Enjoy Your Suffering...Because It Defines “You”

Every day you wake up...the suffering begins. This is because the ego-self (package of beliefs you call “me”) is defined by all the things it does in order NOT to suffer and this is contingent on the need TO suffer as the chief defining attribute of an ego-self.

Let’s face it, if you weren’t continually seeking a means to avoid suffering (by pursuing" happiness”) what else would you be doing? All your grand plans, and subsequent day to day activities, are devised to escape suffering.

However, ironically, the ego often demands you suffer more in order to eventually achieve the reward of NO suffering and this is the theme of all religion and spirituality.

You say, “I’m not trying to avoid suffering. I just want to be happy.” Problem is your seeking “happiness” assumes its absence and if “happiness” is absent, suffering must fill that void (because nature abhors a vacuum). Therefore, it is crucial that the ego-self continually devise new suffering strategies for which to escape, because the ego-self is a master of suffering (and it can never escape that)

The moment suffering is entirely erased from your life is the moment “you” cease to exist, simply because the chief defining factor of “you” is obliterated, taking "you" with it.

Suffering merely signifies unfilled needs that are lacking, lost or denied. Every action and behavior is entirely motivated to fill a need. Certainly, the body has needs, but an ego-self has NO real needs, simply because IT isn’t real (like a rock is real) and is nothing more than an experience you interpret as ‘real.’ There is no such thing as a ‘self,’ in any tangible sense, because it’s an ‘experience’ you made up (with a little help from your friends). You didn’t make it up in your “mind” either, since there is no such thing as “mind,” only the interpretation of experiences through ideological labels like mind, consciousness, thought, etc.

Therefore, all your experiences are completely malleable and you can shape it anyway you like. 

If only you were taught that in childhood. Yet, what you were taught was “rules” and you apply the rules you learned to all your experiences so that there are only certain things that CAN be experienced. You sculpt your ‘self’ based on the rules of what a self is and what it can do and anything outside those rules is simply NOT ‘real.’

So where did you get your rules as to how your ‘life’ should be experienced? 

From the scripts the world provides to escape suffering. 

Do you feel fulfilled in your job and career? Is your education filling a lack? Do the things you’ve collected give you a sense of satisfaction? Do you pride yourself on your intellect? Does having lots of money give you pleasure? Does your ‘family’ fulfill a need? Are you uplifted by your status and prestige? Does your “spirituality” or religion provide you with a sense of heightened importance? Do you perform actions and behaviors that make you happy? Does having thousands read your blog give you a sense of pride? Have you chosen people who make you happy, only to discard them when they no longer meet that requirement? Do you demand a certain frequency of sex to feel satisfied? Is it crucially important that your kids get good grades? Do you look forward to ‘retirement’? Do you demand you always get your “moneys worth” for the things you buy?

If none of these things aid you in the escape from suffering... not to worry. Just project it outward, away from the "mind" and blame the world from which you extracted your “happiness scripts.” The ego demands experiences be projected outward so that you can deny responsibility as Maker-of-All-Experience and, thus, blame the ‘world’ for your suffering, because the most crucial rule you learned was that you MUST always be victim OF the world. All experiences are entirely contingent upon what the world teaches CAN be experienced and that simply reinforces your victimization.

However, you could deny the world the power to define “you.” 

You could end your victimization now, if you only knew how to stop it….

Got to get some food
I'm so hungry all the time
I don't know how to stop
I don't know how to stop

Got to get some sleep
I'm so nervous in the night
I don't know how to stop
No, I don't know how to stop

Got to pick up the phone
I will call any number
I will talk to anyone

I know I've gone too far
Much too far I gone this time
Don't want to think what I've done
I don't know how to stop
I don't know how to stop

There are always hidden silences
Waiting behind the chair
They come out when the coast is clear
They eat anything that moves
I go shaky at the knees
Lights go out, stars come down
Like a swarm of bees

You know I hate to hurt you
I hate to see your pain
But I don't know how to stop
No, I don't know how to stop

Street after street
Night after night
I walk on through the rain
I walk on through the rain 

(Peter Gabriel)


Artwork by magicshadow - "Suffering"