We never stop dancing and no one dances alone. Although you may change partners, or even change the steps of the dance, the dance never ends. No matter what steps you dance, the dance belongs to both, because no one dances alone (although some think they do).
The finite dance expects outcomes and rewards in determining how the dance will proceed. You demand the “loved' one conform to your criteria of love for the expected outcome to be experienced and they expect you meet their criteria.
An infinite dance, with the purpose of awakening together, makes no such demands and in that refusal to control, awakening between two is facilitated as ONE.
You would like to change the steps of your dance? You would like less conflict and more “love”? No Problem. Simply change the steps together. Change the steps alone and the finite dance of conflict continues.
Change can be difficult when each individual ‘ego-self- demands its dance be the only dance. Many “loving” relationships spend years battling over who is to lead.
Love has no limits but those you impose in the belief that love must conform to certain conditions in order to BE love. You impose those conditions upon the other and demand they be accepted. If they are not, then you claim that your needs are NOT being met. When the relationship eventually ends, you simply go off in search of another (partner) to meet your needs (dance to your steps). Rarely, will you examine the truth of what you “need” and you will continue to expect the other to dance to your steps as proof of their love.
When you surrender your old song and dance routines and let Deep Spirit lead you, the infinite dance will guide you both to an intimate awakening.
For finite dancers, the outcome is more important than the dance itself. Love becomes a burden to bear, rather than an infinite dance of mutual awakening. Eventually, partners come to believe that they dance alone and so conflict ensues as each demands the other conform to the ‘correct’ steps. Rarely will you both stop to examine the dance that you have created together. Yet, only by looking at the steps you have created together, will those steps ever be changed. These are the patterns of egocentric “love” that obstruct Deep Spirit and the dance of intimate awakening.
To dance together is to choreograph patterns that often evolve on an unconscious level. We become attuned to each others steps, making the dance predictable, as we easily fall into step with one another in dancing out our repetitive conflicts. As if following footprints painted on the floor, the dance is burned into the subconscious mind and we relate always from the same steps.
To change the steps is to change the dance.
Discover the mutual patterns and learn the steps that you each dance to. Your expectations of how the dance should occur are the means of learning how you define 'love', because it is your definition that determines the steps you require. From two dances a whole new dance evolves, that will either make you weary of the burden or take you to unimagined new heights.
The ego-self lives by patterns. The ego discerns patterns through which to predict the future. It believes that through the power of prediction it can limit fear and, therefore, always be prepared for what it expects. This creates the same old song and dance routines that you both live by, with the same outcomes you have come to expect. Love has become a burden that causes you to seek to be free of “love.”
Make no mistake, any “love” that you now seek to be free of, was never love to begin with.
If you don’t discover the patterns of the dance, you will each dance the same steps in every intimate relationship you engage with and this conforms to the egocentric need for patterns, which the ego believes increases comfort by relieving fear, but only increases suffering by demanding repetition.
We all long for the the dance of intimate awakening, when the two become one in releasing control of each other. This is the dance of non-duality when two join as one. If you feel you dance alone then together you must seek to change the steps, because you can never stop dancing and no one dances alone.
Let your steps awaken you both to a relationship with no limits.
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