Conversations with ego: Doing the "ego-squirm"

e: Mike, your not gettin’ any traffic with all this metaphysical blather about relationships. They’re droppin’ like flies! People don’t want to hear about how they need others to awaken. They want to do it themselves, because they don’t trust one another. The only way this blog is gonna get real is if ya tell people what they want to hear.

M: Well, maybe what they want to hear is not what they need to hear.

e: Oh great! What’re you… the fookin’ Messiah?!

M: That’s what “you” want to hear. I suppose the chief project of this blog is an attempt to extract myself from you and see what comes up. Relationships with other people have been incredibly helpful in that process. I really get to see what your made of, which may help me engage with something deeper than you.

e: Trust me, Mike, nothing comes up from that “process” that you can use IN the world. And you are most certainly IN the world, no doubt about it. Forget about this silly idea that there’s something other than me that makes up “you.” I’m it brother! There ain’t nothin’ else for you to rely on.

M: I'm not so sure I fully believe that.

e: “Believe”?? Ha! Who’d you think determines what you "believe"??? Who do you think came up with the notion of transcending 'me' in the first place? You think you’re so damn smart, but it’s really me that gives you all your bright ideas. I’m in every thought you think, every post you write…in every word you type. You can’t exist without me!

M: That’s what “you” think.

e: I’m YOU!! Get that through your thick head.

M: But what if there is a part of “me” that you’re simply not aware of, and cannot ever be aware of? What if, by extracting myself from “you,’ I can correspond with something that ”you” have nothing to do with?

e: Oh that’s good, bro! Write that shit down. The new agers love that gahbage. See? Now we’re workin’ as a team. Ha!

M: But you think it’s bullshit, while I believe it’s true.

e: Dude, if it was true, you’d experience it. But you don’t. You experience what I tell ya to experience. There ain’t nothin’ you’re ever gonna experience without me. Without me, how would you know what is true or false?

M: Once again, that’s your belief and just because you believe it, doesn’t make it true.
 
e: Truth is what I say it is! Besides, try experiencing something without me. Go ahead and try. It’s impossible. The moment “you” experience something without me is the moment “you” cease to exist.

M: Well, I’m not so sure I exist anyway. At least not the “I” that needs “you.”

e: Oh, that’s a good one! Unfortunately, I know your games and it won’t work on me. There ain’t no other “I,” so forget ’bout it.

M: Says “you.”

e: Are you serious about this?!

M: Ah ha! You’d love that, wouldn’t “you”? Then you can takeover and control the show. Sorry, but no. I’m not at all serious. In fact, the first step in extracting from you is NOT taking “you” seriously.

e: Wait! Okay fine…there’s a part of you that is without me. Hey! I’ll even help ya find it.

M: Thanks, but no thanks. I think I’ll do this without you this time. In fact, I think I’ll look to other people to help me and I have plenty of relationships to choose from.

e: But they’re as fooked up as you are! How can they help?

M: They’re not “you.”

e: But Mike, there must be an easier way, because that’s gonna be downright uncomfortable for both of us.

M:I dunno... I’m beginning to enjoy seeing you squirm


Artwork by Yue Minjun - "Holding Head"