Climb Aboard the Dream Weaver Train

The ego-self, or that abstract package of beliefs you identify with as your “self,'” idolizes its symbolic world as “real,” but fails to recognize that a symbolic “reality” is only conceptual.

You do not see a “world,’ but merely organize concepts (Kantian-like) or weave together a symbolic tapestry as a means of making sense of what, otherwise, would be an amalgamation of complete absurdity.

What you see in your “world” are symbolic representations of reality firmly entrenched in your mind prior to “perception” (concept). But you have little doubt that the symbols in your mind reflect FACTS and this is how you organize the symbols into a “reality.”

Unfortunately, you’re not so sure your mind is a FACT, but you do accept that it symbolizes “you.” Nevertheless, you do experience concepts and many arguments have been made that the mind is all you experience, but only through symbolic concepts.

An ego-self does not really see a tree, but only a symbolic conceptualization of a “tree” and, in that concept, the “tree” is only what the concept requires and NOT what it is in truth. “You” (concept) could never know what it means in TRUTH, because all egocentricity ever “knows” are its own concepts and concepts can only symbolize what is TRUE. They can never actually be TRUE simply because they are symbolic facsimiles of what you believe MUST be “true” and what you wish to be “true” today is always contingent on what WAS true yesterday.

A facsimile may look and feel like the original, but you know it’s only a copy and, if you look close, you’ll see all the tiny imperfections that demonstrate its inauthenticity.

An egocentric self-concept does NOT see a world, but sees its symbolic representations of a “world,” or a facsimile of a “world",” in the form of conceptual constructs within its own inner-experience of an individual MIND. “You” do not live in a realistic world, but in a world of concepts which serve to symbolize a ‘reality’ that you believe is FACTUAL.

Egocentricity demands Facticity in order to actualize an existence as “real.” Facticity is the superimposing of specific separate parameters to enhance belief.

Yet, concepts are bland beliefs without emotion. But “emotion” is also a concept, since it too is experienced in the mind and an egocentric mind only experiences concepts. Nevertheless, your concept of a “tree” may do little to stimulate any further conceptual dream weaving. While the concept of “money” may stimulate ever increasing conceptual configurations that egocentricity considers “real.”

The non-dualist idea that there is “nothing there” merely emphasizes the fact that concepts are only symbolic. If they are only symbolic then how can they affect you? But this is completely opposite what you experience. You experience a “world” for which you have NO doubt of its reality and are victimized by that “reality” on a daily basis.

Hence, the only difference between real and facsimile is your own victimization, because no one would fall victim to a facsimile in knowing it is not authentic or genuine. 

However, if an ego-self is nothing more than a package of beliefs and those beliefs are conceptual symbols representing reality, then the ‘self’ you idolize as real is nothing but a well packaged aggregate of symbolic representations. Hence, there is nothing REAL about “you” and what is NOT real can only make lame attempts at representing the REAL.

Is the body “real”? Certainly, as you conceptualize it, it does seem authentic. But the self-concept of “you” cannot know the body free and clear of concepts and, therefore, what you experience as “body” is inauthentic and disingenuous.

Is there a difference between the image of a blue sky and thinking the thought “the sky is blue”? Is the thinking that is composed of words different from the thoughts composed of images? Could they be made of the same stuff and, if so, who made them? Even though both thoughts and images are experienced in your mind, you believe the thoughts are yours, while the images belong to the world. Hence, your thoughts are minimized as less important and even false, in comparison to the images, having little to no power to alter your experience because you have determined that your concept of a “body” is the only concept that can provide accurate representations of your world. Clearly, the concept of a “self” is minimized next to the concept of body. Hence, the ‘self’ can be full of doubts, but never regarding your concept of “body.”

But are they not both experienced in the mind? Do you experience a blue sky outside your mind? How could you, when ALL experience is IN and OF the mind? Could it be that the blue sky is nothing more than a symbolic representation of what may not be “there” after all?

