Things are slowly unraveling.
Watch how the ego-self struggles to maintain its structure. It will fight to hold onto the self-construct, demanding that the avenues of self-actualization remain OPEN.
Yet soon, it will be abundantly clear that the ego-games of "life" no longer sustain, no longer fulfill... can no longer be counted on for your egocentric identity.
The infinite player is prepared, while the finite player may be in for a powerful dose of suffering from failure to self-actualize through what it "knows" as "real" and "true."
Egocentric identification is always maintained through engaging the ego-games the world provides. Playing by the rules, "you" seek to accumulate ‘rewards and this is how you know your “self.” This is how existence is experienced. You engage in the games of the world in order to achieve the outcomes from which you will weave the story of “you.”
Yet, when the ego-games can no longer be sustained and when identification can no longer be achieved through the games, how will you play? What rules will you follow?Who will you be? How will you know your existence? What will become of the STORY of “you”? In what way will you engage your ‘self’ and others?
When money, career, ownership, possessions etc, etc, NO longer work as a means of identification, what will you turn to as means of defining your life and your self?
Will you turn to drugs and alcohol to anesthetize you hopelessness, your disillusionment, your suffering? What games will be played when the rules NO longer protect you? Will you turn to God (found mostly in foxholes and prison cells) to alleviate your helplessness?
Or will you deeply and fully engage those around you as a means of knowing your 'self'? Will you dump your dogmatic bullsheit or clasp ever more tightly to the objects of your crumbling self-concept?
The finite player has always weaved his/her ego-self fabric from the cloth provided. He/She weaves no unique or genuine garments, not provided from the world. Hence, interwoven deep within that fabric is always a pervasive sense of fear in the realization that the fabric is held together by invisible thread and thus…
…not held together at all and ready to unravel at any moment.
That moment is approaching.
Yet, the infinite player, of life’s ego-games, is not deluded by the static nature of his or her self. They are aware of the fragile strands of a fabric weaved out of nothingness. They are not victimized by the ego-self’s inherent vulnerability and experience invulnerability in every game they play.
The infinite player will NOT suffer through the loss of self-identity because they have been playing with loss for many years. They have been constructing and deconstructing all along. They have become experts of egocentric dissociation and de-realization. They have taken the time to unravel the egocentric threads, only to sew it back up... and unravel it again.
Hence, although the ego-centered fear is growing for you and I…
…they have NO fear. They have been there, done that.
Their egocentric identity may seem as intact and impermeable as the self-structure of our own identities. They seem just like you or I. Yet, the infinite player has expertly conditioned him/her self to fully experience self-dissolution and non-attachment. They have invoked the disassembly and deeply and fully engaged the nothingness from which the self-identity is woven.
They see what it’s ALL made of….
So when your self-development methods NO longer work wonders in the recognition of the futility of egocentric development. When your self-actualizing needs turn to basic survival issues, when all the strands of your identity have been torn loose from their threads, leaving tattered patches all balled up on the filthy tiled floor of life…
….there will be an infinite player around to show you…
…how fooking hilarious it’s ALL been from the very start.
And you may again remember to laugh.
Very much appreciated. No need to return comment. Thanks for your writings.
ReplyDeleteLarry
To infinity and beyond .. lol
ReplyDelete