Same As It Ever Was....

Why do egocentrics hate themselves so much? Why are they always seeking escape from who and what they are? What’s so bad about egocentricity? what is the driving need to find some ideological exit door to some utopic afterlife?

Get back to where you once belonged...

Oh sure, you’re self-centered and self-absorbed, demanding attention, victim to your desires. You’re oblivious, laughingly ignorant and often cruel and, even in your most charitable exchanges with other people, there is not a nano-second when you’re not thinking of your “self" (you never lose sight of "you"). The stress of keeping the scattered and unrelated pieces of your loosely defined and deluded self-concept together is often literally exhausting, in the recognition it could all crumble into a heap with the slightest change in the weather (and frequently does just that, as you scramble to re-connect the pieces once again).

But that’s the nature of egocentricity.

Why resist your nature?

What should “you” be? Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent?

Dang, what a drag, but go ahead, if that's where the circuits lead you. “You” can be that too, depending on how you’re wired up in the noggin.’

Nevertheless, one of the most universal aspects of all egocentrics IS their omnipresent desire to escape themselves. To transcend or transform. To be something other than egocentric. The incessant desire for self-development into something they are not is indicative of a universal disgust with egocentricity. You can never truly love yourself, simply because it's not in your nature and besides, "you" invented the concept of "love" in the first place. Does nature give a fook about "love"?

But even all that is folded up into the nature of egocentricity.

Does an elephant wish to leap like a gazelle? Does the squirrel constantly suffer through its neurotic pursuit of nuts, wishing life would be better if it could only find truffles? Are bears incessantly annoyed about shitting in the woods, hoping one day for conveniently located porta-potties?

So why do egocentrics want to be other than egocentric? Nature provides NO choice to it’s progeny. Everything does what it’s supposed to do, living out its nature, and the chief preoccupation of egocentrics is to make “important” choices. Doesn't matter that your choices are useless and deluded. You still gotta make 'em anyway.

Hence, the ultimate nature of egocentricity is to make choices in the belief its choices matter. You do this everyday and you don’t even think about it cause it’s as natural as a bear shitting in the woods.

Ever notice how your choices, though seemingly different in form, seem to repetitively give you the same content? Oh sure, you could win the lottery and get all jiggy for a few days. But eventually, the neuro-circuitry takes over and you’ll drop back to your baseline and be what you’re wired up to be, experiencing the world as you always have.

However, there are some egocentrics that couldn’t give a rat’s ass about choices, knowing that choices made are not at all up to him/her (and they don't sheit in the woods as far as I'm aware. At least not regularly).

This type of life-engagement has been referred to as Infinite Play (as opposed to Finite Play in which making “right” choices is absolutely critical to egocentric well-being and takes up ones entire existence). Of course, Infinite Players make egocentric choices, but they tend to react equally to both good and bad choices, which tends to dissolve the difference (hard to describe, cause an Infinite Player never admits to being one).

They tend to make choices with little concern for outcome in the recognition that it’s not up to them, so why worry.

Infinite Players accept egocentricity in all it’s glorious, hellacious bullsheit. I watched one just the other day get all pissed off and cursed his head off cause his phone went dead on an “important” call. He then immediately laughed about how well he did 'pissed off,' responding, "damn, did ya see that! ha!"

Infinite Players play with their egocentricity and are not played by it.

Many complain about being victim to the world, but Infinite Players know that they can only be victim to egocentricity. The world has nothing to do with it. Hence, they are neither victims of the world or their egocentricity.

Infinite Players recognize that even though they will continue to keep ‘doing’ sheit, like they always have, there is absolutely nothing that need be done.

So go ahead, do what you feel compelled to do, because it’s not up to you. You're gonna do it anyway.

Just let the days go by….


You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
You may ask yourself, how do I work this?
You may ask yourself, where is that large automobile?
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was  

Artwork by Yue Minjun

The Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane [you aren't alone]
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley, [often go awry]
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promised joy. (Robert Burns)

I have no idea what will happen after writing this sentence. Oh sure, I have a repertoire of what I want to happen and what I don't want to happen (and it looks like I just went ahead and wrote the next sentence, beat that!). But not one ounce of certainty as to what will happen and that’s certain. Whatever happens I may interpret as good or bad, but that really doesn’t make a difference to what actually happens, cause something is bound to happen and something happens all the time. I will most likely interpret my 'self' as cause of much of what happens, but all I can really count on is just a succession of neuro-circuit influences continually bringing me to a 'happening.'