Ah, but your egocentricity assures you that it MUST be there, because if it’s NOT really there at all, what does this say about “you.” If it’s NOT “there,” then “where” are you?

Everything an egocentric self-concept experiences MUST be experienced to insure the reality of that ego-self.

Clearly, you live your entire “life” (concept) counting on the images (concepts) to give you truth, but doubt your own thoughts. Your mind is inconsequential to the grand order that you have strung together with concepts. Your conceptual weaving of a “reality” is the only thing occurs from moment to moment and never to you question whether or not the concepts accurately represent reality. You just weave your concepts together because they must fit together adequately. If even one concept is determined to be illusional, then the whole foundation must crash of its own fraudulence.

Is it any wonder you’re so damned exhausted all the time?

Yet, be prepared for the day when you finally come to doubt even the images you have always experienced as “real,” because…

as the world fades away…

…so must “you.”

But fear not!

“You” were never really “there” in the first place.

I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind

Ooh dream weaver
I believe you can get me through the night
Ooh dream weaver
I believe we can reach the morning light
Fly me high through the starry skies
Maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget today's pain

Though the dawn may be coming soon
There still may be some time
Fly me away to the bright side of the moon
And meet me on the other side

Artwork by Mark Ryden - "Girl Eaten by Tree"  

Normalizing Insanity

The ego-self must try to negate the practicality of truth in order to prove it insane. You would never consider “driving a car,” “watching TV,” “paying bills” and “going to work” as insanity. In fact, you believe these activities are quite practical and necessary.

Make no mistake, your world has taught you what you require be learned and, in the ego’s need for insanity, this is what will be taught and considered extremely ‘practical.’

Truth is clearly insane to the mind that relies on insanity being normal and this is why you function in the world as if truth were absent. The ego fears that your functioning in the world would be impaired by the truth. You might just STOP everything and then, how would the ego know it exists if it weren’t functioning as it was taught to?

On the contrary, through acknowledging insanity, fear dissolves and functioning is enhanced. Don’t be afraid of insanity, because it’s NOT real and can have NO effect. However, you need to see it for what it is, otherwise, you will continue to believe you suffer from what cannot effect you.

The infinite player participates in the games of the world, knowing full well that they are absurd and this is why infinite players are not victimized by the rules. However, finite players believe the rules are very ‘practical’ and are careful NOT to deviate from insanity.

What you ‘do’ is of little concern to truth. Yet, the fact that it IS of concern to you must be evaluated. Is there ONE purpose behind all your actions and is that purpose consistent with every action you take? Or do you merely live through a confusing cacophony of contradictory and chaotic meanings and purposes?

If you allow the world to determine your purpose, then you adhere to many contradictory meanings, in which your purpose is inconsistent, chaotic and insane. Examine closely the actions you undertake on a daily basis. The tedious and mundane roles you perform every waking moment. Have you even considered what your purpose is? Or do you compulsively repeat what you were taught (and think you live an “authentic” life).

When an absence of fear is your only purpose, every function you fulfill will be miraculously transformed. Yet, such miraculous perception seems impossible to those who have learned fear and find insanity normal and have even come to find it quite comfortable. 

Yet, the ego’s capacity to learn is evident in how it has learned to normalize insanity and this is because you have taught yourself by demanding the world teach you. In denying the world this function, you fear that you are rejecting the world, which means the world will reject you. This is impossible because you fail to understand that rejection by the world is nothing more than a rejection of your ‘self.’

Infinite players reject nothing. Yet, paradoxically, neither do they accept. Any path that teaches one or the other leads nowhere but back to the start. If you start IN the world, you can only end up back where you started.

The first step is to fully realize that the world has nothing to teach. The world is a product of the ego and neither can teach you anything you need. However, there is a part of you influenced by neither an ego nor a world. That part sees the need for the right teacher. From that part, YOU will teach your SELF.

The world you SEE discourages you and, at times, even drives you to utter despair. You see it as cause of your suffering, but still require it to ease your pain. Yet, when the ego suddenly gets a glimpse of the real cause of despair, it seeks to prove it impossible by demanding continued despair in seeking relief from the perceived cause. This is how insanity is normalized. This is how intelligent people believe in war.

