The Collapse of Egocentric Time

Although the egocentric ‘self’ demands the measuring and charting of "time," it is only an experience. “You," or that conceptual abstraction you identify as "I," are consistently seeking to evolve, improve, develop and self-actualize within the parameters of time, in the belief that such evolution (mind/spirit) must take “time. This is a chronological, horizontally, linear perspective that demands “time” be involved in everything you do to self-actualize as an existing egocentric individual.

However, since time is only an experience, is there a way to collapse time?

 
“Education” is egocentrically contingent on time. But is there a way to collapse time and thus evolve rapidly through spurts of timelessness? Is time really needed for an evolving mind or does the mind rapidly accelerate evolution through experiences outside or absent time? Experiences that relieve the mind of experiencing time altogether?

You can certainly recollect experiences in which time seemed to drag on interminably. While you can also recall experiences when time seemed to speed up and hours felt like mere minutes. Hence, it does seem that experientially there is the potential to play with time since, although we measure time objectively for egocentric actualizing and development, subjectively it is pure experience and nothing more.

Is there a perspective the ego-self could adopt that tends to collapse the experience of time? Or does the ego-self need to markedly recede from the mind in order for time to be experienced as collapsed or absent?

Is the learning that comes from 'timelessness' more valuable to the mind then that which is learned IN time, through the victimization to time?

There does seem to be some evidence of the possibility that two egos might have the capacity to collapse the experience of time, make time recede, cause time to essentially…disappear.

Consider your past “love” experiences and the egocentric dissolution in moments of self-abandonment which occurred initially.  The full engagement of each ‘self’ as merged with, and deeply into another. Those brief moments when self-awareness seemed to recede as other-awareness impeded the self-protective and self-preserving capacities of egocentric individualism and “personal” self-actualization.

This is much too prevalent an experience to pass off as merely a type of infatuation psychosis completely contingent on bodily drives, desires and lusts (although the actions of two “lovers” clearly indicates such to outside observers). Although, for centuries, songs and books have been written paying homage to this brief episode of “romantic” self-dissolution, the same loss of self from non-obligatory relationships is apparent in many obligatory parent/child relationships (especially when the child has not yet fully developed an egocentric perspective to oppose and compete with other egos). Time-collapse experiences are evident in mother-child attachments in which one ego collapses time by merging with the undeveloped self of the child.

The ego-self learns nothing from such experiences, because the experience is purely timeless and the ego-self is an inherently time-bound abstraction, requiring time for which to self-actualize or “exist.” However, there is always a recollection of the experience of collapsed time, but that memory does not fit egocentric paradigms and is later interpreted as fantasy or delusional. Nevertheless, the desire to join and unify is a superconscious (beyond conscious thought) directive that even the machinations of the ego cannot resist, causing us ALL to long for it once again.

Because the ego-self is entirely victim to time, it would have little conscious inclination or desire to collapse what it requires in order to know it 'exists' and is indeed, a ‘self IN time. Hence, after an experience of collapsed time, the return to egocentricity is often quite aggressive, as the ego-self rises back up to honor its time-bound commitment to reality control, which includes the subconscious directive of controlling others. The ego-self must return to judge conditions optimal for its continued press into its world, since this has always been its prime directive.

Nevertheless, we forever long for this experience of egocentric regression and freedom from time. We pine for the “love” we once experienced in the egoless embrace in which time was experienced as absent. An experience in which the conditions egocentrically imposed, as means of controlling your personal reality, seem to miraculously disappear, if only for a brief time.

You may rigidly adhere to your spiritual practices for a lifetime and never experience the absence of egocentric time that such a collapse perpetuates.This is because it relies on engagement with another and that engagement must be left completely uncontrolled by egocentric needs. Millions leave long-term relationships in the belief that they have once again found “The One” for which to lose themselves and experience the collapse of egocentric time.

Alas, this is clearly antithetical to the ego-self’s primary commitment to reality control and many move serially from relationship to relationship in the hope of one day experiencing the collapse of time and the end of victimization to the experience of time.

Can we blame them that they are driven by a force beyond their egocentric comprehension and control?

 
Yet, the problem is always how to maintain the collapse when it is spontaneously experienced with, and through, another. How to resist the ego’s press for return and the eventual imposition of conditions as time is again re-experienced.  How to perpetuate the unconditional within the timeless.

Can two or more apply a method for harnessing collapsed time?

Possibly for another essay to be posted…

…in “time.”

Artwork by Jacek Yerka - "Nauka Chodzenia"

“You”… are Slowly, but Surely….Unraveling

The fear is rising in crescendo.

Things are slowly unraveling.

