The Unsustainable Paradigm of the Solitary Seeker

I visited a wonderful website (Edge) recently that was a real motivational read in that the authors presented future epochal social and cultural changes that are incredibly exciting and sustainable. The authors clearly have the desire, that we all do, to envision changes to an "outside" world to replace the unsustainable existence we now seem to perpetuate.

One thing that seems to be missing in the changes many claim we are about to envision, as the old, unsustainable paradigms and value systems drop off, are changes to relationships. More specifically the changes to intimate relationships, which may require the very definition of intimacy to be re-evaluated or reinvented so as to be sustainable in a post-modern world.

The problem with the technological fix, which is the chief mode of change most visionaries seem to address, is that we tend to become overly reliant on technology to advance our evolution of consciousness. I feel this is a repetitive problem we face in that technology becomes symbolic of an advanced collective mind, when in reality we continue to compulsively fear and hate each other as we always have throughout the preceding centuries. Though it seems sad to me, technology has not seemed able to accelerate our advancement in our simply being more able to love each other (or in reducing the harm we perpetuate upon each other in so many ways).

The couples I meet, day in and day out, for "therapy," continue to exhibit reliance on the same tired old unsustainable paradigm of relating. The same fights and conflicts, the same patterned defense mechanisms and self-protective strategies continue to be taught by parents to children who then grow to further perpetuate, overt and covertly, mutual victimization of one another in the failure to clearly see the truth of what they do to one another and the global effects of this continued paradigm of 'love.'

Of course, this perpetual relationship conflict is a microcosm of the world and the same self-protective strategies we engage with, in our so called ‘love-relationships,' are the same strategies nation-states employ to maintain sovereign power and self-protection. Your ego is as sovereign as any country and when that ‘psychological sovereign-self' experiences threat it will attack. Whether through ICBM missiles or emotional poison darts, self-protection is the paradigm that need be changed.

I don't think this change will be soon availed of and this is because conscious advancement or "enlightenment/awakening" continue to be advocated as a solitary self endeavor. The self seeks enlightenment or awakening and we have very few paradigms which proclaim that this journey is a mutual endeavor that requires two or more. It seems the chief paradigm is of the solitary seeker engaging in austere and esoteric spiritual practices and from that, increases his/her loving engagement with others and the world. I sense that this paradigm is no longer sustainable, merely because it tends to leave out others and deny that we journey together. I feel that this paradigm asserts that this solitary seeking will eventually lead to the unified oneness but negates that it is NOW. I believe this tends to ignore that, as many "masters" have proclaimed, the journey is all there is and there is NO destination or goal to be achieved. It is in the journey together that you will find each other and YOURSELF.

In my opinion, the visionaries that seek to change the big picture by reinventing the little picture (the intimacy of two into one) will help create massive changes rather quickly. Otherwise, we merely delay our collective enlightenment, in seeking to tweak the old model/paradigm by applying band aids to surface wounds when the real disease is epidemic and deep within the conscious and unconscious individual and collective mind. Let's go there together and apply the cure so that we can never again think apart.

Without this intimacy with ourselves how can we expect to achieve the degree of intimacy with the world that will result in the love that will change it?