The world is cause of NOTHING. You gave meaning to the meaningless and you are First Cause of the ‘world’ you experience. God did NOT make your world. You did. It is your expectation to experience suffering that causes suffering and not the world. Your world has the power to cause nothing but what you give it power to cause and this includes your death.

Yet, that which is made to seem “real,” but is NOT true, exists only because you experience it “real” and then superimpose “truth” upon what’s NOT there. It has no other existence separate from what you wish. But be careful, your wishes run very deep indeed, and some you have no awareness of….yet.

Just look outside your head and SEE for yourself what you have wished for…


Artwork by Paul Torres - “Notrica 32nd Street Market”

Manufacturing Problems to Prove You Exist (but do "you"?)

The ego-self must go from one problem to the next and this is because an ego-self is defined by incompletion seeking to be complete.

Incompletion must always lack for something and, therefore, the ego must continually attempt to fill what it lacks in order to be complete. This is because the ego-self is always missing something and even though it is never sure what that ‘something’ is, its purpose is to fill that absence, nonetheless.

Therefore, the modus operandi of every ego-self is to find what it requires to attain completion. But an ego-self could never be complete and still ‘exist’ simply because an ego-self is defined specifically by this obscure incompletion.

This poses a problem for the ego. In fact, this poses many problems for the ego, so much so that solving problems has become the egos only function. Recall how often you have informed your ‘self’ that if only this problem could be solved, you could then be ‘happy.’ But, of course, your happiness is never consistent because consistent happiness would be indicative of completion and an ego-self could not exist as complete and still be, by definition, an ego-self.

Indeed, if you look close enough you’ll see that the ego is nothing more than a problem manufacturer, simply because, by definition, the ego could never be without problems and still be an ego-self. The ego actually loves to hate its problems because solving problems is a means of self-actualizing itself as “real.” No problems and reality for en ego-self must of necessity dissolve into nothingness. Note how great you feel every time you solve a problem, which merely frees you up to prepare for the next problem, because problems are always expected.

Imagine if you had no problems in your life? What would you do? What would you ever seek to prepare for? What would you need to predict? What point to "education" or "learning"? Do you ever wonder "why do I have so many problems in my life?" The answer is easy....you set it up that way, because this is how the ego experiences "life." Through problem solving you 'know' you exist.

The ego is defined specifically by its ability to solve problems through accurate prediction and associated preparations. The ego knows that if it can predict what problems will manifest, it can then be adequately prepared to solve the problem…and move on to the next. The ego actually manufactures its own problems for which to recognize its 'existence' by solving problems it creates.

Therefore, to recognize that all your problems have been solved is the ego's biggest problem of all.

But, of course, solve that one problem...

...and "you" just might disappear.

Ha!


Arwork by Alejandro Barron - "The Escapist"

Hey You! Who Do You Think "You" Are, Anyway?

You pride yourself on the delusion of being uniquely individual. Obviously, you get real angry at the suggestion that you’re nothing but a trained monkey in a cage and your core identity was manufactured in childhood through extensive conditioning that you had no choice in. But then, anger was learned as well.

Yet, you do believe you’ve made crucial choices in the sculpting of your 'self.' but this is also a delusion, since all choices were made from the same social menu we all choose from.

Nevertheless, any later additions to your self that you ‘chose,’ pale in comparison to the core personae, which was not your choice at all. In this sense, your “individuality” is an illusion and your 'uniqueness' nothing more than a fantasy, not even of your choosing.

So, can it really be "you" in there?

All of this insures the perpetuation of the collective order. Your values conform to that order and not to replicate conformity in the manufacture of personalities is to generate an eventual collapse of the collective order. This collective arrangement (which you agree to) insures that you stay put and any delusion of 'transcendence' reinforces that you are "here" and serves to keep you firmly in place (all warm and comfy, no doubt).

