Planned Obsolesence: When the Spirit Moves Me (and not one moment before)

I like the saying, "when the spirit moves me" cause that tends to be my modus operandi. Most peeps feel this is lazy or irresponsible, so indebted to 'control' as they are, but it does assert that I don't have a fooking clue as to what "I-me" should be doing, as opposed to all the ones who 'know.'

Yet, I'm continuously informed that ego-self will have none of that, gritting and grinding over "necessary" junk, reminding you "yea, go ahead and say that to your boss, ha!"

Egocentricity, or that tightly contained box of beliefs "you" call "I-me," likes to churn out all kinds of projects through which to "self-actualize."

But those projects aren't really useless cause you do need to perpetuate the belief that  "you" exist and that's basically the only purpose they serve.

Nevertheless, your egocentricity is nothing more than a "Planned Obsolescence." Like any artificially designed product, it will break down when the warranty runs out. Luckily, you are approaching that infamous end-date. But note how rigidly you seek to avoid your own "obsolescence." Note how important it is that you continue to be "you."

Let's face it, you can only hold off so long before it all becomes laughingly ridiculous.

Self-actualization is merely the process of continuing to believe "you" exist (with apologies to Maslow). You have to do all kinds of self-actualizing crapola everyday because, when you really examine it closely, existence is such a weak and tenuous idea (although you take it as a given). Other than your body, you really have no other concrete reference point. No other 'physical' actuality to "I-me." Nothing more to stake a claim on other than a scripted mass of dramatic bullsheit that you claim "important" stuff to your "life."

Everyday ego-self has to do things to confirm itself as a real "self" (or something as opposed to nothing). Constant struggle and hard work is needed to affirm the "I-me" concept, but you call it normal everyday functioning. Like getting angry, bored, tired, cheerful, depressed, happy, sick, indignant, peaceful, wired, wigged-out, harmonious, freaky, goofy, spontaneous, thoughtful, compassionate, friendly, loving, resentful, etc, etc, etc. These states of being are your "gravity." They keep you grounded into an "I-me" reference point, but have no other usefulness than that, regardless of your dramatic boo-hooing in protection of the self.

Then there's the work of justifying the rightness and wrongness, or good and bad, of what it's choosing as a means of self-actualizing in the moment. Like a few minutes ago my boss pissed me off and, obviously, I have every 'reason' to justify my pissed-offness! And this confirms, not that "I AM," but that I AM... 'pissed-off!' This reliance on 'emotion' helps me 'hammer down' the I Am as an I AM..as something.

Ahhh...egocentricity in all it's grandiose, ridiculous glory! Are you NOT laughing yet? Of course not! That would spell your doom...

Ego-self doesn't consider it's anger or pissed-offness as self-actualizing. Rather, it believes peace and kumbaya "happy" are self-actualizing. But, every time you jet out your rage, on some violator of your kumbaya, you're self-actualizing. Every instance of rage or resentment, or whatever, is another instance of egocentricity asserting a "self' into the  blank ether of nothingness as a means of achieving somethingness, even though nothingness doesn't budge an inch and couldn't care less what something your fixated on as a means of defining yourself.

Just because ego-self doesn't see it this way don't mean squat to the self-actualization and self-development you thrust upon the world and 'others' on a daily basis. It's all self-actualizing, no matter what comes out your mouth or rolls around in your head. "Fuck you!" is as self-actualizing to egocentricity as "I love you." Both have the same purpose. Both are nothing more than insubstantial attempts to assert the "I-me-mine" as "real." It makes no difference if it's actually true, since just the act of injecting a "self" into your mind makes it true for "you" (which has NO truth to it whatsoever, since you make up all kinds of bullsheit in your mind). Therefore, your "I love you" is as tenuous and inconsequential as "fuck you!" They both serve as means of self-actualizing, but have no other value to an ego-self.

This is the primordial fact of egocentricity. Doesn't matter what you inject, as long as you're injecting something into nothing, because there can never be just nothing.

To realize nothing would obviously be the death of you. So you fully engage space/time as a means of actualizing emptiness. You jack your "self' up all over the damn place, hoping 'something' will finally grant you some semblance of peace and happiness. But one day you will be slapped squarely in the face with the fact that nothing does or ever will.

You're on your own Bubba louey!

So go ahead and try injecting 'nothing' into all those special 'somethings' that you hold so dear. Nope, won't work.

You can't do it can you?

Keep trying....



Artwork by Ricardo Salmanca - "untitled"