This then begs the question, if your life is a series of happenings, then the only choice you have is in your response to that stimuli? But then, if you are utterly defined by your responses, are your responses truly yours or are they simply indoctrinated influences, originating from birth, that have defined your responses up to death by sculpting neuro-circuit networks?

“One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is, is three or four big days that change everything.” (Beverly Donofrio)

Your most well laid plans, all those years of hard work and struggle toward that illustrious goal, can come crashing down simply through the consequence of an apocalyptic sneeze while driving on the interstate.

Nevertheless, the primary avocation of egocentricity is CONTROL. Nothing else matters, because the “pain/pleasure principle” demands it. You move away from pain and toward pleasure. Some circuits cause pleasure, some pain. So it seems your job is to redirect the electrochemical currents (problem is, you sometimes don’t know the difference). You’re wired for this.

Yet, deep down (most likely in the brain stem) all egocentrics understand their complete lack of control and, hence, turn to an ideological afterlife through which they fantasize of achieving complete control (if only through an absence of anything to control) in which all desires will be miraculously met.

This is it my friends. There is nothing else. No afterlife. No infinite eternity. Nothing else but what you got and what you will continue to get. Experience is NOW and is completely egocentric. Not tomorrow because, as we all recognize, tomorrow may never come. But egocentrics don’t like to “think” about that for some reason. If this is all there is, then nothing you do in this life makes a spit of difference.

Stop fighting your egocentricity and taste the freedom...

Heisenberg’s "Uncertainty Principle" basically states that you never know what’s gonna happen. But you can always be certain something will happen, you just can’t predict ‘what’ with any degree of certainty because your predictions alter what happens in ways you can’t predict. You can predict probabilities, based on past outcomes. Yet, all probabilities must essentially affect other probabilities which, in turn, affect other probabilities, making the measurement of your life’s direction obscure and basically useless.

It’s your predictions that obfuscate any chance of surprise and make your life an utter cesspool of abject routine boredom.

Nevertheless, this is what you predict and what you’re in constant preparation for experiencing. It does seem that even though your life changes, there is a predictable undercurrent that remains the same and gives you generally the same egocentric experiences day after day.

"Flies in the Vaseline, we are. Sometimes it blows my mind. Keep getting stuck here all the time" (Stone Temple Pilots)

I will admit to an unusual, and somewhat strange sense of "understanding" when you finally get that there is no way out and there never has been.

But then egos become free simply to be egos, which is all you can ever be until death do you part. It’s what your wired up for. You can be a big ego (like me!) or a little ego. You can be a sociopathic ego or a save-the-world ego. You can be a guru ego, an "asleep" ego, an "awakened" ego, etc, etc, but you will always be... ego.

But egos don't like this, for some peculiar reason, and continue to run around trying to extract themselves from themselves. They read umpteen spiritual books (yo-yoing from one "master" to another), watch innumerable "enlightened" videos, engage in a lifetime of seeking the next "spiritual practice" and fixate on one "transcendence" ideology after another in the hope they will one day generate an experience that will immediately (like a bolt of lightening!) inform that they are not what they are, because they are now something different.

Silly, I know, but it's been going on for centuries...

Artwork by Igor Mosrski

The Disenchanting Egocentric Dream of Meaningful Delusions

Many have seen the WHOLE dream, but most spend a lifetime attempting to understand and accommodate to this maladaptive perception.

Fluctuating periods of macabre dissociation pop-up for the un-accommodated, simply because they fail to recognize they are IN a process of accommodating. Rather, many experience a morose depression from interpreting a cascade of disappointments and do not realize that their disillusionment is necessary.

Whether you label it a dream, illusion, delusion, Maya, unreality, dualism, universal consciousness, or whatever, it makes little difference since concepts only have illusory patents anyway. You can argue that the “world” is real or illusion till the cows come home, but your conceptual interpretations are nothing but electrochemical spasms designed to adapt to perceptive sensation and it is through those concepts that you experience anything at all. Experience is never devoid of concept.

You have never had an experience you could not, or did not conceptualize. Reality is not experienced through sensation, but only through concepts superimposed upon sensation. An un-conceptualized sensation is like a fart on a windy day. A non-memorable event.