In other words, everything about “you” has been taught and learned and nothing is uniquely free of conditioning. And so continues the ancient hatreds and fears, as well as the ephemeral pleasures and joys, that you've inherited from your parents as they inherited from their parents and theirs before them and so on and so on, etc, etc, etc.

Deviance from this is frequently attempted, but only within the approved boundaries, simply because deviance is helpful in reinforcing collective order.

In fact, many cultures are adopting the western individualistic paradigm of competition, thereby, manufacturing a global cultural homogenization of conforming to the collective delusion of individual “uniqueness" or "me" before "us."

This is inevitable because the collective must remain joined in delusion in order to stay convinced of their separateness (even though we are all the same). So, go ahead have your “awakening” and your “enlightenment,” and continue playing the serious games that have always been played. Follow the rules like good boys and girls, because the games never end.

Thus, it seems reasonable to assume that what we seek to transcend, through the various religio-spiritual “enlightenment” ideologies (and their attached sacred paths of "peace and love") is nothing more than the social conditioning that we have been indoctrinated into and held captive by. But, make no mistake, your path to enlightenment comes from the same social menu from which all conventions are derived. These are the same old song and dance routines that have entertained us since time began.

It’s all the same shit, just a different day.

Yet, you were trained to take pride in who "you" are as a person and demand others recognize and applaud your unique ‘individuality, which, of course leads to higher ‘self-esteem.’ It is rather disappointing to consider that the self we take pride in, is nothing but a conditioned amalgamation, or composite, of the learned values of childhood social conditioning.

We can always expand the intellect, but the core egoic personality (belief system) is virtually unchangeable and the core self remains intact until death do you part. It seems that without a more intrinsic change the intellect will continue to fail us as it always has.

So how much of “you” is really you and how much is nothing more than conditioned responses based on early childhood socialization? It’s not just mom and dad, but all the institutions that shaped your personality or ‘self’ (who you ‘think’ you are) by indoctrinating you into the dominant system of values.

Are you even aware of who you really are, absent the indoctrinated beliefs that anchor you to social convention, demanding you take the games seriously by playing by the rules?

Essentially, we’re not seeking to awaken to some grandiose 'godhead,' or transcend into some whimsical nirvanic state of heavenly bliss. No, actually you’re simply trying to get free of collective hell by stripping away all the layers of delusional beliefs that collective indoctrination has burdened you with and that you have inadvertently passed onto your children in the belief that they can’t possibly thrive (or even survive) without them.

You live your “life” by perpetuating a “story” that you believe is uniquely your own. But this is delusional, since it was never “your” story to begin with.

Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?

Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don't give in without a fight.

Hey you, out there on your own

Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?
Hey you, with your ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?

Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home.

But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, standing in the road always doing what you're told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?

Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all

Together we stand, divided we fall.
(Pink Floyd)

The "Enlightenment" Disclaimer (that you ignored)

Sit at the guru’s feet and eventually you will hear the disclaimer: “only those ready for enlightenment can be enlightened” or “You must be prepared for ‘awakening’ in order to awaken.”

There’s only so much enlightenment to go around, so we gotta weed out the undeserving (who are simply unprepared) It’s the law of supply and demand. A law found in the 'world.'

So how does one prepare for enlightenment? Do you just gotta want it real bad? How can you be ready to “awaken”? The “master” tried to give you truth. Yet, even though you’ve struggled and sacrificed for most of your life, obviously, you’re still not ready. Make no mistake, you have no one to blame but yourself. So forget that refund, because it’s not the master’s fault you’re still ignorant!

However, if you happen to get your coveted “enlightenment,” be aware that, like everything else in the world, it has no guarantee. This makes it no different from anything else the world gives you and everything in the world is impermanent.

Everything dies and nothing lasts.

Then why do the wizards of awakening teach that enlightenment is the means of “transcending” the world? or your suffering? Or, most importantly, your ‘self’? 

What gives, yo?!

If “enlightenment” is transcending the world, and the world is impermanence, shouldn’t enlightenment be permanent and that permanence be absolutely guaranteed to last forever?

