Sunday, December 11, 2011

Going South in a Quantum Nano-Second

It's always amazing how your whole world can go south in a quantum nano-second.

Your best, most well laid plans can be instantly shattered by the smashing of a teacup. Chaos awaits all your aspirations and the ripples of chance will eventually overtake you, completely unaware, disturbing the placid waters of your comfortable life-stream without a moments notice.

And you will make choices that, inevitably, will dash you to pieces against the rocks. Puzzled, you vigorously shake your head, attempting to clear the smoke between your ears to attain some clarity as to "why." But to no avail.

What you thought was right is now suddenly dead wrong.

But your stuck with it. There’s no rewind.

Yet, you thought you knew! You had evaluated the situation with pinpoint precision and, after much thoughtful consideration, made your decision and in that moment it felt so right.

But now its suddenly so wrong.

Emotion restricts and limits the happy horse sheit you call “logic” and your rational judgments are nothing more than a paper wall as emotion crashes through and rips it all to shreds.

Man does not live by thought alone, but is ultimately driven by how he feels about what he thinks.

When will you learn that you cannot KNOW? When will you give up deciding? When will you let it be?

When will you allow CERTAINTY to decide for you?

Make no mistake, that choice you made the other day…

…had to be made and exactly as you made it.

There is either certainty or uncertainty. Both cannot exist simultaneously and, because you can attain to NO accuracy in your judgments, certainty MUST predominate over all judgments in "reality." The appearance of uncertainty is delusional.

This is so excruciatingly hard for egocentricity to roll with, because ego wants to WIN. Ego demands “success” as the means of defining itself as opposing "failure." The ego-self  seeks to accurately predict so that it can diligently plan and prepare for the outcome it desires for its future.

And in that suffocating box of predictable preparation, nothing else can be seen and awareness is stifled into complete ignorance. Everything you are preparing for is predicated on what came before. You know nothing else but what came before. All your dreams are entirely contingent on the past, (even though it is the past you run from in predicting your “better future").

This is always a recipe for disaster and it’s why disaster lurks around the corner of every choice you make, waiting to pounce on you with the unbearable weight of uncertainty and doubt. 

But that choice you made, that decision you worked so hard on, is just as certain as what comes to you without your egocentric preparation planned from predictions based on the past.

So why bother at all? Why are you working so hard? Why not ease up a little? Why not accept the CERTAINTY of every choice you make?

Your only hope is CERTAINTY. But will you allow it?

Or will you decide you know what’s best? Will you rest upon the accurate predictability of your coveted choices? Will you perseverate upon what is right and wrong? Why do you think you know what the fook you need? Because the past has predicted it?

And when you take your final breathe, will you realize only then that it was all for naught? Will you finally resign yourself to fate?

Can you find comfort in the realization that you have made no “mistakes"? Can you live the rest of your days knowing you have not “succeeded” nor have you ever “failed” and neither assessment can ever again matter? What would happen to your precious values? Do you think God gives a sheit about your made up delusional morality?

Your revel in your egocentric individuality as if “you” meant something.

I would suggest you let it all go south and free yourself of the grinding bondage of your precious beliefs.

One day you will come to the realization that your beliefs don’t make a spit of difference to CERTAINTY.

It remains as CERTAIN today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow…

 Photo by Erik Johansson - "Melting Point"


  1. Mike, Your observation of the "weight" of some of the difficult decisions made re. certainty and uncertainty; you've nailed it! Love, love, love; "Do you think God gives a shit about your made up delusional morality?" I'm "struggling" with very important decisions right now; and while sitting here drinking coffee, reading the blog of a 'mad scientist', lol...what resonates repeatedly right now is, " yourself...".
    Still a fan. Great job freedom fighting against conformity with our egocentricity...Robyn

  2. Thanks Robyn!

    Peace angel,

  3. Perhaps simplicity in living (physically and mentally) minimizes the need for incessant decisions, so being in the world but not of it begins to make a good measure of sense with what you say here.

    Just the other day, I was thinking, it is at long last time to allow the past, all of it, to whirl away into the wind, like so many autumn leaves fallen around a maple tree. It's going to take a lot of meditation (because I keep trying to recreate my Grandmother's kitchen), but I think it can be done.

    "And when you take your final breathe, will you realize only then that it was all for naught? Will you finally resign yourself to fate?"

    I still think it matters what one does, or, in contrast, what one doesn't do (in matters of how one treats another, the earth and such things). Then again, that may be based on beliefs as well. There is a song, sung by the late Steve Goodman, about the post Civil War entitled "Spoon River" (inspired by the literary work, no doubt) and a verse in that song goes:

    But you know and I know
    there never was reason to hurt
    When all of our lives
    were entwined to begin with
    here in Spoon River.

    ...entwined to begin with, that's what is forgotten, I suppose.

    I like the post. I like how it is articulated.
    I wonder what is inherently wrong with the human being. Still, the notion of ego being an appendage of Purgatory makes sense as my own mind...often...of course.