For many there does seem to be a feeling of detachment from the usual learned aspirations that most center their lives around. There is a general dissociation from conventional value systems dredged up from the past associations. Most get little further than this nagging sense of meaninglessness, with meaningful purposes fading like fog on a sunny morning. A sense that all endeavors do not lead to fulfillment but only result in further disappointment. Most will attempt to invest heavily in a particular sociocultural aspect, hanging on for dear life.

Once the disenchanted disillusionment sets in, egocentricity works diligently to avoid attaining any substantial understanding from that experience. There is a constant yo-yoing between egocentric goals and seeing the emptiness of all conditioned aspirations. Hence, egocentrics will struggle mightily in anchoring to some sustaining value system, conventional or cultish, religious or spiritual, political or philosophical. Some distinct cause or reason must be chosen for which to fill time by giving time meaning. Meaningless time cannot be experienced (which is why "being in the moment" is meaningless (if you’re in the moment and it’s ‘meaningful,’ then you’ve obviously missed the point by conceptualizing it).

This can be a difficult period and can last many years, even a lifetime, and is very limited in anchor points or concepts for which to define the experience.

Yet, this is only preliminary, because “you” are NOT the dreamer. Hence, the dreamer cannot be part OF the dream, but is utterly fixated and under the control of the ‘meaningful’ delusions it dreams up. 

A constant nagging uneasiness with status-quo convention tends to gradually percolate throughout the circuitry from which a new understanding begins to take over, rerouting messages and constructing new experiences within the dream. Hence, one has not left the dream or transcended the experience of dreaming, but clearly sees its full nature as a whole, rather than distraction with the parts .This is NOT "awakening" or "enlightenment." It is merely a transitional period of accommodating to a new type of perception that can assimilate a complete lack of any meaning to the whole. Hence, preferences tend to dissolve, since past associations no longer direct perception. Without a full spectrum of meanings, perception would simply NOT know what, or even how, to ‘perceive’ anything whatsoever. Temporarily losing the capacity to ‘discriminate' is a type of ego death and has occurred for many, but only briefly.

Unfortunately, all this is outside your realm of control. There’s little you can do and this gives “you” a sense of being controlled from an external force that is not “you” (hence, the concept of “God”).

“You” are NOT the dreamer, but the dream and, hence, you're seeking your source. The purpose of the dream is to locate the dreamer.

This usually runs up and down the spectrum from intense excitement to utter boredom to penetrating fear to chaotic confusion and back up the ladder once again. Most likely this has been occurring for you over a period of many years (but if you’ve been “diagnosed” then you may fail to recognize it). It is hard to pinpoint the exact transitional moment, because the past is receding (as so much becomes meaningless, the past obviously loses flavor and fails to direct perception down the usual avenues). No one evades or escapes this experience. They just interpret it away until it becomes too difficult to resist.

Most of the modern “mystics” who claim “awakening” have merely attained a momentary glimpse of the WHOLE dream and not just the parts they prefer or disdain. Discriminating or judging between parts is what we all do. But to take in the whole is a different experience entirely. This is what the mystics talk about. Yet, many tend to mistake this for “awakening,” “enlightenment” or non-duality, because it is a complete jolt to the neuro-circuits, thereby, involuntarily redirecting perception (even shutting it down for a brief time). These descriptions do a disservice in attempting to apply ‘rules’ to the experience, but there is always an incredible desire to share what cannot be shared because it does not adhere to the rules of dreaming. However, all conceptual interpretations must adhere to rules.

The most that can be said is that it will come to you when you’re ready, but you can never know when that is and, therefore, preparation based on years of prediction, requiring rules of action or thought, are utterly useless (although they do well too fill up time).

In the disenchanting dream of meaningful delusions, only ONE can awaken.

But first you have to find the dreamer.

Artwork by grohsARtig - "THE INDISPENSABILITY OF DREAMS"

The Certainty of Every Choice Ever Made

Out you popped, from your utopic slimy existence, only to be compelled to employ muscles to accept rancid air. Your senses sprang to life and immediately microscopic neurons started to branch out into umpteen billion electrochemical connections.

You had no choice in this process, because choice was not yet installed ("choice" is exclusively egocentric). You were influenced by sights and sounds not of your choice and people, whom you did not choose, influenced each and every circuit in your noggin. You were a complete and utter victim of your environment and the actions/reactions of your bodily states. You sheit and pissed without discrimination and when hungry you howled in pain till the mushed peas were shoved down your gullet.

