“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.
Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchased in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.
I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you’ve got heroin?” (Trainspotting)Does the the opium of your Buddhist philosophy maintain your comfort zone and keep you in good cheer and positive spirit? Does your Zazen provide you a sense of well-being through neurochemical whiz-bangs? Does your Advaita make you feel special and raise you above the quiet desperation of the ignorant masses? Does your meditation, meticulously scheduled-in twice daily, help medicate you from the meaningless rigors of your mindless middle class, status-quo existence? Does your particular brand of Christianity help cope with your continued participation in vacuous and insipid social games that you sometimes sense are absurd and pointless? Are your spiritual retreats sprinkled with love and comradery?
As the beloved guru was claiming that we must “serenely mirror the divine love of the universe,” and that we must “engage the world exclusively through universal compassion and unconditional love,” I looked out the side window to observe a cat shred a bird to pieces, devouring each piece then vomiting up the bones and feathers, only to lightly prance off into the trees, tra la la la la….
Does the cat not know of this "divine love"? Where is its “compassion” and “unconditional love”? Nature couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your dreams, goals and desires. Nature essentially sheits on your spiritual aspirations and practices. Nature doesn’t care if you’re satisfied, discontent or kumbaya happy. Nature doesn’t give a spit about “you” and you are an integral part of it, regardless of silly ideas and activities you employ to generate a belief of extracting your “self.”
If you are not nauseatingly depressed and morose. If you’re not discouraged, disgusted and disenchanted with every choice you have made, thus realizing every future choice can only mirror that same fucking generic futility, then you’re still hypnotized by the invisible jewels of your egocentric conditioning and aren’t even close to the truth of your confinement.
Therefore, you can only choose “life."
It does seem that when you finally reach a point in which nothing gives relief, then you can count on breaking through. Unfortunately, egocentrics struggle mightily against this natural current and it may take years to get to that point, if you get it at all. But that doesn’t matter because it’s not something you choose. Mostly, though, you will choose “life” in an attempt to find a way out of the massive sinkhole of despair you have serendipitously dropped into, but when no further ropes are available for which to climb out, then be of good cheer, for you are almost “’there” (from which you learn you’ve gottin’ nowhere at all and what a “happy” day that’ll be).
Alas, until then, egocentrics MUST choose “life” for no reason at all, except that its really no different than heroin.
Or you can choose something else…
…and very few will ever do that.
Artwork by Sean Donaldson - "Clyde The Evil Cat"
What if the 'breaking through' never happens though? Isn't that just another 'pot of gold at the end of - I might say, quite a masochistic - rainbow'? I'm probably missing the point (I'm really good at this, I've found) but why not just try to get as much enjoyment out of life as you possibly can? I guess be a hedonist, in moderation, and try not harm others if you can (in the final analysis if you want to be brutal, I guess because hurting others feels bad, for most humans). There have been times were I've felt I couldn't ever enjoy anything again, and they passed. Was this a blessing or a curse, I don't know, but it feels like the former in comparison. It's a losing battle looked at one way, but saying 'Fuck it! Bring on the misery!' would only seem to make sense to me if there was some sort of pay-off imagined at the 'end' (very egocentric of me, I suppose). I realise you imply that nothing will have changed in fact, though. I won't pretend to be able to wrap my head around that kind of thing but it tallies with stuff I've heard others, who I for what ever reason do tend to trust, say. Fully expecting to have missed the point here by the way. I liked someone else's comment on your Life Attract blog, ''hello I'm ... and I'm insane.'' I should have introduced myself in the same way, as a caveat. That was a great post on there by the way, that made more sense to me. The whole 'forgetting and remembering' motif strikes a deep chord in me, and for some reason I have the faith (usually) that we all do get to remember in the 'end' (possibility of being a comforting belief or particularly vivid acid flashbacks permitted) ...... So maybe I agree! I forget....
ReplyDeleteI guess the point, not necessarily emphasized in this particular post, is that there is no choice, because there is no free-will from which to choose, even though it certainly seems that way.
ReplyDeleteHence, it seems that you're a bit farther along in this respect. Not your choice, but there it is nonetheless.
So, in that regard, why not get as much enjoyment out of life as you can?
I see no reason not to...
Thanks!
Mike
Thanks Mike, I don't know about being farther along, in fact I highly doubt it with my mind - it's absolutely all over the place sometimes. But as you I'm sure you well know there's an awful lot of beauty and awe along the way as well as all the bad stuff in this life. Often it's just our minds that are creating the terrible scenarios we seem to be living in, and we ignore the simple pleasures that can be had (you're right there seems to be no choice in whether we do this or not though). Last recommendation I will make, but have you encountered Peter Brown (theopendoorway.org)? I think you might like his talks. Not you're average Californian 'guru', I can assure you! You might resonate, you might not. :) Thanks, keep 'em coming, always interesting to say the least!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome,
ReplyDeletemike