After you received your enlightenment (first paying the required fee), did you perceive the same world you saw before?

Well then, rest assured, you haven't transcended the world (nor the ego that perceives it). This is because perception is sensation and sensation is a function of the body and the body stands directly on terra firma (solid ground) because gravity insures that it doesn’t float out into space. Ha!

Looks like you got schnuckered, because you’re still in the "illusion." But don’t sweat it! If you were taught to better negotiate that cold, cruel world, then maybe it was worth the price. Problem is, the world, no matter how cold or cruel (or loving and joyful), is impermanent. Therefore, your enlightenment product cannot last and, eventually, must disappear like dust in the wind.

Hey, NO problem. Just buy another one! Otherwise, your only other option is to stop seeking “enlightenment.”

It’s a lot of fun to play with paradox, just don’t take it too serious and think that you “know.”


I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind.

Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind

[Now] Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy.

Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind.
(Kansas)

Non-Dual Me, Baby!

I’ve been checking out my bookmarked “non-duality” sites again and I’m always amazed at the self-absorbed and self-interested bloggers advocating that we all follow their lead and sink into ourselves in attaining the insight that we are not a ‘self.’

If you spend 10 to 20 years in self-absorbed meditation (and these are the authentic zenners and advaita jockeys, as I no longer read the 'instant-awakening' folks) you will eventually attain the insight that there is no subject/object division.(yet, in the meantime, your experience of a regressing and eroding world will continue to regress and erode as usual)

Here’s a quote from Ken Wilber’s "Spectrum of Consciousness":

"Similarly, the dualism of subject vs. object is as illusory as that of the past vs. future, and its illusory nature can be as easily demonstrated. For, at this moment, can you actually find a separate self, a separate “subject” apart from its “object”? When you hear a sound, can you ever hear yourself hearing? When you taste something, can you taste the taster? Smell the smeller? Feel the feeler? When you see a tree, can you at the same time see the seer? As you are now thinking about all of this, can you simultaneously find a thinker who is thinking about it? Is all this not the clearest demonstration that there exists no separate subject apart from objects? Invariably, the sensation called “yourself in here” and the sensation called “objects out there” are one and the same sensation. As we said in connection with Yogacara, at this moment you are this page reading itself!

This type of teaching ignores an existential aspect of living referred to as “facticity.”

In the works of Sartre, "facticity" signifies all of the concrete details against the background of which human freedom exists and is limited. For example, these may include the time and place of birth, a language, an environment, an individual's previous choices, as well as the inevitable prospect of their death. For example: currently, the situation of a person who is born without legs precludes their freedom to walk on the beach; if future medicine were to develop a method of growing new legs for that person, their facticity might no longer exclude this activity. Wiki.

Non-dualism denies the "facticity" of the human experience by deconstructing that diverse experience into an anonymous cauldron of homogeneity, in which experiencing the deep joy of intimately engaging with others is minimized against an anonymous subject/object clumping together of all experience.

Why do we hate the ‘self’ so much? Why do we so deeply wish to experience homogeneous anonymity?

Non-duality seeks to escape authentic existential experience by deconstructing that experience down to nothingness rather than reconstructing it in discovery of what it could be together in our diversity. The intimacy of two or more becomes nothing but a mere aspect of the dualistic "illusion," even though it gives us more joy than any other existential experience.

Non-duality is not so much an escape from self as it is more an escape from other selves. It is a way to offset guilt for the collective experience we all partake of and that the ego-collective constructs.

Non-duality seems to inform that since we have done such a lousy job of constructing our collective experience, best to just trash it all and seek anonymous bliss through an equally anonymous mass of subject/object merging. In other words, fuck the self and give me the bliss of anonymity. Now I can deny that I hate you for all that I’ve done wrong and completely disassociate from you as the vehicle I must seek to engage with in order for us both to know the ‘self' fully in an enlightened evolved state.

Meditation, with the goal of non-duality, is a defense mechanism against reality and attempts to deny our mutual "facticity."