Nevertheless, even in your minimal egoic state, those in your care anxiously anticipated those wondrous moments when you would begin to exhibit your glorious egocentric “personality." They dutifully trained you to become a unique and separate egocentric like them, but different (in cooperation with the genetic DNA they unconsciously blessed and cursed you with). You had no choice in this egocentric instruction and even when the day finally came and “you” made the ultimate distinction between “them” and “me,” that distinction was packed full of judgments of your “self” by your “self” that you had no participation in altering or adjusting, other than to express what was writ upon you.

You were told do this, not that, act this way, not that way, be this and definitely never that. Values unfolded into a neuro-web of tangled circuits all criss-crossing and shorting others out, while intensifying the current of others.  Models appeared, mirroring the behaviors you would mimic. Egocentricity blossomed and you reveled in it. Your childhood ecstasy of wonder and awe was distinctly coupled with perceiving the world as an “I-me.”

Before that there was nothing.

You allowed all of this to happen because you had no choice. Although you seemed to make decisions, your life moved in directions clearly not of you. But off you went anyway…tra la la...

Most of your childhood was influenced by a series of sensations completely outside the purview of any control you could ever assert. Of course, you did seek to apply control (in direct accordance with your egocentric training) and offset ‘chance’ events through preparation and prediction skills, but much more powerful forces honed and shaped even those brief moments of self-assertion in ways you had no control over. In fact, you have been trained to be almost totally oblivious to your complete lack of control and you had nothing to do with that either. Whether you were showered with love or beat mercilessly (or a little of both) outside processes influenced your neural development and channeled you directly to this very moment right now.

Do you believe you had a “choice” in reading this blog post right now? Note how egocentricity must always insist you did.

Indeed, we cannot argue that you did make that choice, but why did you make it just now? Was that choice available before you made it? What other choices were not made that could have been made? Was that specific choice merely waiting to be made, in the certainty that it would be made at the moment it was, because of the choices that preceded it? What choice preceded this choice, from this moment now, all the way back to your first breathe?

Could it be that all your separate choices are merely parts of an entire whole? Can you see that whole, or only the choices that seek to influence the parts? Could it be that every choice made was meant to be made so that the next choice could be made as it was, so that the next will be made as it must? 

Does it feel as if there is a “force” beyond your comprehension directing and channeling you down specific avenues that subsequently, at the time, you wish you had chose differently, yet now you see it all as crucial to this moment? If so, are you open to the destiny you’re able to see? Do you understand the pieces that make up the whole? Do you no longer reject some parts as bad or tragic nor long for the parts that were wonderful or good? Has the past lost the capacity to influence the choices you make now because, in seeing the whole, you realize the certainty of all the parts?

Can you accept the CERTAINTY of every choice you have made and will continue to make? 

Egocentric individuality is constructed entirely upon doubt as to what it is and what purpose it must serve between birth and death. Although it struggles to inject various “reasons,” it exists with no real idea of why it was born or why it must die. It exists in a sweltering cauldron of uncertainty and confusion that it must routinely deny or eventually be devoured by. To consider, on a daily basis, your true purpose while, simultaneously recognizing that the purposes you have been engaging in are meaningless, would lead only to deep anguish.

Although they say “the unexamined life is not worth living,” how far down that rabbit hole are you willing to go? To constantly doubt every meaning and truth you’ve been taught can only result in a life of quiet desperation.

Yet, logically, if every choice made was CERTAIN to be made, so that every preceding choice could be made as it must, then egocentricity obviously cannot exist within that certainty and….

….has never really existed at all.


Artwork by Mark Ryden - "Rosie's Tea Party"

The System

So who will you look to as savior now? Who will you "elect" to bring your hopes and dreams to fruition? What personality has the power to finally invoke enduring "change"? And who will eventually betray your dreams? Who will fail to fulfill as only you have come to expect?

The problem is NOT the person, but The System.

Individuality gets sucked up into The System like dust bunnies in a vacuum to be invalidated entirely. The System eventually invalidates all 'individuals' who seek to change or restructure The System.

The System is indestructible and growing exponentially day by day, year by year.

The system demands you seek the "antichrist" and provides many to choose from. Reflections of good and evil pop up like jack-in-the box clowns, easily distracting you from The System. The System actively obfuscates itself into obscurity because it cannot risk your awareness of its ultimate aims and intentions.