Watch how the ego-self struggles to maintain its structure. It will fight to hold onto the self-construct, demanding that the avenues of self-actualization remain OPEN.

Yet soon, it will be abundantly clear that the ego-games of "life" no longer sustain, no longer fulfill... can no longer be counted on for your egocentric identity.

The infinite player is prepared, while the finite player may be in for a powerful dose of suffering from failure to self-actualize through what it "knows" as "real" and "true."

Egocentric identification is always maintained through engaging the ego-games the world provides. Playing by the rules, "you" seek to accumulate ‘rewards and this is how you know your “self.” This is how existence is experienced. You engage in the games of the world in order to achieve the outcomes from which you will weave the story of “you.”

Yet, when the ego-games can no longer be sustained and when identification can no longer be achieved through the games, how will you play? What rules will you follow?Who will you be? How will you know your existence? What will become of the STORY of “you”? In what way will you engage your ‘self’ and others?

When money, career, ownership, possessions etc, etc, NO longer work as a means of identification, what will you turn to as means of defining your life and your self?

Will you turn to drugs and alcohol to anesthetize you hopelessness, your disillusionment, your suffering? What games will be played when the rules NO longer protect you? Will you turn to God (found mostly in foxholes and prison cells) to alleviate your helplessness?

Or will you deeply and fully engage those around you as a means of knowing your 'self'? Will you dump your dogmatic bullsheit or clasp ever more tightly to the objects of your crumbling self-concept?

The finite player has always weaved his/her ego-self fabric from the cloth provided. He/She weaves no unique or genuine garments, not provided from the world. Hence, interwoven deep within that fabric is always a pervasive sense of fear in the realization that the fabric is held together by invisible thread and thus…

…not held together at all and ready to unravel at any moment.

That moment is approaching.

Yet, the infinite player, of life’s ego-games, is not deluded by the static nature of his or her self. They are aware of the fragile strands of a fabric weaved out of nothingness. They are not victimized by the ego-self’s inherent vulnerability and experience invulnerability in every game they play.

The infinite player will NOT suffer through the loss of self-identity because they have been playing with loss for many years. They have been constructing and deconstructing all along. They have become experts of egocentric dissociation and de-realization. They have taken the time to unravel the egocentric threads, only to sew it back up... and unravel it again.

Hence, although the ego-centered fear is growing for you and I…

…they have NO fear. They have been there, done that.

Their egocentric identity may seem as intact and impermeable as the self-structure of our own identities. They seem just like you or I. Yet, the infinite player has expertly conditioned him/her self to fully experience self-dissolution and non-attachment. They have invoked the disassembly and deeply and fully engaged the nothingness from which the self-identity is woven.

They see what it’s ALL made of….

So when your self-development methods NO longer work wonders in the recognition of the futility of egocentric development. When your self-actualizing needs turn to basic survival issues, when all the strands of your identity have been torn loose from their threads, leaving tattered patches all balled up on the filthy tiled floor of life…

….there will be an infinite player around to show you…

…how fooking hilarious it’s ALL been from the very start.

And you may again remember to laugh.

Artwork by JeDavid - "Breaking Apart men"

The Accidental Guru

The Great Spiritual Guru is historically renowned for bringing up your sheit. Making you LOOK at yourself, exposing your delusions. Why else would you seek him out?

And while you were busy seeking your Great Guru, accidental gurus were all around you.

How many did you encounter today?

Or did you miss them and, thus, fail to retain the teachings?

Per chance....an accidental guru looked at you on the elevator and one slightly bumped you in line at McDonalds (with a quiet “sorry” that you barely heard). One loudly beeped his horn at you, while another let you pass. Yesterday, one made you angry and last week one made you laugh. Last month one made you cry and last year one hurt you real bad. There were others that made you leap with joy and some you just couldn’t get enough of and some you just can't stand.

Some are happy and some are sad. Some are vain and some are humble.

But not one of them…

… is sacred.

Let’s face it, you know a “Master Teacher” when you see one!

With an accidental guru, you just never know...

Hence, you pay them little heed, as you return to your sutra’s and scriptures, mindfully repeating your “OM.”

Because you know what to look for, you will seek and find your Master Teacher and he will always meet your expectations. If not, you'll just seek out another, until you can finally make your bow.

But you will never bow to the accidental guru, because you never know they're there. They will never meet your expectations, so don’t bother looking.

Yet, make no mistake, they will FIND YOU.

They never fail.

It’s inexplicable how they always seem to be there to teach you what you need right when you need it. Although, most likely, you’ll claim the timing was bad and miss the point altogether. Then you’ll angrily demand the accidental guru find a “Master Teacher” like yours.

