Dancing on a Pinhead of Guilt...

Holy frickin' sheit did I get alot of "important" crap done today!

"Thank God" for that, cause what value could I possibly extract from "existing" if I had NOT completed the pseudo-necessary tasks that insure that "I-me" really does exist? Who would I be if I didn't go to work and pay my bills as required?

What would "you" be if you could not do the things you "need" to do that assure to "you" that you're most certainly, without a doubt, "alive" and somebody? That, because of the sheit you do, whether mindless or not, harmful or harmless, you "exist"? What other measuring stick do you have to prove your "self" real, but the jiggy-poo sheit you "do" and feel all comfy-cozy about when you git're done? Other than what "you" do, who are you? Who or what could you be beyond the actions and behaviors that define "you"?

Did you get lotsa important sheit done today? At work? Did you finally pay that bill? Do you feel all peaches and cream cause you got a lower rate on your mortgage? Did you get the lawn cut and the hedges trimmed? When are you gonna get the oil changed in the Hummer, not to mention wash and wax? How can you sleep at night knowing the gutters need cleaning and your kids need braces? Are you finally getting those marble counter tops? Did you finally file that court case against your greedy siblings for taking all dead grannies money? When you drop your empty skull on the pillow tonight, will you worry about the sheit that "needs" to get done, or will you drop off into nirvana-land in the peace and tranquility of knowing you completed all necessary tasks that assert your right to be a "happy" self-actualized human being? Or will racing thoughts taunt you over the absolute need to get this done and that done?

Egocentrics are bound to the "doing," without which they have no idea of being alive and NO idea of who or what they even ARE? What would you be if your existence wasn't defined by the silly horsesheit you have been brainwashed into believing must get done everyday?

Just the other day I saw a book called "Exercises for Non-duality."

Huh?

Whether you're doing for your "self" or doing for another (which is always just another watered-down form of self-actualizing) "you" have NO idea of what you ARE unless you're doing something that seems as if it is "you" as the "doer," and that the "doing" is "good." Obviously, when that 'doing' is "bad," you're a big sheit and you know it! But doing nothing is a recipe for chronic GUILT, even though you seem NO less guilty even with everything you've done all these years.

Aren't you proud of all the grand sheit you've done in your life? Do you have a college degree? What would you be without reference to all your past actions and behaviors? Have you finally found your "soulmate"? Was the divorce finalized yesterday (but you're still not sure if momma will give you the 6 grand for lawyers fees?). Are you stocking up for 2012? (but quietly, cause you don't want to look like a fool if nothing happens?).

So go ahead and try doing absolutely nothing for a week. That's right, for one week sit on your ass and watch the weeds grow. Can you do it joyfully? Of course not, cause eventually waves of guilt will wash over you. Life demands "you" do certain "things" in order to get that wrap-around butt tap from God.

The egocentric self concept/image/belief is impounded by values collected from years of "self-development" and reversing that effect is tantamount to preparing for death. But then, what else are "you" but a mechanistic body-mind whose chief raison d' etre (reason for being) is "doing" all kinds of jiggy-poo sheit up to the last breath? But what for? You really haven't the slightest idea. But that doesn't obstruct the "doing."

"It's nice here with a view of the trees
Eating with a spoon
They don't give you knives
'Spect you watch those trees
Blowing in the breeze
We want to see you lead a normal life"
(Peter Gabriel)

Alas, I'm gonna get inundated by all kinds of spiritual roughnecks (and believe me, the spiritualists are the most fanatical egocentric 'doers' when it comes to protecting their precious kumbaya belief systems) demanding that I recognize the value of the "existence" of every "human being," as if "human beings" had some absolute definition of value beyond an elephant or an amoeba, rather than the relative "lifestyles" we currently define ourselves through that hold no universal importance except to the one "living" it. Hence, it makes absolutely NO difference what "you" do, except...to "you" (and the few you've surrounded your "self" with who believe the same horsesheit).

Let's face it, my friends, "you" hold no value and thus the system of values that seems to hold you up through your "days" between birth and death, with all that must get done, is as worthless as the "package of beliefs" (Freud) you insist is definitely, without a doubt, "you." Eventually it all must crumble unto dust as it always does. Hence, as sad as it is to say, what you "do" is as worthless as "you." Other than a bag of bones in slow perpetual rot what the fook are "you"?

Without doubt, the foundation is always GUILT and that is what DEFINES you on a daily basis.

Guilt literally keeps you alive because, day by day, moment by moment your head is busy evaluating the right or wrongnesss of what "you" DO. The "good" or "bad" of your actions is your defining principle based on socially conditioned beliefs. Guilt gives you your ONLY reason to exist and though you know NOT why you exist, you continue to perseverate, ruminate and grit and grind on the failure of your existing as REQUIRED, even though your utter confusion as to "why" is what chisels you down, day after day, into little smelly fish-heads, doing all manner of important relative sheit that, in the end, means absolutely NOTHING. This is what makes people "sheeple" and why "you" will never be anything more than GUILTY. Mindlessness requires guilt and guilt literally is the core of your existence.

Never will egocentricity LOOK to 'why,' only 'how,' because the moment "you" deeply examine the 'why,' the 'how' dissolves instantly without even a whimper.

But it does tend to take "you" with it....


Artwork by Christopher Haines