But your continued obedience keeps it well fed.

It's a natural symbiosis as The System feeds you, while you feed it. It gives you all your fears so that it can provide a sense of comfort and safety. Every attempt to dissemble The System merely results in a replicating substitution. For instance, did “slavery” ever really end?

Nothing can exist outside The System and even renouncing The System is simply subsumed and incorporated into it. The System distracts and engages, fascinates and enrages. With its nebulously complicated details, all the while it maintains your unconscious allegiance to its universal intent.

Your very desire to be an “individual” demands you allegiance to The System. The System is a labyrinth of complexity aiding in your failure to see its stark simplicity. The System actually reinforces that there is NO exit by providing you seemingly infinite escape hatches that only bring you back into The System.

Everything you identify with is a gift of The System (even, and especially, your "God"). The system provides what you loathe as well as love. The System is always with you, from the moment you wake until you close your eyes in sleep and even your dreams are consumed by what The System provides.

Can you feel it in you? Moving you? Motivating your actions and desires? It breathes life into you and you never tire of thinking of it in all the ways it has determined it should be considered. Because without The System “you” could NOT exist.

It is not the Illuminati or the International Banking Cartel. It’s not the Republicans or The Democrats, conservatives or liberals. It’s not Christians or Muslims. It’s not the government, the CIA, Halliburton, the Rothschild’s, the North Koreans, Al Qaida, your boss, your spouse, your mother-in-law, your dumb-ass neighbor, etc, etc. None of this matters...

It’s The System and everything is merely a part of that WHOLE, acting and behaving as the system requires.

It demands you remain pitifully weak and ignorant by installing saviors who must eventually bow down to The System. Your “Jesus” and “Buddha” were easily assimilated and injected with the chief motivating principles of The System and every leader you choose has been chosen first by The System. Why else would they now be so inconsequential and insignificant? Why else have they not saved the world?

The System invalidates ALL it touches and it touches everything. Nothing is free of The System. That which is free of The System, does not "exist."

Sometimes you fantasize leaving. Sometimes you wish you could get out from under it. That too is Systematized.

But be careful trying to identify it by its parts, because The System is a WHOLE that demands you know it by its parts. It can only be seen clearly by being seen in its TOTALITY and its prime objective is to keep that from occurring at all costs.Look around you and try to identify what is or is NOT a part of it. The System thrives on your intellectual differentiating, your righteous discernment.

The System taught you the very act of "judgment."

The “self” you love so much (and even your “love") is a product of The System. Rest assured, The System “loves” your children more than you ever could and it loves "you" more than you could love yourself. The children are its future and have inherited that role from those before them. Indoctrination into The System is in perpetual motion, never ceasing and always grinding away that which stands before it attempting to impede its goal.

Think of any one thing or entity that is the origin of The System, or that controls the motivations of it, and you will be entirely wrong. Raging against the specific parts that you loathe only reinforces the strength of The System. It is becoming very strong as of lately.

The System consumes “you” as you consume it. There is little choice, because you really have NO concrete conception of who or what “you” are, just tenuous ideas and notions that are easily sucked up into The System. Egocentricity maintains it and will defend it with its life. The System counts on this and this alone for its continued existence.

The System requires you grit and grind over the individuals The System provides. It makes no difference what personality you choose to save you, or to improve your lot in life. It makes no difference who you choose to hate or fear, because the system will eventually invalidate any and all dreams that do not support IT.

The System loves your rage and lives off your fears. To remain an active participant of The System you MUST remain afraid of something, anything. Hence, The System will continue to develop ever more ingenious methods of assuring your safety and protection and you will continue to accept this no matter how increasingly fearful it makes you.

Yet, not to worry, The System will provide you brief periods of respite through entertaining and engaging pursuits and pastimes, which IT provides as you ASK. This serves to intensify your undying allegiance to its universal intent by remaining unconscious to that intent, till death do you part.

A commitment to total unawareness is all that it asks from you and nothing more. Everything else has been taken care of...

Death is the chief control mechanism of The System, but it is not interested in doom or apocalypse, just your continued fear of an END. But the one essential variable that keeps The System well oiled and fully operational is your hope for "change."

The System has NEVER changed, but it is most certainly growing in strength and your meticulously informed ignorance insures that its growth will continue unabated in perpetuity.

See all of it in WHOLE or you simply won't see The System at all.

