you and that need none of your egocentric justifications for controlling what “happens.” Truth happens because it must, as it always has.

This is why you demand to be disillusioned from your fictions. You can deny, delay and debate it, but this is where everyone eventually winds up.
Who are “you”? How do you justify the things you do? Why must you need to? What’s your justification for not dying? How do you justify the desire to remain alive?

You will one day surrender the Justification Process. This is an ego-centered process of continually seeking justification for every choice you make.

When you realize that there is NO justification for anything you DO, everything you do becomes an exercise in futility.

But it’s a wonderfully effortless futility that you might come to enjoy.

Artwork by Mark Ryden - "Allegory of the Four Elements"

LINKS: Compromising with Bullshit