Insight is available for experience, but only through others and the world.

However, these non-dual teachers and advocates are certainly an interesting lot. With all their non-dual principles, ideologies and practices, they still seem to get a big kick out of engaging with others in constantly discussing the theory of non-duality.

I just hope this type of consistent engagement with others doesn’t mess up their practices in achieving the non-dual state.

; )

mikeS

I Am "Spiritually Humble." Therefore, You Must Love ME

Everything another does is a direct reflection of your ‘self.’

Oh sure, we’d all like to detach from the context of our perception of others and, thereby, minimize guilt for past actions or inactions, but the fact is that the world is a reflection of the contents of your mind. Your experience of the world is a reflection of your belief system and the world reflects this system in flashing neon colors.

The concept of an individual “unconscious” simply makes it easy to detach from what we perceive by denying responsibility for our own perceptions, "I see hell, but it ain't part of me. Sorry I ain't taking no responsibility for making it real!"

It is so easy and comforting to know that it’s ‘others’ who cause all the havoc and chaos in the world, since your fear and hatred are quietly tucked away in a safe place (unconscious) and your "spirituality" aids in this denial of responsibility.

It’s their greed, insensitivity and ignorance that makes the world a truly despicable experience (notice I didn’t say “place” since space-coordinates make it easy to dissociate from experience). It’s their lack of love that creates a world of violence and cruelty. If they would just get their act together we could all live happily ever after. It’s not you, it’s them!

I mean, for crying out loud, can’t everyone see how spiritually humble you are? Geez!

The idea that you need simply detach from your perceptions of others, or the associative belief system that determines your judgments of others, and be free of their crap is an idea bordering on absurdity. As if that were even possible. Ha!

But this is your knee-jerk response and this type of spiritual bypassing is no different from the ‘I got mine’ consumeristic attitude which has resulted in our current economic collapse and quite possibly the end of the world as we know it.

If you see aspects of hell, then clearly you believe hell is possible and therefore, it is your experience, no matter who you perceive as manifesting a particular aspect of hell, thereby, permitting you to blame them for your experience and massage your humble innocent egoic self.

The ego’s need to insure and prove its innocence is downright nauseating and it's all over the damn place.

Time to get real.

If The World is "Illusion" Can I Quit My Job?

I often peruse the spiritual blogs, some of which are rather popular. You’ll find many great sentiments expressed. Mostly, however, they are buried in ideological frames of reference.

The ones I like the most are, “you are not an ego.” Or here’s my all time fave, “you are not a body.” Or, how about, “the world is an illusion.” Ha! Don’t tell me, tell my arthritis!

Yea, Okay, I get all that transcendent stuff. But then, I think, “okay, so I’m not a body. Does that mean I don’t have to lift my ‘body’ outa this bed at 5 am to get to work on time?”

I suppose some folks are ready to hear this stuff and I guess it all depends on where you’re at. As for me, it just doesn’t relate to my experience. I’d prefer they simply teach, “your are not in debt.”

Or, in relation to the body, “you are not a body that must diet.” Actually, I only need to lose about 15 lbs, so maybe, “you are not a body that must lose 15 lbs.” Now these are teachings I could relate to and live my life by.

I just wonder why they need us to go from 0-60 before we even leave the garage. It seems to smack of hypocrisy. I mean, here I am trying not to be a “body,” while at the same time stuffing my face.

I kinda liked the western existential philosophers, like Sartre, Marcel, Heidegger, et al. These guys seemed to know that it was the stuff of everyday experience that needed to be examined fully and eventually reformatted or even deconstructed. Like, you are not a consumer, or employee, taxpayer, homeowner, etc, etc, even eventually to the point where our more revered roles such as father, mother, daughter, husband, needed to be deconstructed and even stripped away.

I think all this ego-body transcendence needs to be more grounded in experiential reality before we head for the clouds.

Don’t tell me "you're not an ego," as I fork over $250 to participate in this retreat, because I’ll prove that we’re both ego’s in demanding your ego give it back. Ha!