Artwork by Anton Semenov - "Society"

This a re-post originally posted Dec 28, 2011

Wasting Time....

Out you popped from your utopic fluid existence, only to be compelled to employ muscles to suck in rancid air. Your senses sprang to life and immediately microscopic neurons started to branch out into umpteen billion electrochemical connections.


You had no choice in this process, because choice was not yet part of the circuitry. You were a complete and utter victim of your environment, and all who populated it, and this included the actions/reactions of your body. You sheit and pissed without discrimination and when hungry you howled in pain till the peas, that you now loathe, were shoved down your gullet.

Nevertheless, even in your minimal egoic state, those in your care anxiously anticipated those wonderful moments when you would begin to exhibit your glorious egocentricity “personality” and, adept in their own egocentric skills, dutifully trained you to become a unique and separate egocentric (in cooperation with the genetic DNA they unconsciously blessed and cursed you with). You had no choice in this egocentric instruction and even when the day finally came and “you” made the ultimate distinction between “them” and “me,” that distinction was packed full of judgments on your “self,” by your “self,” that you had no participation in constructing, other than to express what was writ upon you.

You were told do this, not that, act this way, not that way, be this and definitely never that. Value circuits unfolded into a neuro-web and models appeared, mirroring the behaviors you would mimic.

Egocentricity blossomed and you reveled in it. Your childhood ecstasy of wonder and awe was distinctly coupled with perceiving the world as an “I-me.”

Before that, there was nothing (and "nothing" is a very frightening idea now).

You allowed all of this to happen because you had no choice.

Your childhood was influenced by a series of sensations, most of them completely outside the purview of any control you could ever assert. Of course, you did seek to apply control, in adherence to your egocentric training, and offset ‘chance’ events through preparation and prediction skills, but much more powerful forces honed and shaped even those brief moments of self-assertion in ways you had no control over. In fact, you have been trained to be completely oblivious to your complete lack of control and you had nothing to do with that either. Whether you were showered with love or beat mercilessly (or a little of both) outside processes influenced your neural development and channeled you directly to this very moment right now.

Do you believe you had a “choice” in reading this blog post right now? Why this? Why now?

Indeed, we cannot argue that you did make that choice, but why did you make it just now? Was that choice available before you made it? What other choices were not made that could have been made? Was that specific choice merely waiting to be made, in the certainty that it would be made at the moment it was, because of the choices that preceded it? What choice preceded this choice, from this moment now, all the way back to your first breathe?

Could it be that all your separate choices are merely parts of a whole?

Can you see that whole, or only the choices that seek to influence the parts? Could it be that every choice made was meant to be made so that the next choice could be made as it was, so that the next will be made as it must?

Does it feel as if there is a “force” beyond your comprehension directing and channeling you down specific avenues that subsequently, at the time, you wish you had chose differently, yet now, you see it all as crucial to this moment? If so, are you open to the destiny you’re able to see? Do you understand the pieces that make up the whole? Do you no longer reject some parts as bad or tragic nor long for the parts that were wonderful or good? Has the past lost the capacity to influence the choices you make now because, in seeing the whole, you realize the certainty of all the parts?

Can you accept the CERTAINTY of every choice you have made and will continue to make?

Egocentric individuality is constructed entirely upon doubt as to what it is and what purpose it must serve between birth and death. Although it struggles to inject a reason, it exists with no real idea of why it was born or why it must die. It exists in a sweltering cauldron of uncertainty and confusion that it must routinely deny or eventually be devoured by. To consider, on a daily basis, your true purpose while, simultaneously recognizing that the purposes you have been, and will, engage in are meaningless, would lead only to deep and unendurable anguish.

To constantly doubt every meaning and truth you’ve been taught can only result in a life of quiet desperation. 

Yet, logically, if every choice made was CERTAIN to be made, so that every preceding choice could be made as it must, then egocentricity obviously cannot exist within that certainty and….

….has never really existed at all.


Sittin' in the morning sun
I'll be sittin' when the evening comes
Watching the ships roll in
Then I watch them roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the Frisco Bay
Cuz I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothing's gonna come my way

So, I'm just gon' sit on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Looks like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, listen

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone, listen
Two thousand miles I roam
Just to make this dock my home, now

I'm just gon' sit at the dock of a bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
(Ottis Redding)


Artwork by Best Design - "Illustration of In The Midst Of Surreal Time"