Thursday, January 24, 2013

Gonna Wipe that Gray Right Outa Your Brain...

We are extremely pleased to announce a new and revolutionary form of therapy that will put an end to all your suffering and give you the peace that passeth all understanding.

UnReality Therapy...

UnReality Therapy begins with the premise that “true” and “real” are simply concepts and there is nothing either true or real outside your head.

You have superimposed upon your experiences all the meaning they have for you. You have simply weaved together neural networks of socially derived and constructed meanings and values into a tangled web of complex and contradictory electrochemical impulses that you naively refer to as thoughts and emotions, but that entirely rule your life.

When thoughts and emotions are generated through such a tangled mass of competing circuitry, you are never upset or happy for the reason you “think.” Actually, “you” have nothing to do with it and will never fully understand why you think and feel the way you do, causing you to do the sheit you do, day after day. You have only the barest notion of what you want, not just from day to day, but from moment to moment.

Everything you SEE must pass through the visual cortex, which itself is linked up with memory circuits that immediately fire upon stimulation giving you a meaning-based experience which is then attributed to whatever is perceived, completely neglecting the fact that what you see is defined exclusively by circuitry. You would have absolutely no idea what a “tree” is if memory circuits did not automatically light up in tandem with imprints upon the visual cortex. Without the circuitry informing you that the figure standing before you is, in fact, your husband, how would you ever know who to be angry with when your conceptualized “love” circuits have not been adequately stimulated in ‘meaningful’ ways? And good grief, you’d run around spanking ever misbehaving child if you had no circuits to inform you of which little cretin you actually owned.

Nevertheless, even though neuro-circuitry is necessary for various survival tasks, it also can lead to long periods of chronic unhappiness and disappointment unless networks are effectively stimulated to reroute dysfunctional thought-emotive networks and extinguish stale and useless conditioned pathways. Do you really KNOW what a tree is or do you simply know the experience your brain provides? But is that really a tree? Do you really know your husband or simply the circuitry that allows you to perceive him in the exact same way all the time? Can you genuinely relate to the joys of your children or does the circuitry only generate anxiety about their feral behaviors? Are you really engaged with your world and the people you love or does neuro-chemically magnified fear impede your ability to live joyfully?

Through UnReality Therapy you can learn to SEE the world in a way that lets its meaning be given to you, rather than the unnecessary predictability of incessantly superimposing your neuro-circuits upon the world and, thereby, only experiencing your beaten down and paranoid gray matter. No longer must you grit and grind over ridiculous tasks, care a hoot about purposeless social responsibilities or be constantly discouraged that you fail to meet unnatural expectations just because everybody else is doing it.

No more worries, because we’re gonna wipe that gray right outa you’re brain!

Through our revolutionary techniques of extinguishing old dysfunctional circuits (90% of all your circuits are essentially useless except to mindlessly stare at TV and computer screens for hours on end) you can learn to see the world with awe and wonder. Through our patented Neuro-Dissolving strategies you will be amazed at the beauty of a world you have not experienced since childhood (now long since forgotten), simply because you demanded it conform to your conditioned circuits and all its exhausting rules and laws. People will fill you with joy as you see them completely free and clear of all your prejudicial and judgmental neuro pathways. Believe me, my friends, when the circuits have been cleaned the world will literally bend to meet you with nothing but love, because your socially-defined concepts of “love” will be wiped entirely…clean!


With our patented Neuro-Blocking application fear will be a thing of the past! (because your past will be no more).

After completing the rerouting and extinguishing processes  we will insert our patented "Neuro-Stints" to block fear circuits from forming and joining up with other circuitry. Never again will you experience guilt from your profoundly ignorant judgments of other people, nor anxiety by not conforming to useless social rituals. No longer will you experience self-esteem depreciation because you’re driving an 1999 Huyndai, while your neighbor drives a 2012 Escalade with spinning hubs. We have wiped you clean and purposeless social displays and performances are gone for good! (it was all uselessly fake anyway)

The fact is, ladies and gentlemen, neuroscience is demonstrating that more than half of all brain neuro-circuitry has actually evolved from old fear-based survival circuits. Now you no longer fear the saber tooth tiger, but your beer-bellied belligerent boss and his threat to fire you if you don't kiss his rotund ass. Well not to worry, because after completing our full spectrum of neuro-processes, he’ll be getting a big bear hug for your pink slip as the excitement of unemployment evokes new levels of raucous joy.

My friend, it’s all in the neuro-circuitry and through our patented UnReality Therapy you will find joy in everything you do (and don’t do). 

No longer will the guilt of not living up to social expectations interfere with your ability to jump for joy when your car’s repossessed and who’s to say foreclosing on your mortgage is NOT a beautiful day! Make no mistake, our processes will wipe that silly “American Dream” right out of your head, because there’s nothing “real” or “true” about it. Just neuro-fantasies that you were conventionally conditioned to believe “real” and “true.” Wouldn’t it be great to have no cares or worries about “money” anymore? We make it a reality! Because money and wealth are dysfunctional circuits that have only resulted in nothing but stress, anxiety and guilt and have served no other purpose.

You have never seen reality, only your neuro-circuited interpretation of a “reality” you were taught to believe is “true” and “real.” Fortunately, my friends, it’s simply NOT THERE. Look around you. Do you really believe all this surreal absurdity is real? In your world of utter hypocrisy and contradiction, what is really true? Do you often feel as if you just don’t belong, like this is not your home and not where you’re supposed to be?

There is a world out there, just not the one you “think” you’re in. There is a world waiting for you to love and enjoy, if you could only see it without your neuro-circuitry, without your socially conditioned preconceived notions superimposed upon sensory impulses giving you distorted and dysfunctional conceptions of what is true and real.

It’s like a bad dream. But no worries, you made it all up and we are here to wake you up!

Artwork by wolfepaw -  "Your Brain of Fractals"


  1. Fish thoughts visualized:

    I dont see anyone in there doing it.

  2. Ha!

    Fish thoughts...