You can’t prepare for what the accidental guru teaches. But you can always be prepared to learn. Unless, of course, it is the Great Spiritual Guru you seek. In that case, you’ll learn nothing by accident and everything on purpose.

Probably not the best way to learn…

…that YOU are an accidental guru.


Artwork by Mark Ryden - "The Apology"

Love is an Infinite Feedback Loop

Love is a feedback loop that when extended, only comes back around to the mind extending, even when receipt of that extension is denied by the love object you are extending to.

This loop originates with extension TO another, but is not conditioned on extension FROM another.

To know love you must extend love, yet it makes no difference if love is extended back from another. In this way, one can BE love and this BEING is not conditioned on anything other than that BEING.

Nevertheless, according to your ego (the conditioned and socially trained part of your mind), for love to be experienced, all extension, or giving, must be conditioned on ‘getting’ in return. Therefore, your extension TO another is specifically conditioned on their extension TO you. If a return is not forthcoming, based on your extension, your egoic mind will purposely obstruct or even fully terminate the loop that originates from your mind.

Love requires extension to another in order to be experienced, but it is not contingent on another returning it. Mother Teresa was steeped in love for the sick and suffering in her care. Yet, the extent of their sickness may have made it impossible for a return extension. Nevertheless, her love to them magnified love within her experience of self and the loop was completed, and maintained, like an unbroken electrical circuit.

Love magnifies YOU and this magnification is contingent on nothing but extension. This is because the only way to experience love is to extend it.

Of course, you need not be a Mother Teresa, sacrificing your life for the sick, to experience such magnification within your own experience of “self.’ However, there must be another for which to extend. Those we extend to are often family or loved ones of our choosing. Unfortunately, the ego chooses primarily for what it can ‘get’ and less by what it can give. This impedes the feedback loop that is not contingent on receiving anything at all.

Christ Consciousness is an extended infinite feedback loop. It requires nothing in return because it is always returns back to itself.

A feedback loop in the extension of love can have no interference for the impulses you send out to return to you in a magnified form. Love conditioned as contingent on return impulses from another only impedes what you extend from returning to you. Love is a state of mind and, although physical manifestations are available for observation, unconditioned love is an enlightened state of mind available to all minds.

Love is the nature of Being and extension is our natural predisposition. Demanding extension be contingent on return will cause the loop to eventually contract in upon itself. Many live their entire lives in the experience of a contracted and obstructed feedback loop and never experience the love that serves to magnify life itself.

The difference between this feedback loop and other forms of feedback is that your experience of love is contingent on the impulse you send out being returned in a magnified form, but that magnification requires nothing from anyone else and your only focus is extension. Therefore, you cannot obstruct this extension of mind through imposing conditions on that extension.

This requires a sense of ‘self’ in which your security is not contingent on a return of extended love. In this sense, your giving love to another is free and clear of the egocentric imposition of any factors whatsoever. Love is not a dependent state and must be free of conditional dependencies that your ego defines.

Surprisingly, (and many have experienced this), what actually takes place through this feedback loop is that, because there is no dependency on a return extension, that return naturally occurs.

When the loved one you extend to experiences that you have no demand for the extension to be returned, the natural predisposition is to extend as well. To experience diminished egoic involvement in extending love is to be inspired through it, and touched by it, instilling a desire to replicate the experience for oneself.

If you extend to me and all my hatred of you does little to impede or terminate that extension, I can only marvel and seek to emulate the experience I reckon you must have encountered. This is because deep down I know this experience and have wanted, longed for it, all my life. We all long for the freedom of extension that makes no demands and requires NOTHING. This is a condition of our Being, but is actually NOT a condition at all, but freedom.

In a spiritual sense, there is only one way to experience your Being, free and unfettered from egocentric attachment, and that is through the extension of your Being (which tends to be defined as "love") to another, with no condition on whether this is returned or not.

This is the nature of your existence. But a more important point relates to the magnification of the experience of love. This magnification within the feedback loop is infinite. Therefore, increase will continue to occur as much and as far as the mind will allow, based on increasingly diminished conditions. Thus, if another agrees to join the loop you have extended, this serves as an addition to the wholeness you magnify through your own mindful extension and magnifies them in their mind as extension is mutually engaged together.

Non-egoic love is always an increase to 'self' (minus conditions) regardless of who does or does not participate. Yet, make no mistake, participation is naturally compelled in the minds of those so touched by the experience you model through your own secure feedback loop. Take away egocentric impositions and the circuit cannot be broken.

See for yourself.

Artwork by Martin-Georg Oscity - "Der Schöpfungszyklus"